Finding the Light

The Second Day

I wake up in a cold sweat. The clock says it's 8:00 am. Last night was strange, and I can't really believe it wasn't all a dream. That kiss was something I never thought would happen. I close my eyes and the whole scene comes back to me in waves.
Charlie grabs my waist and pulls me to him. I brace myself on his strong arms, and lean back. He looks into my eyes and says "I think we're going to do just fine." He pushes his mouth onto mine, and I melt against him. It is like nothing I've ever felt before. An electricity pulses through me, and I forget where I am. I open my mouth and his tongue meets mine. I wrap my arms further around him, and he tightens his grip on me. I'm losing myself in him and I need more. I never want to stop doing this, I want to kiss this man like this forever. He moves from my lips, and takes a fistful of my hair and gently tugs my head back. He starts planting soft kisses on the underside of my jaw. I moan and he whispers my name. I can feel his erection pushing into me. He pulls me closer to him. I need more of this, but I need to get away. Something is telling me to run, but my body is still as stone.
I'm woken from my day dream when my phone pings. It's Charlie. My sweats return, and I don't know what to do. Last night was a mistake; I shouldn't have let things go so far. I cannot see him again, but my curiosity gets the better of me and I look at the message.
I'm sorry if last night was too intense. We can take things slower. Meet me tonight for dinner. We can talk.
I take a deep breath, and realize that I do want to go. But I can't. I felt something I've never felt when he kissed me, and I don't like the way my body responds to him. I felt so out of control; so vulnerable? I haven't felt that way in years. Not since that night that I knocked on my parents door after I ran from Chuck. No I will not see him again. That one kiss was enough. I shake my head to clear away my thoughts of him and head to the shower. I didn't work yesterday so I need to get some chapters done today. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and finalize my decision to never see Charlie again.
I've read through half of the manuscript and it's no good. I make a note of rejection on the front, and toss it back in my bag. The one I approved is in there as well, with all my notes for the meeting tomorrow. I check the clock and it's just after 4:00. I've been sitting in that chair far to long and my muscles are stiff. I stretch my arms and then stand to stretch out my back. I haven't seen Cayla or Katherine today so I walk downstairs to see what they are up too. When I make it down the hall, I hear both girls giggling, but there's another voice as well. When I turn the corner I freeze immediately and feel light headed. Charlie is sitting here, in my living room, talking to my roommates. When he sees me that sweet smiles lights up his face. I suddenly feel self conscious. I have no makeup on and I'm still in my pajamas. He stands up and takes a step toward me, and instinctively I take a step back. His smile fades and he looks almost hurt.
"Hi Jocelyn. I know it must seem strange me just showing up here, but you didn't text me back this morning, and I wanted to see if you were hungry. Can we get some dinner?"
"How do you know where I live?" It's out of my mouth before I even realize I had said anything. Both Cayla and Kat are watching us with almost starstruck looks on their faces. I ignore them and focus on what's going on in front of me. Charlie is in my house. I've never told him where I live, and I know that for a fact because I've had two conversations with him. This is a huge red flag, and I need him to leave. Now. His frown deepens.
"Brandon. After you ran off last night, I was worried about you. And when you didn't text me back this morning I asked if he knew where you lived so I could come by and talk to you." He shrugs his shoulders as if this is the most normal thing that has ever happened. Cayla finally speaks and she sounds very uncomfortable when she does.
"Charlie, would you like some tea?" He smiles politely and says sure, and Cayla hooks my arm as she walks out of the room.
"Great we will be right back with it." Cayla and I make our way to the kitchen across the hall. I am so angry. I can feel that my face is flushed, and I think I might actually cry. I knew I couldn't be near Charlie, but I never thought I'd have to move. If he can find out where I live so easily, then who's to say it wouldn't be so easy for someone else. I really love this place, and I love my friends and my job, but he's ruined all of that for me now. Once Cayla and I are in the kitchen she turns to me and puts her hands on my shoulders.
"Ok, we all know that you kissed him last night, literally all of us saw it. It seemed like you were totally into it, but if you want me to get rid of him then just say the word." She is dead serious. I know she would kick him out without asking why, because that's what kind of friend she is. I think about her request and decide that no, I need to take care of this myself.
"No it's alright. I can get rid of him. I just can't believe that he found out where we live. That is actually kind of scaring me." Cayla sighs and turns toward the counter. She starts filling up the kettle with water. I had forgotten that she offered to make tea. She puts the kettle onto the burner then turns to face me again.
