Meeting Demi Lovato

Chapter 38

Demi's POV
Ever since I performed in Germany and sang to Y/n then kissed her, my fans have gone crazy! All they want is pictures and videos of me and Y/n together because they love seeing us together, and I find that so cute!! It's been a few weeks since then and to be honest, I haven't been doing so well. With my sobriety I mean. I have slipped up a few times during night outs with the crew after shows but no one noticed. And I haven't really been truthful to Y/n about it either. And I KNOW, she told me she'd leave me if I didn't get my shit together but I don't think she fully understands. I've struggled with addiction for most of my life and I can't make everything go away and be better just like that.

Tonight I'm performing in London, England and I'm so excited!! I haven't been to London in FOREVER and I'm finally able to perform here for my UK fans. It's 2 hours before showtime and I've already done soundcheck and rehearsals so I'm just in my dressing room alone, while Y/n hangs out with Jill.

I'm laying on the couch in the corner of the room scrolling through Instagram when I see a post I was tagged in. I click on the post and it's someone telling me to kill myself. Usually I wouldn't bother with the hate I receive but this just hurt me a little. I couldn't help myself but to go on the comments and some were from my fans sticking up for me but the majority of them were from other strangers and they were telling me to kill myself too. They also commented other hurtful things and as I read through the comments I couldn't help myself but to cry. Tears welled up in my eyes and before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to stay quiet so no one in the hallway could hear me but I couldn't stop crying. Eventually, after what seemed like forever, I calmed down a little, but I still had the comments in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about them, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't. So I decided to switch my phone off and go to my bag that was on the other end of the couch. I open a small pocket and grab a little plastic bag with white powder in it. I then go to the table and lay the powder down in a neat line, then I snort it all up from my nose. I wipe the excess from my nose and I just sit there, reflecting on my life. Past, present and future.

As I sat there I ended up tearing up again. I spent around 10 minutes just thinking and crying when I heard a knock on the door. "Baby? Can I come in?" Spoke the calming voice of my fiancé. Shit. If Y/n sees the mess I've made she'll be so mad. I quickly clean up the mess and shove the plastic bag in my travel bag before walking towards the door. I open it up to see my smiling fiancé. "Hi babygirl." I say smiling so she doesn't suspect anything. "Hi love, what's up." She replies as she walks in and sits on the couch. "Nothing much I was just on Instagram." I walk towards her and sit beside her then pull her on top of my lap. She stares deeply into my eyes then kisses my lips, we then kiss for a few minutes before breaking off to catch our breath. We talk for a while until Jill and Paul come in to start on my glam for the show. Once they do the final touch ups on my glam, Y/n, Jill and Paul leave so I can get dressed into my first outfit. And before I know it I'm back on stage performing, smiling and laughing as if nothing happened a few hours before...