Finding the Light

Getting Caught

I'm frozen to my spot on the floor and I can't remember how to breathe. He hasn't tried to move any closer, he is just standing there sizing me up. Charlie is now screaming in my ear, begging me to tell him where I am, but I can't even remember. He tilts his head at me and moves to take a step. My body takes over and I turn and run. He's following me, I can hear his footsteps, but that's just pushing me to run faster. I make it to the stairwell and take the steps two at a time and rip open the door to the third floor. I make it to Jake's door and fling it open so hard it hits the wall. I slam it shut and fall to the floor trying to catch my breath.
"Jocelyn! What is going on, where are you?" Charlie is screaming now. I take a deep breath and try to put together the words.
"Charlie, I need you to come get me. I'm at Jake's apartment." I give him the address quickly and hang up. I look under the door and I can see his feet. He's standing out there, waiting for me to let him in.
"Jocelyn why are you on the floor?" I jump at the sound of Jake's voice and hit my head on the wall. I stand up and lock the door, and run to him.
"Jake listen to me very carefully. There is a man outside the door. He's after me, but I need you to hide. I need you to go lock yourself in the bedroom." His face scrunches up and he looks over my shoulder at the door and then back to me.
"Why would I hide? If he's after you let me protect you. Why is there someone after you at all?" I shake my head at him. I can't have him out here because Chuck will go insane, and I don't have time to explain all of this right now.
"No. You can't protect me. He will hurt you. I will explain everything once I get him to leave. Please just trust me. Go hide in the bedroom."
"Ok let's go hide." I look down at my feet and then back up at him and I know he understands now.
"What are you going to do?" He puts a hand on my shoulder and we hear a knock at the door.
"I'm going to let him in." Jake sighs at me and kisses my forehead and then walks to the bedroom. I wait until I hear the door close and then I turn back around and walk to the front door. Before I can open it I hear him speak.
"Jocelyn, I know you can hear me. Let me in sweetheart. We need to talk." I shiver hearing him call me sweetheart, but I take a deep breath preparing myself for what's to come and open the door. He's just standing on the other side, his arms crossed over his chest. He looks mostly the same as the last time I saw him. Dirty blonde hair that curls past his ears, green eyes that always seem to be angry, and a smile that could make any woman swoon. That is until you get to know him. He stands just over six feet tall so I have to look up at him, and he's always liked that because it gave him even more power. He raises an eyebrow at me and I realize he's waiting for me to let him in. I step aside and he saunters in, looking around at everything.
"Who's apartment is this Jocelyn?" He stops in the living room and takes in his surroundings. I can't tell him Jake lives here because he will go looking for him and I want to keep him safe.
"A girlfriend. She's out of town and I come over once a day to check on the place." I hear him laugh and he turns to look at me.
"You've always been a shit liar. Does he know you're out with other men during the day? He doesn't seem like the type who wants to share." I try to swallow the lump in my throat and walk further into the apartment.
"I'm not lying." He just rolls his eyes and steps closer to me. My whole body is shaking, but I don't let him see. If he knows I'm afraid, he's won, and I won't give him that.
"I never thought I'd get you alone. He's been watching you nonstop, never leaving your side and it was starting to irritate me. I've been looking for you for so long." He touches the side of my face with his finger tips and I flinch at the contact. He doesn't like this and he grabs the back of my neck to hold me in place. I let out a small squeal, but immediately calm myself.
"Why have you been hiding from me? Don't you think it's time for you to come home?" I look up at him, and all I want to do is scream, but I don't
"I have a home Chuck." He scowls, obviously disgusted by what I've said and pulls me to him. I'm inches from his face, and he leans down so our noses are almost touching.
"He is not your home. I am." I shake my head slightly, and he pushes down on my neck, knocking me to the floor.
"You do know he doesn't actually care about you right? He's just pretending, they are all pretending. No one could ever love you. No one except me, and I've spent long enough trying to find you. Get up, we're leaving." I have to stall him just a little longer, Charlie will be here any minute.
"Why have you been looking for me? If I'm so unlovable then why would you even want me back?" I stand up and look him square in the eye. He won't like this, and I'll probably pay for it, but I just need to keep him talking. He smirks at me and crosses his arms.
