South park oneshots

Stylenny - Fuck you Eric

Cartman was holding Kyles hat just out of the reach of a angry looking Jew. " GIVE IT BACK FATASS! " Kyle screamed,  his insecurities about his hair flooding his mind,  making hot tears prick at his eyes. " No!  I want the world to see your ugly Jew fro! " Cartman taunted,  making Kyle sink to his knees sobbing. He smiled at the broken boy in front of him,  kicking him in the stomach. " Don't EVER call me Fatass,  you dirty fucking Jew" Cartman spat at him, dropping his hat and  walking out of the room. Kyle knelt on the floor on all fours,  red faced and panting from the kick. He squished his eyes shut tight,  and let salty tears flood down his cheeks onto the floor. He'd hated his hair ever since he was a kid,  and Cartman was well aware,  using it to bully him whenever he was bored. Kyles phone suddenly rang,  and he took a deep breath before answering. " Hey Stan... " He said in a broken tone. " Kyle? What's wrong?  Kyle? " Kyle replied by quietly sobbing,  too upset to even form words. " Fuck,  I'm coming round with Ken..  Don't worry dude..  Its okay.. " Stan said,  concern dripping from his words.  He hung up and instantly texted Kenny. "Hey dude,  Kyles upset,  come quick" He then sprinted over to his ginger friends house,  knocking rapidly on the door. He saw an orange blur approaching him,  smiling as he recognized the handsome face and shaggy blonde hair. Both boys stood outside the door as it opened,  revealing a broken Kyle,  eyes red with tears. " KYLE! " Both boys said worriedly, quickly embracing the Jew. " babe,  what's wrong? " Kenny said full of concern,  the pet name he used still managing to make Kyles lips to slightly curve upwards,  even while he was in this state. Kyle hugged them tighter,  making Stans heart flutter. "Eric..  He..  He took my hat and...  He " Kyle burst into tears again, making Kenny pick him up and carry him to the sofa,  laying him down gently.  Stan closed the door and rushed over to sit with the two admittedly very hot boys.  He shook the thoughts out of his mind,  feeling guilty that he was thinking them whilst his friend was upset. He sat next to Kyle,  lazily playing with the firey curls atop his head whilst the Jew hugged his blonde friend tightly. " Did he say something about your hair again sweetie? " Kenny said softly,  earning a nod from Kyle. Kenny calling Kyle pet names made Stans heart warm,  which confused him as he thought he should  feel jealous...  For one of them.  Instead,  he loved them both.  Kyle knew about Stans crush on kenny,  and Kenny was aware of their shared crush on Kyle. Kenny and Stan would stay up for hours talking about those emerald eyes and orange hair,  but he never had the courage to tell Kenny that he thought about his icy eyes and golden waves just as fondly. Kenny inhaled thickly,  enjoying the smell of cinnamon filling his nostrils from Kyle,  and the rich scent of dark chocolate and brandy that stained Stans clothes. Stan wasn't an alcoholic anymore,  but his dad was,  resulting in endless sleepovers at Kyles house,  which Kenny joined in with,  grateful to have heating. Kyle leant further into Kenny's chest,  wrapping his arm around Stan so that he sandwiched the boys together in a hug. " Kyle...  Just for the record..  You have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen" Stan said shyly,  making kenny smile and Kyle blush. "R... Really? " He sniffles. " Of course you do you fucking moron" Kenny laughed, ruffling the soft curls. Kyle looked up at him,  staring into his light blue eyes,  his eyes tracing the light freckles dusted over his nose. " Kenny..  I uh... " Kyle turned red and looked at Stan,  who was goofily smiling at the pair. Kyle smiled at his expression. "Guys I know that this is a really weird time but uh.. " Kyle began,  staring down at his hands.  " I think...  I think I like you,  like more than a friend.. Like..  Whenever I see you my heart just wants to explode..  Like-" He was cut off by Kenny awkwardly rubbing his neck and asking" This is really sweet and all Kyle but uh..  Who are you talking to? " Kyle blushed,  burying his face in his hands groaning. Both boys stared intently,  waiting for his reply. " mhmmmhmmmm" Kyle mumbled. " Dude you sound like Kenny,  what are you sayin--" Stan was cut off by soft lips against his. The kiss was short and tender, making Kennys heart full,  but drop slightly when he realised that both of the boys he wanted to date were now taken. To both of the boys surprise,  Kyle turned from Stan and smashed his lips into Kennys,  the same way he had done to Stan.  He then buried his face again,  leaving Stan and Kenny in shock. " Dude... " They both said staring at each other breathlessly.  Stan was lost in Kennys eyes,  and his mind was foggy from the kiss.  Before he knew it,  they were making out,  Kyle peeking at them through his fingers, delighted at what he saw.  The boys pulled away,  looking at each other,  faces flushed. " Well this is complicated" Kenny chuckled,  leaning back in the chair. " What..  What just happened? " Stan asked. " I don't know dude...  All I know is that... I love you..  Both. " Kyle responded,  gently grabbing both of the boys hands. Stan held out his free hand to Kenny shyly. "M.. Me too" He stuttered,  blushing hard and hoping that Kenny would take his hand. Kenny eagerly snatched it,  giving them both a toothy grin. " Me three" he chuckled,  making all of the boys smile.  