Elevator - w2s

-34-

Since the gender reveal, I haven't been feeling sick but I've had unbearable cramping in the bottom of my stomach. It's got to the point where I have thrown up from it. I haven't been able to get up most days. I needed the toilet so I got up from the bed and saw blood in my underwear. I thought I was imagining it but I knew that it was reality. I knew in TV shows this was a sign of miscarriage but I didn't know if it was just a theory made by directors. I immediately rang the clinic and she said to come as soon as possible so without waking Harry up I got dressed and left a note.

I just needed to go out for a bit, I'll be back soon - Lexi x

I grabbed my keys and headed out. I called an Uber and it came and picked me up. After an agonising 10 minutes we had finally arrived. She immediately brought me in and began doing an ultrasound. The room was silent as she was looking. "I'm sorry," she said causing me to look at her.

"W-What?" I asked.

"You've lost the babies," she said.

"No, please tell me you're joking," I said, tears running down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she said again. A wash of numbness ran over me. My heart rate had gone up drastically, "if you need any support-" she began.

"No, I'm fine," I said.

"It's okay to be upset," she said, "there's always help,"

"I don't need help," I said.

"I can book you in with a Thera-" she began again.

"I said I'm fine," I interrupted, "I just need some fresh air,"

"Are you sure?" She said.

"Yeah," I said, my voice cracking during it, "thank you,"

I got up and walked out of the room. I was physically shaking so I decided to go for a walk. I walked in the park and sat down. I just broke down on the spot. Two women came running over to me. "Are you okay?" The first one asked.

"I d-don't know," I said.

"Do you want to speak to us," the second one asked.

"I don't know," I said again.

"What's wrong," the first one asked.

"I-I can't-" I said.

"Has something happened?" The second one asked.

"I think so," I said.

"Is it a guy," the first one asked.

"N-No, I cant- I need to get home," I said.

"Do you want us to come with you?" They asked.

"N-No I'm fine," I said.

"are you sure?" They asked.

"Yeah," I said getting up, "thanks,"

"No problem," they said and I walked away. My breathing was all over the place. Once I arrived home I saw Josh and Freya getting out of their car. Freya saw me so I turned around and began walking the other way. I heard footsteps running up to me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah I just- I saw my mum again," I lied.

"Did she say anything?" She asked.

"I don't remember," I lied again.

"Did she hurt you?" She asked.

"N-No," I said and tears filled my eyes, "I hate everyone,"

"No you don't," she said but I remained silent, "let's get you inside,"

She guided me to the door and opened it. Harry and Josh were both looking at me but I broke down. I quickly walked into the bathroom and grabbed a blade. I locked the door and sliced my arm, cut after cut. "Lexi," I heard Harry say but I remained silent, "what's wrong baby,"

"Im fine," I said putting the blade into my arm one last time.

"No you're not," he said but I fell onto the floor. "Open the door," he said but I had no energy left to speak. "Lexi, open the fucking door," he banged on it but I couldn't move. He fiddled with the door handle until the door opened. His eyes immediately widened and he ran towards me. I looked down to see my blood running down my arms and onto the floor. "Josh," Harry screamed.

"I'm fine," I said smiling at him through tears, "don't get upset,"

"What's wro-" Josh said before he saw me and ran to go and get the medical bag. He pushed past Harry and put a warm tea towel onto my arms. "Fuck Lexi, what happened?"

I couldn't speak I just looked at him. He took one off and cleaned it before wrapping a bandage around it. He did the same to the other arm. "Can you stand up?" He asked.

"Don't be stupid," I said before trying to stand up but I felt faint. I was about to fall but Josh grabbed me and steadied me. He walked me over to the living room where there was a towel. "I'm fine honestly,"

"You're not fine look at you," he said. "Harry, I will clean the bathroom, you look after her,"

"I don't need looking after," I said, feeling drowsy.

"Yes you do," Harry said sitting next to me. I was very tired, "stay awake,"

"I just need to sleep," I said.

"No," he said and I tried to look at him, "you lost a lot of blood, you need to stay awake,"

"I'm fine," I said.

"What happened whilst you were out," He asked me.

"I just saw my mum," I lied.

"It was obviously something more than that," he said, "did you think about the girls?"

I looked at him and tears filled my eyes. I couldn't bring any words to my mouth. "Has something happened to them?" He asked and I broke down. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I only just found out," I said.

"Have you been drinking or something, is that why?" He asked.

"What, no.. of course not," I said.

"If you have I will kill you," he said.

"I haven't," I said.

"Fuck it," he said getting up and walking out of the door. I got up slowly and grabbed my phone and purse. I walked over to the door and let myself out before shutting it behind me. I walked to the nearest premier inn and booked a room. I walked into it and sat down on the bed. I had nothing left. The girls, Harry, myself, it seemed to have gone. I made a promise to myself to never speak to people again unless it was for food or the room. My phone began ringing and I saw it was Josh. I just ignored it. For the rest of the night, I got phone calls and messages from everyone but I just stayed staring at the wall..