"You've gotten mouthy. I've been looking for you because you are mine Jocelyn. I'm the only person who could ever love you. Anyone else that comes along is just pretending. That guy you're playing house with for example, he will get tired of you, and your smart mouth, and throw you out like garbage. You know no one else could really want you." Tears start to sting the backs of my eyes as he says this. I take a deep breath and force them back, I can't let him upset me.
"Charlie loves me Chuck, and I love him too. I think it's you who are pretending. You left me to die in that alley three years ago. If you loved me you wouldn't have done that to me, you wouldn't have done anything to hurt me." His face gets red, and he flies back across the room and wraps his hand in my hair pulling back, forcing me to look up at him. I close my eyes and try to adjust to the pain, but that just makes him pull harder. A tear escapes my eye, and he smiles.
"I do these things because I love you. I'm just trying to make you a better version of yourself, don't you see that? You were always getting attention from other men, always flaunting their affections in front of me. How did you expect me to react to that?" A knock on the door interrupts his ridiculous explanation. We both freeze, and he looks toward the front entrance.
"Police, open up." Oh no. His face gets instantly red, and his other hand comes up to my throat, pressing down on my windpipe.
"You called the police? You're really going to regret that." He lets go of my hair and slaps me across the face, instantly making me dizzy. He throws me onto the floor and I try to get away, but he crawls on top of me, pinning me down. I have to scream, there's no other way to get out of this.
"Chuck please, I didn't call them. I swear it wasn't me!" He punches me in the side of the face, and I can already feel my eye starting to swell. He takes both hands and wraps them around my neck, squeezing as hard as he can.
"Please Chuck." I can barely breath, and the words come out as a garbled mess. Suddenly he is knocked off me. I take a few deep breaths, trying to regain full consciousness, and turn my head to the side. Jake has tackled Chuck onto the floor and is fighting to hold him down. Three police officers run around me, while another stops to help me up off the floor.
"Ma'am are you alright? Can you speak?" My head flops from side to side as I try to comprehend what is actually going on. Jake is by my side now, holding me close to him, while the officer calls for an ambulance.
"It's going to be ok Jocelyn. I'm so sorry I didn't come out sooner, but I didn't know he would hurt you." I look up at him, and everything starts to haze in and out. I know I'm going to pass out soon.
"Jake? Where's Charlie?" He looks around, and then his eyes seem to land on something. He picks me up from the floor and walks me across the room.
"Here, take her. She's asking for you." I feel myself being switched into someone else's arms. I take a deep breathe as I'm squished to his chest, and I know it's Charlie.
"Baby, are you ok? Oh my god, your eye, it's going to be alright. The ambulance is on its way." I look up at him, but he is watching something else. I follow his gaze, and see the police have Chuck handcuffed, and are saying something to him, but he isn't listening. He's watching me. They start walking him out of the room, but he stops in front of me. I push myself further into Charlie's arms, trying to get away from him.
"He's pretending Jocelyn. He did this to keep us apart. You'll see someday, he doesn't actually care, and when you do, I'll be there waiting for you." I just turn my face into Charlie's chest and hide from him.
"You will never see her again." Charlie's voice is so quiet, but I know Chuck heard him. I hear the police force Chuck forward, and out of the apartment. Charlie sits on the couch with me still in his arms, and puts one hand on my face. I look up at him, but everything is getting fuzzy again.
"Baby, can you say something?" Can I say something? I don't really know, but I try.
"I'm so sorry Charlie." He kisses my forehead, and I close my eyes, trying to stay awake. Someone sits beside us, but I don't have the energy to look and see who it is.
"How is she?" Jake. I wonder if he's the one who called the cops.
"She will be ok, but I'm more curious about you. How could you let this happen? You let her be alone with him, why?" Charlie doesn't sound angry, more disappointed. I hear Jake sigh, and I wish I could stick up for him, but nothing comes out of my mouth.
"She told me to hide. I didn't want too, I wanted to protect her, but she asked me to trust her so I did. I did however call the cops right away, but they were already on their way, I'm assuming you called them before me. I stood in the hallway, and just listened. She said she was going to make him leave, but it didn't go that way. He kept saying how she was his, and that no one could ever love someone like her so she needed to come home to him. It was insane, but I stayed quiet because nothing had happened. Then I heard her start screaming after the police knocked. That's when I came in and tackled him." Charlie hugs me closer to him. I try to look up at him, but as soon as I move my head, everything goes black.