"Honestly Jocelyn, he seems to be really into you. When you ran out of the house last night and walked the six miles home I was very concerned. But he came in and was so confused and worried. He looked kind of like a lost puppy. Do you want my advice?" She is watching me closer now. Do I want her advice? If this were anyone else I would say no. But she does always have my best interest in mind.
"Sure."
"OK, I think you should go to dinner with him." I look at her like she's grown three heads when she puts her hands up and tries to explain.
"I know that it's strange that he found your address and came here, but it's also kind of sweet. He'd been here less than five minutes before you walked downstairs, and all he could talk about was you. When we told him you were working and that we could go get you, he asked us to wait. He wanted to ask us questions about you, where you like to eat out, what movies you like, and he said you mentioned working in publishing, so he even asked what kind of books you enjoyed. He just seems to want to be around you, and I know that you're not used to this, but maybe you could get used to it. Just go to dinner with him tonight, and if it doesn't go well, then I will never let him near you again."
I'm so confused. My head is screaming at me to stay away from this man. Find another apartment, and move out tomorrow. But there's another voice, a tiny quiet voice somewhere deep in my mind telling me that maybe it would be nice to have dinner with him. That kiss was a lot, but it was also something I feel like I needed. I felt safe with him holding me like that. However, I also felt like I was floating in open water. The kettle whistling pulls me out of my thoughts and suddenly I have a decision.
"OK fine, I will have dinner with him tonight. But if this goes badly, you owe me." Cayla's face lights up with a mega watt smile. She pulls the whistling kettle off the stove and puts it, along with four mugs, tea bags, sugar and milk onto a serving tray.
"I don't think you're going to regret this." She says as she starts back into the living room. I follow her, and I start to wonder if I've made the right decision. This dinner could lead to something more. What if this guy is a stalker. I mean he found out where I live, for heaven's sake. But then I think about what Cayla said, about him looking lost after I left and my heart smiles a little.
"OK Charlie, how do you take your tea?" Cayla looks at him with a sweet smile as she sets the tray down.
"Black is fine, thank you." Charlie smiles, but he is looking right at me. Cayla pours everyone a cup and I take a seat opposite of Charlie. I allow myself to actually look at him. He looks uncomfortable, but it might be because the chair he's sitting in is much to small for him. His knees are almost touching his chest. He also seems to be sweating? Is he nervous? He looks sexy like this. OK whoa. I need to control myself. I take a deep breath and a sip of my tea. The room is silent and it's becoming awkward. Charlie is still starring at me, and I realize that both Cayla and Katherine are as well. I've never seen Katherine speechless before, but she seems to be now. I guess they're all waiting for me to say something.
"I need a few minutes to get dressed, and then I guess we can go to dinner Charlie." His face lights up and he lets out a sigh.
"OK great, take as much time as you need."
"Cayla, Katherine can you come upstairs with me please." I've no intention of picking out my outfit alone, and these two got me into this. Well not really Katherine, but she is helpful when it comes to fashion. We leave Charlie sitting in his awkward position alone in the living room.
As soon as we're safely behind the closed door in my bedroom Katherine nearly shrieks.
"OK what is going on? You two were all over each other last night, then you just vanished, and now he shows up at our house and you never told him where we live? Is this some kind of stalker situation or a real life rom-com." I knew she would have something to say about all this.
"First of all this is not a rom-com, it is probably a stalker situation. That is why I am going to text you both as soon as we get to the restaurant and when we are on our way home. I am not going to be left completely alone with this man. This is crazy. I shouldn't go should I?"
"Are you kidding me? Jocelyn of course you should go! This man is obviously nuts about you. This could be your chance at happily-ever-after." Katherine is always about these "fairytale" endings and it is just bizarre to me. First of all, happy endings don't exist, and second she can't even get Jake to be her boyfriend.
"OK Katherine, don't get ahead of yourself. This is one date. That's all. It means nothing"
"Well it didn't look like nothing last night when you two were on the back porch." Katherine looks at me with an infuriating smirk on her face. She is starting to make me angry. She laughs before she walks to my closet and starts going through my clothes. I roll my eyes, and sit down at my desk and try to do something with my face. Cayla starts working on brushing my hair, and I feel my heart swell a little. I realize that even though I'm not sure about this date, I do love my friends, and I don't want to leave them. I have to find a way to stay here.
