Scars and Skies Above (Sky Series 1)

Flight MG-019: Gone

Trigger warning
You can skip this chapter

"We had to perform an Emergency Cesarean Section to remove the dead fetus in your body."

My whole world crumbled after hearing those words from the doctor. Pagkagising ko ay 'yon na agad ang balita sa akin. Hindi ko na rin naintindihan ang iba pa niyang mga sinabi dahil pakiramdam ko ay nabingi ako at wala nang iba pang marinig.

Emergency CS. Dead fetus. Scar.

My Scarlet was gone.

How could I grasp this new reality I was facing?

Walang nakakaalam ng nangyari sa akin bukod kay Gia dahil siya ang una kong tinawagan nang magkamalay na ako. Sa kaniya ako humingi ng tulong kahit alam ko na, na wala na ring pagasa. Kahit alam ko na, na huli na ang lahat. I already knew that it was too late but I was hoping that there's still a possibility for my daughter to be saved.

I should've just let myself die with my baby. Total ay ubos na ubos na rin naman ako. Sana hinayaan ko na lang na unti unti maubos ang dugo ko at matapos ang paghinga ko sa loob ng condo ko.

Maybe calling Gia was a wrong move? I deserved to die since I failed to protect the most important person in my life.

My baby Scar.

Fuck, why did it have to hurt this much? Bakit hindi na lang din ako nawala? I have endured so much pain for the past few months at akala ko kakayanin kong mag-isa.

Sana ako na lang. If only I could trade my life for her, I would do it in a heartbeat. Now my daughter was gone.

And it was my fault.

I'm so, so, sorry, Scar. I'm sorry.

I cried myself in to oblivion on Gia's arms. It felt like my heart was being ripped apart but I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I couldn't stop myself from breaking.

It kept falling and falling and I kept falling apart.

Please, make this pain go away. It hurts so much. Please, wake me up from this nightmare.

But the stabbing pain inside me told me it was real. I wasn't dreaming. And I have to face this.

Mason didn't know about it yet.

Wala akong lakas ng loob sabihin sa kaniya. Paano ko aaminin lahat ng kasalanan ko? Lahat ng kakulangan ko?

Kasalanan ko kung bakit wala na ang anak namin ngayon.

My Scar.

My sweet, little angel was gone and I would never be able to witness her first smile.

Her first word.

Her first step.

How would I face Mason after this?

Nakakahiya. Nakakadiri.

I wouldn't be able to stand it if I saw disgust on his face, when he starts hating me.

And I hated myself too.

My body was bruised all over but it was nothing compared to my aching heart. I cried as I remembered all the burn and cruel touch I have endured.

"I'm here for you, Gabby. I'm here for you." Gia sobbed beside me.

"Please don't tell him." My breath hitched painfully.

"Whatever you say, I'm with you. Do you understand? We'll get through this together, I won't leave your side."

I just nodded my head. I really have no strength to do anything except from breaking down. My whole body ached.

She just held me in her arms as I poured my heart out and grieve for the loss of my daughter, her sobs and tears mixing with mine. I felt like I lost myself too.