I open my eyes, and the light is too bright. I try to pick my hand up, but my arm feels like it weighs 200 pounds, and it doesn't want to move.
"Where am I?" I try to sit up, but again, I'm stuck down. I hear a chair squeak across the floor, and then I see Charlie, standing above me.
"Oh thank god, Jocelyn. You scared the crap out of me." What?
"Charlie, where are we? What happened?" I try to remember, but everything is a blur.
"Baby, you passed out. You've been unconscious for two hours. The doctor said it was probably the stress of what happened. Your parents are on their way, and Chuck is in jail." Chuck? Then I remember, and the memory hits me like a wave. A small sob escapes my lips, and Charlie leans down to kiss my forehead. He puts his palm on my cheek and I lean into it, needing his touch now more than ever.
"I'm so sorry Charlie. I should never have gone to see Jake. You were right, he is trouble. He didn't even give me any answers, he just made everything worse." Charlie sits on the side of my bed and looks down into my face.
"How did he make things worse baby, what did he do?" Suddenly I am so angry. Jake ruined my whole life, and then he had the nerve to do what he did.
"He asked me to marry him." Charlie's face scrunches up, and he looks across the room. When I turn my head to follow his gaze, I see Jake sitting in the corner watching us.
"You asked her to marry you? Are you insane?" Charlie is livid, but he doesn't move from my side. I see Jake's face get red, and I know he's embarrassed.
"Yes, I did. It obviously didn't go the way I planned though. Jocelyn, I owe you an apology, and you too Charlie." He stands from his seat, and walks to the opposite side of the bed from Charlie. He takes my hand, and even though my better judgement says not to, I wrap my fingers in his.
"Jocelyn, I never should have told Kat the way I did, and I never should have proposed today. I guess I just wanted so badly for you to feel the same way I did, that I let it cloud my judgement. I won't pursue you anymore, I can see now that you are where you belong when you're with him. Charlie, I'm sorry about the fight last week, and I'm sorry for all the constant messages. I promise, from now on, she will get nothing but friendship from me." Charlie reaches across me to shake Jake's hand and I smile as best as I can.
"I appreciate that. Thank you." I can't believe Charlie let it go that easy, but I'm happy he did.
"Thank you Jake. You will always be special to me. I never wanted to cut you out of my life, we've been through to much together. Friends?" He smiles down at me, and gives my hand a light squeeze.
"Friends sounds great Jocelyn." Before anyone can say anything else, my parents burst into the room.
"Jocelyn are you alright? What happened Charlie, where's the doctor?" My mom is hysterically crying, and my dad pulls Charlie from the bed so she can sit down next to me.
"I'm fine mom. Everything is going to be ok now." Jake steps away, and when I turn my head my brothers and sister are standing next to me.
"What are you guys doing here?" They all look down at me and smile. Todd, the second oldest, is the first to speak.
"Mom called us and told us what happened, and we weren't not going to come. Are you feeling ok?" I try to sit up, but my muscles won't work properly for some reason so Jeff, the youngest of us, pushes a button and my bed starts to rise up.
"Thanks Jeff. Yes I'm feeling ok. Just really sore, and none of my muscles seem to be working at the moment." My sister, Ryan, looks up at an IV bag hanging above me and laughs.
"That's because you've got some wicked pain meds running through your veins right now." What? I look up at the IV bag, and follow the tubing down to my hand.
"Oh, I didn't know that. That makes more sense." All three of them laugh at me, and I start to feel instantly better. A young doctor comes in with a clipboard and stands at the foot of my bed.
"Well look who decided to wake up. How are you feeling Jocelyn?"
"I'm feeling ok, just a little sore, and I'm having some trouble moving around." He smiles at me.
"Well we did give you a pretty strong sedative, and also a narcotic pain medicine, so that's to be expected. You'll be sore for a few days, but there's no internal bleeding, no damage to your windpipe, and no head trauma. You will, however, have some pretty gnarly bruises for a couple weeks, but as soon as you're feeling up to it, you can go home." My mom starts sobbing again, and my dad wraps his arms around her shoulders.
"Thank you doctor." The man nods at my dad, and heads out of the room, leaving all of us alone. Charlie stands at the end of my bed and touches my foot.