Thirty minutes later, I am dressed in one of Katherine's skin tight black dresses. I feel really exposed, because this dress is so short. I may be thin, but I am curvy. I'm afraid something is going to pop out. My long black hair is pulled to the side with loose waves in it. And I'm in my most comfortable black heels. I still don't understand why I couldn't wear one of my own dresses, but Katherine was not satisfied with anything I tried on. I take one last look in the mirror, and Cayla giggles.
"I look ridiculous don't I?" I am so self conscious, and I want to change immediately.
"No Jocelyn, in fact I have never seen you look like this. You look totally hot!" Cayla says this so excitedly and Katherine laughs and nods in agreement. I look at myself again, and I do look slightly different. My cheeks are flushed, and my eyes seem brighter somehow? I shake my head slightly and sigh.
"Well I guess we shouldn't keep our guest waiting any longer, and the faster I get this date started, the sooner it can end."
"Or maybe it will last all night, who knows." Katherine looks at me with a dangerous smile, and Cayla laughs again. I ignore them both and walk down the steps.
When I walk into the living room Charlie is looking out the bay window at the trees in front of the house. I feel that familiar electricity when I see him, and I think he feels it too because he turns around as soon as I walk into the room. That, or he heard my shoes on the stairs. I don't know which is true, but the look on his face makes it seem that he is happy to see me. He smiles again, but it is a new kind of smile; one I haven't seen from him yet. I can't help it when my own smile takes over my face. It seems like forever when he finally speaks.
"Wow, Jocelyn you look beautiful." I can hear Kat and Cayla giggle from the top of the stairs and I know they are eaves dropping. I internally roll my eyes, because what are we 12? I focus my attention back to Charlie.
"Thank you, sorry if it took me too long to get ready."
"No don't apologize, it was well worth the wait. So are you hungry?" He seems excited, and there's something else there too, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is.
"Yes, I am actually. I haven't had anything to eat all day." Once the words are out of my mouth, I realize how true they are. I haven't eaten all day, and I am starving.
"Good I know just the place." Charlie walks toward me and holds his hand out for me to take. Then he calls up the stairs.
"Don't wait up girls." And my roommates giggle again. I take his hand and it feels like my body temperature goes up 10 degrees, but it feels right, comfortable almost.
We walk outside to his waiting car that is parked just down the street, about half a block, and I feel a pang of disappointment when he lets go of my hand, but I dismiss it quickly. He opens the car door for me and I slide in. As he is walking around the car I take these few seconds I have to calm myself. I don't know where we are going, but I have my phone, and also pepper spray in my purse. I need to find out where he is taking me so I can tell Cayla and Kat.
"So where exactly are we going?" He starts the car and smiles.
"It's a surprise actually. I've been planning this all day, so I hope you like it." He winks at me, puts the car in gear and pulls away from the curb.
"What do you mean you've been planning this all day? How did you know I would agree to come with you?" This is all too weird and I'm starting to regret leaving the house with him.
"Well I didn't but I hoped you would. Jocelyn, I've been really worried about you since our kiss last night. You were so into it, and I could tell you wanted to keep going, but then you just pulled away, and left. I tried to run after you, but usually when a girl stops and runs away, that means don't follow. So I didn't. But I thought about you all night."
Well at least he knows when no means no. That calms my anxiety a little. But only a little. I do feel bad for running away. I was enjoying the kiss, and I did want to go further, but I got spooked. So I did what I always do, and I took off.
"I'm really sorry about running away like that. I guess the whole situation took me off guard. First of all, I only met you yesterday, and then your strange proposal, and of course the kiss. I was just overwhelmed. I don't deal well with things like that, and I just needed some space."
"Jocelyn, I never want you to feel uncomfortable when we're together. I want you to enjoy yourself, and be happy. I know that we've only just met, and my arrangement idea is strange, yes, but I want to spend more time with you. And since neither of us 'date' I thought this would be the next best thing."
I think about that for a second. I don't want to date Charlie, but I do find myself drawn to him for some strange reason.
"OK Charlie, we can try it. But lets at least wait until we've known each other about a week maybe? Before we jump right into bed. I know nothing about you, and I just think that would be the best course of action. Who knows after tonight, you may never want to see me again." I'm happy with this arrangement. I'm not sure why I am, but it seems ok. Besides, after tonight, if my suspicions about him being a creep prove to be true, then I can call the whole thing off and all I've wasted is a kiss.
"A week huh? How about six days, which puts us at Saturday next weekend?"
"Alright. Only if tonight goes well. Uh Charlie, where are we?" I realize that we've been lost in our conversation and I have no idea where we are. We aren't downtown, we're in a neighborhood. One I've never seen before. I start to panic a little and scoot closer to my door.
