South park oneshots

Kyman - Thats gay

Cartmans heart raced as he plastered himself to the wall. He screwed his eyes shut as his face heated up,  hoping to God that Kyle hadn't seen him. Cautiously,  he peeked back around the corner,  sighing gratefully when he saw the Jew turned back to his locker as he took out his notes. Cartman grinned goofily,  watching as Kyle spotted a stray red curl poking out from his hat,  blowing it away from his face and pouting adorably when it came back. He reached his hand up,  tucking it away and smiling in satisfaction, making Cartmans heart flip in his chest. " Whacha doing chubby? " Kenny grinned,  appearing behind Eric and making him jump a foot in the air. " JESUS FUCKING- KENNY YOU ASSHOLE DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT! " Cartman spluttered defensively. Kenny ignored his friend,  looking around the corner and trying to figure out who Cartman was spying on. " AY POOR BOY STOP LOOKING OVER THERE" Cartman blushed,  jumping up and down in front of Kennys line of vision so that he couldn't see Kyle. " Only two people I know that get their notes out at lunch,  and the other one is over there trying to get Clyde to stop crying" Kenny smirked,  raising an eyebrow at Eric who was redder than Kyles hair.  " Why is Clyde crying? " Cartman chuckled nervously,  trying desperately to change the subject. " Yea right like you care" Kenny laughed.  " But he's crying because sOMeBoDy told him that the tooth fairy is going to kill him in his sleep" Kenny said,  rolling his eyes as Cartman smiled to himself.  " That was pretty funny though" Eric grinned,  before Kenny took the oppurtunity to look over his shoulder,  seeing Kyle and bursting into laughter.  " I KNEW IT! " Kenny said as Cartman widened his eyes,  trying to cover Kennys mouth before Kyle noticed them.  " YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON THE JE- MMMPFH" Kenny laughed through Cartmans hand.  " SHUT UP POOR BOY! " Cartman screeched,  face  blushing darker than Kenny even thought was possible. " Okay okay" Kenny finally agreed,  wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as Cartman reluctantly removed his hand. Kenny paused for a minute,  a smirk growing on his lips before he sprinted towards Kyle. " YO KYLE! " Kenny yelled as Kyle turned to him with a confused expression. Cartman ran after him,  cursing his tiny legs and big bones as he watched Kenny whisper something in Kyles ear before running off again. " KENNY!! " Cartman screeched,  stopping running as he panted heavily,  holding onto his legs for support. He felt his heart rise to his throat as he slowly looked up,  cautiously looking at Kyle who was frozen on the spot and blushing almost as much as himself.  " Uh.. " Cartman said awkwardly,  standing up and rubbing his neck nervously.  " Kenny is a lying asshole" Cartman chuckled unconvincingly.  " Even an uh..  Even a dumb Jew should know that" He said,  attempting to hide the truth with insults as usual. When Kyle remained silent,  Cartman felt panic fill his chest.  His silence was somehow way worse than his usual yelling.  " Say something then Jew! " Cartman ordered,  his voice shaking with nerves. Kyle turned to Cartman,  looking him in the eyes as he opened his mouth to say something,  but Stan appearing from seemingly nowhere and leaning on Kyles shoulder interrupted him. " Hey guys,  you coming or not?  Kenny ran off somewhere so its kinda dead in there" Stan said,  motioning towards the lunch room. " Uh..  Yea" Kyle said quietly,  clearing his throat as he looked at Cartman one more time. The three walked to the lunch room,  Stan chattering to them about something that neither was listening to. Their heads were too full of thoughts as they tried to sneak glances at eachother while the other wasn't looking,  sometimes making eye contact by mistake and turning bright red. Cartman mentally kicked himself. This wasn't who he was!  He wasn't the kind of guy who blushed because someone looked at him.  He sighed,  frowning as he tried not to think about what Kenny must have said.  Kyle was obviously coming to a similar realisation,  as he interrupted his friend.  " Sorry Stan,  we'll be right back" He stated,  grabbing Cartmans arm tightly as he pulled him towards the toilets. " Uh..  Ok? " Stan said after them,  watching them dissapear and shrugging.  " OW JEW LET GO! " Cartman hissed as Kyle shut the door behind them.  Kyle let go of him,  crossing his arms as Eric rubbed where Kyle had been gripping. " WHAT WAS THAT FOR ASSHOLE? " Cartman snapped. " Why did Kenny say that you liked me? " Kyle blurted out,  making Cartman turn red again. " Because.. Uh..  Hes..  Hes so poor he couldn't afford braincells to uh.. " Cartman spluttered,  trying to think of an excuse as he looked anywhere but at Kyle. " Eric look at me" Kyle said firmly, the use of his first name making Cartmans heart flip in his chest. " Do you have a crush on me? " Kyle asked as their eyes met. Cartman remained silent.  Kyle watched as a sadness flickered in his eyes as he looked towards his feet,  and felt a pang of sympathy for the boy. " Because.. " Kyle began,  feeling his own face heat up.  " Because even if you are an asshole..  And a bigot..  And a huge dick..  And a-" Kyle stopped when Cartman shot an angry glare at him.  " What im trying to say is..  I like you too..  Or whatever" Kyle admitted,  looking away as Erics eyes widened hopefully.  " What? " He asked,  not quite believing that his friend actually felt the same way. " You heard me the first time fatass" Kyle snapped,  blushing darker. Cartman smirked.  " Thats gay" He chuckled,  grinning when Kyles lips started to curl into an involuntary smile as he rolled his eyes. " Says you fatty"  Kyle said,  his smile growing wider as he met Erics eyes.  " I love you,  you stupid Jew" Cartman admitted, moving closer to Kyle.  " I love you too fatass". Kyle said,  before the pair closed the distance as their lips met eachothers.