"Are you ready to go home baby?" I smile at him, but my dad scoffs.
"She is not going back with you. Look what happened to her today. You told me you were going to keep her safe, and yet here she is." He has his arms folded over his chest, and he is seething mad. I swear I can almost see the anger coming off of him.
"Sir with all due respect, Jocelyn does live with me. No I wasn't with her, but that's because she was at work." I feel so bad, and I jump in trying to save Charlie from my dad.
"Daddy, Charlie didn't cause this, I did. I was supposed to wait at my office for him to come and have lunch with me, but I left. That's why Chuck found me, not because of something Charlie did or didn't do." He looks down at me and his expression softens. My mom takes my dad's hand and looks from me to him.
"Honey, this is not your fault. Anthony it isn't anyone's fault. We knew Chuck was in town, and Charlie did everything he could do protect Jocelyn. She has a home to go back too, and we need to let her do that. She isn't a little girl anymore." Todd starts laughing and everyone looks at him.
"Well she is still pretty little. Especially compared to the mammoth over here." He points a thumb at Charlie, and Jeff and Ryan double over in laughter. Charlie looks at me and smiles, obviously enjoying listening to my brother poke fun at me.
"For goodness sake, can't we go one day without a short joke?" I'm trying to be mad, but it's impossible right now. About an hour later a nurse comes in and discharges me. They make me sit in a wheelchair, and I pout the entire way out to Charlie's car.
"Charlie this is stupid, let me walk." He laughs behind me and stops for only a second so he can kiss the top of my head.
"No baby. It's either this, or I can carry you to the car. Which would be less embarrassing?" I groan, because he knows I would rather not be held like a baby in front of my family, so I just cross my arms, and throw a silent fit about having to be pushed in this dumb chair.
We get back to Charlie's house, and he orders pizza because everyone plans to stay for dinner. Jake came with us, and I'm happy about them getting along, but I never expected Charlie to invite him over to our house. My feet never touch the floor, much to my disdain, because Charlie refuses to let me walk for fear of hurting myself. I roll my eyes so many times, I'm surprised I'm not dizzy yet. He brings me in and sets me on the couch, while everyone else gathers in the kitchen. I'm not sure why he left me in here by myself, but I'm starting to get angry about it. Finally I hear someone walking in, and I turn myself around on the couch and tears instantly start falling from my eyes.
"Jocelyn, are you ok? Jake called us, and we got here as soon as we could." Cayla rushes to me and wraps me into a tight hug. She holds my face in her hands, examining me, I try to stay calm but I can't help it, and I sob into her shoulder. After a minute, I force myself to take a deep breath and pull away from her. Kathryn is standing a few feet away from me, and has her arms crossed over her chest.
"I'm fine Cayla, just a little sore. I've missed you guys so much, but why are you here? I never expected to hear from you again." My tears threaten again, but I take another deep breath and stop them. Kat sits on the couch opposite me, and runs her hands through her hair.
"Jocelyn, we were always going to talk to you again, but I needed some time. I'm glad you're ok though." I half smile at her and wipe my face.
"You can take as much time as you need Kat. What I did was really bad, and I'm so sorry." Her face scrunches up as though she's in deep thought, and then she lets out a long sigh.
"Why did you do it Jocelyn? Jake told me most of it, when it started, and things like that, but what I can't figure out is why you did it? You obviously never had any feelings for him, not the way he had for you, so I know it wasn't that. Can you please try to make me understand." I look down at my hands, and Cayla goes to sit with Kat on the other couch. I knew this day would come, but that doesn't mean I was ready to talk about it.
"Well, I did it to stay in control. The guy who attacked me today is my ex. We were together five years, and it was a very abusive relationship. He almost killed me once, but I survived and moved here, and met you guys. Kat, I know your affinity for gossip, and I was so desperate to keep my life a secret, so I needed to know what and how much you were telling people. When you started dating Jake, it became clear to me that you were telling him everything, but I needed to know exactly what. So I went to his apartment one night, about three months after you started dating, and seduced him. That's how it went from then on; I would go see him once or twice a week, and he would fill me in on everything you had told him about me, and I would pay for it with sex. I thought we were just friends, I thought it was all just some sort of transaction, but then last week he asked to spend more time together, and then today he proposed, and I'm not really sure where things got messed up." I stop suddenly because Kathryn is sobbing.