"Oh well, I guess I should have mentioned that we're not going to a restaurant. We're going to my house."
OK now I'm really panicking. I am definitely not ok with this. I thought we would be in public. Safe, with other people around.
"Why are we going to your house? I don't know if I'm ok with that." I reach into my purse and grab my phone, and also note where exactly the pepper spray can is. I send a quick text to Cayla.
BIG PROBLEM, CHARLIE IS TAKING ME TO HIS HOUSE, NOT A RESTAURANT. WHAT DO I DO???
"I promise Jocelyn, I'm not going to try anything weird, and if you want to leave I will take you right home. I just thought it would be nice if I cooked for you. I don't think a public restaurant is the easiest place for people to get to know each other. It's to loud, and there's no privacy."
I start taking note of street names because I need to be able to send an address to Cayla when we get there just in case I need her to rescue me. My phone vibrates with her reply.
It's going to be ok, just let me know his address and if you need me I will be there as soon as I can. If anything strange happens let me know.
Wow, some help that is. We've already been driving for 15 minutes, and she doesn't know where she's going so it will take her even longer to get to me. We pull onto a side road, and I barely catch the sign that says 'HUNTER ST' on it as we pass. It's a long dirt road, and there are trees everywhere.
"Where are we Charlie, this looks like you're taking me to the middle of nowhere."
"I live in the woods. It's only a couple miles out of the neighborhood we just drove through. But I don't like neighbors. I enjoy being able to hear the birds in the morning instead of cars and kids getting on the bus. My house is just down this path."
He lives in the woods and enjoys hearing the birds in the morning? Well he just described my perfect living situation, but that doesn't mean I'm anymore comfortable with this than I was a moment ago. Just as I'm thinking that this road will never end, a beautiful house comes into view. I stifle a gasp and take in my surroundings. His house is breathtaking. It's simple but ornate at the same time somehow. There is a wrap around porch, and a swing hanging from the right side. Flowers and small bushes litter the front garden and there's light posts lining the path to the front door. If someone were to ask me what my dream house was, this would be it. He's parking the car, and I can't help myself.
"Charlie this house is beautiful. Probably the most beautiful house I've ever seen." He smiles and seems pleased with my compliment.
"Thank you, I built it myself actually." This surprises me. I never expected him to be the type who could build a house. He comes around to my side of the car and opens my door. Taking my hand he leads me up the path to the front door. As he puts the key in, a dog barks.
"Oh crap, you're not allergic to dogs are you? Or afraid of dogs?"
"No I love dogs." He opens the door and a giant rushes toward us. He doesn't jump or growl, instead he immediately nuzzles at Charlie's legs and then sits in front of me. He is so cute, but he is large. It makes sense that a man as big as Charlie would have a giant dog. I pet his head and he licks my palm.
"He's a Great Dane, bloodhound mix, he's not even full grown yet."
Charlie must have sensed that I was wondering what kind of dog he was.
"He's not full grown yet? He's almost as tall as me?" I'm not the tallest person, as I only stand at 5'2" but this dog's head literally stops at my chest.
"He is really big, the vet thinks he will only grow another couple inches, but Grizzly is a gentle giant." Charlie bends down and the dog runs into his arms and licks his face. I can't help my smile and I laugh at the two of them. It is such a cute scene and all of my discomfort fades away.
"Would you like to see the rest of the house?" Charlie opens the front door again, and Grizzly runs outside. I wonder for a second if he will run off and get lost.
"I would love too." Charlie smiles and leads me through the front hallway and we walk into a sitting room. It has a large sofa and two chairs in the middle of the room. A giant fireplace is the centerpiece and gives everything a cozy feel. He then leads me down the hall a little further and opens a glass door. The office we walk into is clean and simple. There is a single desk in the left corner in front of the one large window.
"What do you do Charlie? You said you built this house right?"
"Yes. I'm an architect actually. I design homes for people. I don't build other people's houses, but I wanted to build my own. So that's what I did. Are you hungry? I should probably start dinner."
"I am actually, what are you going to make?" Right on cue my stomach growls and I put my hand over it. Charlie laughs but doesn't say anything.
"Well I think just something simple. Do you eat chicken?"
"I do, that sounds lovely. Thank you."