Kenny watched proudly,  as Stan pulled Kyle into a heated make out session,  stroking Kennys hand with his thumb.  When Stan pulled away for air,  Kyle immediately crashed his mouth into Kennys chapped lips,  Kenny licking his bottom lip to ask for enterence.  Kyle gladly obliged,  opening his mouth and dancing his tongue around Kennys. Kenny then felt a hand on his thigh,  and pulled away to see Stan lustily staring at the pair. Kenny grabbed his collar,  shoving his tongue forcefully into his mouth,  fighting for dominance with the shorter but muscular male.  He won,  and happily smirked through the kiss. They then pulled away,  looking at a flushed Kyle. " I'm never wearing my hat again" Kyle joked,  just as he  watched Kennys eyes flicker with rage,  remembering what Cartman had done. " Come with me guys" He said,  picking his shorter boyfriends up and leading them to the door. " Kenny..  Babe..  Where are we going? " Kyle asked nervously,  testing out a pet name.  Kenny smiled at this,  affirming Kyle that this was a good idea. " Don't worry your pretty head about it honey" He smiled,  placing a kiss on his forehead,  and smiling lovingly at Stan. Stan and Kyle shared a suspicious look as Kenny led them down the street,  making as b-line for Cartmans house. Kenny almost forgot his rage when Stan unlinked their hands to wrap his arm around his shoulders,  and Kenny decided to do the same with Kyle,  rejoining their hands once he was hugging his boyfriend. " Hey do you remember when Cartman bought pubes from Scott Tenorman and ended up doing th piggy dance on the screen in front of everyone" Stan chuckled,  making the boys giggle. " I literally died" Kenny laughed,  the events replaying in his mind. " What about that time Butters filmed him singing in a dress with a cardboard cutout" Kyle laughed loudly,  sending the others into a laughing fit. " And that was AFTER he fucking wore a robot costume for a week and had to deal with Butters ass problems" Kenny added,  howling at the thought. The boys continued laughing happily,  until they reached Cartmans door,  suddenly aware of what was about to go down. Kenny cracked his knuckles,  and took off his parka to reveal a tall,  slightly muscular but severely malnourished body. " Shit..  Kenny" Kyle winced in sympathy. " Yea man..  Jesus are you ok" Stan agreed softly. " Guys I'm fine,  I just REALLY have to do this. " He said determined,  stomping up to Cartmans door.  He banged on it hard with his fist,  making Kyle and Stan shudder.  " Dude..  Don't do this,  we don't want you getting hurt... " Kyle pleaded. " Sorry baby..  But he hurt you..  And I can't let that go unpunished. Also,  I might look like a stick but trust me,  I took down a six foot eight trucker once,  I can handle this blob. " Kenny replied as the door slowly opened,  revealing a bored looking Cartman. " Oh hi poor boy,  what do you wa--" He was cut off by a sharp blow to the jaw,  knocking him onto the concrete step below him.  " JESUS FUCK MAN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" Cartman yelled angrily,  looking up at Kenny as Stan and Kyle rushed up to pull him away.  Cartman smiled sickly,  " Awe Kinnyyy,  protecting your boyfriends? " He said,  spitting blood from his mouth. Kenny turned around slowly " Yes actually" He replied,  sprinting back towards the plump boy,  straddling him and hailing down strong punches to his nose,  feeling it crack under his hands. " KENNY STOP! " Kyle yelled,  running towards his boyfriend,  only to watch him be flipped onto his back by Cartman,  who was not as skilled at fighting,  but much heavier,  allowing him to pin the tall boy. Cartman landed a blow to Kennys nose,  splitting his lip and making blood pour from his nostril,  he landed another on his face,  sure to leave a black eye.  Stan then jumped in,  pulling Cartman off of him and pushing him down roughly. " Come on babe,  he's not worth it. " Kyle said. Stan glared at Cartman,  picking up Kenny and walking back to Kyles house to clean up his wounds.  " Shit man,  are you ok? " Kyle asked worried,  looking at Kennys bloody face.  " Yea,  it looks worse than it is" He smiled,  satisfied that he had broken Cartmans nose. " That'll teach him to mess with our man" Kenny looked up at Stan smirking. " Dude! " Stan tried to hold back a laugh,  ruffling the sandy waves on Kennys head. The boys made sure that Kennys wounds were properly dealt with when they got into Kyles house, then flopped down onto the sofa,  limbs tangled with each other. " Kenny,  that was stupid...  But..  I love you" Kyle smiled,  stroking along his jawline. " Me too you fucking dick" Stan laughed,  kissing his hand. " Fuck guys, I actually think I'm like gonna die if one of you doesn't kiss me right now" Kenny replied laughing,  both of his boyfriends kissing his cheeks,  and then meeting at Kennys lips to join all three of them in a quick but tender kiss. " Let's just stay like this forever" Stan happily sighed,  snuggling into Kennys chest.  " Deal" Chimed the other two eagerly,  Kyle mirroring Stans pose,  and Kenny wrapping his arms tightly around them both.  The boys were happier than they had been in a long,  long time.