"Kat, I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt in all this. I really thought one day he and I would just stop, but.." she puts a hand up and cuts me off.
"He proposed to you today?" Oh crap, did I say that? I never wanted her to find out about that. I look down at my hands again and just nod.
"Was it a white gold band with a single diamond?" I look up at her confused.
"Yes, how did you know?" A few more tears stream down her cheeks, but she wipes them away quickly.
"I found that ring last week on Friday. I went over there, and he had a beautiful table set up, and flowers everywhere. He told me he was going to surprise me, but then after my shower I heard him on the phone with someone apologizing about me being over there, and making a promise to reschedule. I sat on the bed, and that's when I saw the ring box on the night stand. For a second I really thought he was going to ask me, but he bought it for you." My own tears start coming now, and I wrap my arms around myself.
"I am so sorry. You will never know, how much I regret this." She just sighs and smooths her hair from her face.
"Jocelyn, I know you're sorry. If I'm being honest though, I think you may have done me a favor, but I'm going to need a little more time before I can trust you again. Can you give me that?" I smile, and even though it hurts, I stand and walk across the room to hug them both.
"Take all the time you need Kat, you too Cayla. I know what I did was really bad, but nothing could be worse than losing the two of you." We all stand there for a second in our awkward hug, but then Charlie walks into the room and scares me half to death.
"Well, this seems to have gone better than I could have expected. Baby, are you hungry? The food is here." I turn around, and look at him.
"Charlie, did you set this up?" He gives me a shy smile and nods.
"You've been so depressed lately, and I knew it was because you lost your friends. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I had Jake call them over, and I asked them to let you explain." I run over and jump into his arms, barely letting him finish. He picks me up and holds me to his chest, nuzzling into my hair.
"Thank you Charlie, you will never know how much this means to me." He kisses the side of my head, and laughs.
"I would do anything for you baby, I love you." I look up into his beautiful face, and kiss his nose.
"I love you too." I hear Cayla and Kat giggle in the corner, but then I hear another voice.
"Seriously, why is it every time I walk into a room, you two are doing something gross?" I look over Charlie's shoulder and Derrick is standing there grinning at us. Charlie puts me down and I give Derrick a hug. He seems surprised for a second, but then hugs me back.
"Sorry Derrick, like I said your brother is just kind of irresistible." He just rolls his eyes and laughs at me.
"Well Charlie, I think I may just steal your girl. Maybe then I can get some love too." He scoops me up from the floor and carries me into the kitchen where everyone is waiting for us. Charlie and the girls follow us in, and we all get settled to eat. After dinner, Charlie makes a fire in the backyard and we all shuffle out to enjoy the evening. I look around at my family, and my heart is so full. My gaze lands on Derrick, and suddenly I want to cry again. He is huddled in a corner talking to Kat, and she is just staring up at him, starry eyed. I lean into Charlie and whisper in his ear.
"Looks like your brother may have found a girl to bring home to your mom after all." He finally sees his brother and starts to laugh.
"I think you may be right. He's never talked to a woman for more than five minutes before." I stand from my chair and Charlie opens his arms, gladly letting me sit in his lap.
"I love you Charlie. I'm so sorry, about today." His brow furrows and he looks confused.
"Why are you sorry baby?" Suddenly I'm embarrassed and I start twisting my hair in my fingers.
"Well, because I did exactly what you told me not to do, and look what happened. You told me not to go see Jake, but I did it anyway, and I ended up in the hospital. I guess I need to stop being so petulant and maybe start listening to you." He laughs and kisses my cheek.
"Baby, I should have let you go over there. You were right, you did deserve answers. I do wish you would have talked to me more about it, and then I could have taken you there, but you're ok and that's all that matters. Maybe if I had been there with you, he wouldn't have proposed." He rolls his eyes, and I can't help but laugh.
"Yeah, I never saw that coming."
"I'm just sorry he beat me to it." I look down at Charlie, and my jaw hits the floor.
"What?" He smiles and rub his nose against mine.
"Don't worry, I'm not doing it now, but you can't tell me you thought we were headed in a different direction." He winks at me. This is exactly what he said when he asked me to move in, but before I can answer, Cayla comes and grabs me, and pulls me into another conversation. I'm barely listening though because all I can think about is Charlie, telling me he wants to marry me.