We walk into the kitchen and again my breath is taken away by the similarities in our taste. The kitchen has dark cabinets, and open shelves. It seems to me that we share a brain when it comes to interior design. I sit on one of the stools at the island as he starts getting things out of the fridge. He pulls out two chicken breasts and some asparagus and lays them on the counter. He turns on the stove, and lays the asparagus into the pan and pours on some oil and salt. Next he seasons the chicken with some spices and he throws that on top of the greens.
"Charlie I think we should talk some more about this arrangement you've proposed. We need to know a little more about each other before we do this."
He adds some pepper to the pan and the aroma of the food fills the kitchen.
"Of course we can talk more. What would you like to know?"
"Why don't you believe in love?"
"Who says I don't believe in love?"
"Well you did. Last night you said that you 'don't date' and 'don't believe there is one person for everyone'. So I just assumed that meant you don't believe in love."
He frowns and turns back to the stove to check on the chicken. He pulls out plates and silverware before he speaks.
"It's not that I don't believe in love, it's that I don't believe it's as common as people think. The only people I've ever seen truly in love, were my grandparents. My own parents went through a nasty divorce when I was 12 and it made me realize that love just doesn't really happen." So this is why Charlie is the way he is. His parents messed him up, just like most parents do.
"Why don't you date? You said you love you and don't need anyone else to do it too. Why is that?" I'm surprised by his question but I did say that last night. I can't believe that I told him that. Why am I so open with this man?
"Well it's complicated, and a long story." He pulls the food off the stove and fixes our plates. He slides mine across the island and pours a glass of wine and offers it to me.
"Well I like stories, and we do have all night. Plus you said you wanted to get to know each other better."
I decide to be honest with him. Why not? It's something I wouldn't normally do, but I want to tell him. I'm just not sure why.
"I was in an abusive relationship. For five years. I was 16 when it started. When I got out I made a promise to myself that I would never let another man have that power over me."
Charlie drops the fork he had half way to his mouth.
"Jocelyn that is awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"I appreciate the sentiment, but being sorry about it doesn't change that it happened. We all have a past, mine just happens to kind of suck." I shrug my shoulders and take a bite of food. The chicken is delicious. Charlie is still looking at me with those sad eyes and I can't take it anymore.
"Let's change the subject. This arrangement that you want. How exactly would it work?"
He sighs and takes a sip of wine before answering. I can tell he doesn't want to drop the subject, but I'm thankful that he does.
"Well it depends. The details will be easier to hash out once we actually know if we have any chemistry. But after our kiss last night I think we are going to have more than we know what to do with." He winks at me and I flush. I want to be close to him. Just hearing him talk about the kiss is making me warm.
"That kiss was something. But I'm not sure it's a testament to how we will do in bed together." I squeeze my thighs together trying to relieve some of the tension I'm feeling.
"Well we could test the waters a little more? I know we said to give it a week before we had actual sex, but there are other things we could do." Charlie stands and slowly walks around the island toward me and I start to pant. He stops in front of me and puts his hand on my cheek. I lean into his palm and close my eyes. It's such a small gesture, but it makes me feel safe. When I open my eyes he's looking down at me.
"Are you going to kiss me again Charlie?" I ask playfully, but I'm also praying silently that he will.
"Would you like it if I did?" He takes another small step toward me.
"Yes." I stand to meet him, and he leans down to kiss me again. Once our lips touch I am lost once more. I grab onto him and pull him as close as I possibly can. I don't want to run this time. This time I want to be right where he has me. He moans as I grab his hair and pull his mouth further down to deepen the kiss. Suddenly his arm is below my backside, and he hoists me up onto the counter. I break the kiss for a moment to look at him. He is wide eyed and he's panting at me. He steps closer and pushes my thighs apart. I can feel his arousal through his jeans, and I know I'm soaking wet. The dress slides up my legs exposing me, and he looks down with a need in his eyes. I know what he's thinking, but I don't want his lips there, at least not quite yet. I pull him back to kiss me, and he eagerly obliges. He has one hand wrapped around my back and the other is resting on my thigh. He's waiting for me to say yes. I want him to touch me, so I push his hand up. He moans into my mouth when he touches me. I'm so wet, and only becoming more so as he palms me through my panties. I lean my head back and sigh. He steps back from me, and I feel a sudden emptiness when his hand is no longer on me.
"Can I take off your panties?"
My immediate thought is no, but I want his hands back on me as quickly as possible, and it would take me longer to get them off than it would him; so I break rule number one and nod my head. He grins, and his fingers find the outside of my thighs and he tucks his thumbs into either side of my lace underwear. I lift my bottom slightly off the counter so he can more easily remove them, and he tosses them on the floor next to us. He looks at me and licks his lips.
