Managing you || Ryeji

Chapter 44

(Author's note: I said I was sleeping and ended up writing up this awful chapter so have it)

They all hugged in a group as the show came to an end. There were tears and smiles all around. Their show had brought on so much more than any of them had expected. This ended as a bittersweet moment.

A lot had changed. A lot was still the same.

Ryujin felt both free and heavy.

As the others left, one by one. She stayed behind. Not daring to leave the house they had been living in for the last month.

Eventually, someone from the crew approached her, telling her they would soon be closing the door.

Ryujin wasn't the only one still there.

Yeji was sitting by the pool, her feet in the water. Alone.

She thought that once this was over, the oldest of them would be the first to leave. But she supposed it wouldn't be Yeji if she didn't surprise her.

"Can you give us some time?"

The crew member nodded, leaving the house.

For the next few minutes they would be alone.

Probably their last minutes together.

There was still so much she wanted to say. That she wanted to ask.

Ryujin sat besides Yeji. In silence.

And that's how they stayed for the following minutes.

"If I marry him, will it be the point of no return?"

Ryujin was thrown off by the sudden question. Caught off guard by the voice that faulted every few words. Clearly, Yeji wasn't at her best in that moment.

"What?"

"Could you ever forgive that?"

"I don't hate you for being happy with someone else, Yeji. I just hate how it happened. But to answer your question, I don't know."

There were a few moments of silence before the other spoke again.

"What I did to you, it's unforgivable. Yet you keep being here for me. Why?"

Why?

Shit.

Was it because of love?

She did feel that way but no.

What was it?

"It might be because I believe in you."

"Why would you, Ryujin?"

"I don't know. It's like asking why someone believes in God. I just do."

"You shouldn't."

"Yeah, probably not."

"You should yell at me. You should tell me how awful I am. How badly I fucked up. How I keep hurting you."

Ryujin hummed, watching as Yeji started to tear up. "I know. I should." She placed her arm around the other, hopefully offering her some comfort.

"I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you offering me my dream in a silver plater, I don't deserve your compassion or the way you will sit here next to me and listen to me while giving me comfort."

She pressed her lips together, thinking about those words. "It's not being given to you because you deserve it. It's being given to you because I want to." She sighed, still with her arm around the other. "I could spend all day yelling at you but it wouldn't change a thing, would it? I know I can be a bitch sometimes but I don't like being one. I don't particularly enjoy yelling at you either. Maybe it's stupid. Maybe I should let out my anger on you and walk away. But I can't bring myself to do that. Because despite you being a piece of shit towards me and hurting me at every opportunity, I know you're one of the kindest, sweetest and most amazing people I've ever met. Isn't that ironic?"

Yeji didn't say anything for what felt like both a second and hours. But she assumes must have been a minute or two.

"If I ask you for something, will you do it?"

Ryujin didn't need to know what it was. "Yes."

After a few more seconds Yeji spoke again.

"Don't hate me for marrying him." She sniffed before continuing with what she wanted to say. While Ryujin looked at her with all the attention she had. "Please."

If she ever had any doubt that Yeji would say 'I do' then it had just been taken away by her request.

"Why?"

"Because I can handle how we are right now. You and I. I can live knowing you feel the way you do at this exact moment. But if you hate me for marrying him, I don't think I'll be able to come back from it. Even if I let you in and explain why I did the things I did."

"So please, hate me for anything and everything else but forgive me for marrying him."

"Okay."