"Are you ok with this?"
"Yes, I want this. More than you know." He gives me a quick kiss on the nose and drops down in front of me. I open my thighs farther, wanting to give him complete access to me. He pulls me toward the edge of the counter, but holds onto me so I won't fall. He pushes my dress the rest of the way up, and starts kissing the tops of my thighs. His lips are so gentle against my skin, and goosebumps appear, making me even more sensitive. I shiver when he starts moving toward the center. He stops only for a second and then his mouth is on me. His tongue is gentle at first, but then he starts moving faster. I can feel myself being pushed toward the edge. I grab his hair and pull. He moans into me and sucks on the sensitive bud. I come undone. He doesn't stop, and my orgasm intensifies. I am completely at his mercy. As I start to come down from my high, Charlie kisses the sensitive skin gently all over; he kisses his way back to the tops of my thighs and all the way up to my stomach. He stands up, pulls me up to him and kisses me again. I can taste myself on him and it's hot enough that I am ready for more. I try to stop him from doing so, but he pulls away.
"You taste so sweet. I could do this all day." He slips a finger into me and I gasp.
"Charlie I don't want to stop. I want to keep going. I'm not going to run this time." His breath catches and he slides another finger inside of me.
"Jocelyn are you sure. You wanted to wait."
I did want to wait, but I need to be closer to him. I can't explain it, but I have a hunger that I feel only he can satisfy. I respond to his question by grabbing the sizable bulge in his pants. He sighs, and pushes into my hand.
"Can you take off your pants?" I ask. He pulls his fingers out of me and I frown at the emptiness I feel. He takes a step back and undoes the button on his jeans. He pulls his shirt off, and then slides his pants and boxers down to the floor and steps out. He is completely naked in front of me and he is beautiful. His chest is glistening with sweat, and I find myself reaching out to touch it. He comes closer to me so that I can reach him and he puts his palm against my cheek again.
"Do you want to go to the bedroom?"
"Yes please."
He picks me up again, and I wrap my legs around his waist to steady myself. One arm is behind my back and the other is holding onto my thigh to keep me in place. I hug myself to him and kiss him while he walks us out of the kitchen. He opens a door and flips a switch. He sets me on the bed and moves to take my dress off, but I tense.
"What's wrong?" He stills and looks at me with a frown.
"It's nothing. I just don't like when other people undress me. I'll take it off myself." I stand up and unzip the dress, and it falls to my feet. He reaches out to touch my breast, his eyes wide, but he stops again and looks to me for reassurance. I nod and he cups me and pulls me closer to him. I feel his erection touch my stomach and I look down. It is far larger than I thought it was going to be, and I wonder for a moment if this is even possible. I grab it and he moans through clenched teeth. I lay down on the bed and he climbs on top of me. He kisses me again, but I have to pull away as he slides into me. I let out a loud moan, and he stills.
"No please, I need more. I need you." I beg for him not to stop. The fullness I am feeling is pure bliss. He starts to slowly pump in and out. I wrap my legs back around his waist to pull him deeper into me. He buries his face in my neck and I wrap my arms around his back.
"Oh Jocelyn, you feel so good." I let out a cry of pleasure at his words and I feel my orgasm rip through me. Just as I let go, he comes undone inside me. He holds onto me even tighter pushing himself as deep into me as he can possibly go. He presses his forehead to mine as we both come down from our highs. After what feels like hours, he kisses my forehead then my nose, and slowly pulls out of me. I wince at the emptiness I feel with him gone. He lays down besides me and pulls me to his chest.
"That was incredible. You truly are amazing." He wraps a blanket around us and hugs me tight. I sigh, content in where I am; but I know that I cannot stay. However, I really do love being close to him in this way. He is so warm, and I feel safe. I decide to just wait a little while longer. After about five minutes, I hear his soft snores from behind me. He's fallen asleep. How am I going to get home? I don't want to wake him though. I will let him sleep for just a few minutes then he can take me home. I snuggle closer to him, and he lets out a happy sigh pulling me in tighter. This feels right somehow and I relax the rest of the way into his chest. Before I realize what is happening, I'm drifting off to sleep, breaking rule number 2.

Author's note:
Hey guys, I know this was a long chapter, but I felt it was important to really go in-depth with what Jocelyn was feeling. This was a huge step for her, and I really wanted to get inside her head a little bit more. Please leave a comment if you're enjoying the story I'd love to hear from you!