Finding the Light

Welcome to the Family

Something heavy is crushing me, and I'm having trouble breathing. I want so badly to get comfortable again and go back to sleep, but the need for a deep breath makes me try to roll over to my back. When I finally get some leverage, and turn over, I remember why I'm being crushed; I'm in bed with a giant. Charlie has himself sprawled out overtop of me, like a protective blanket. He is far to big to need held while he sleeps, but I can't help but giggle at the way he is clinging to me. We are both completely naked, opting to not get dressed after our bath last night, and only half of him is covered by the blanket, making my mouth instantly dry. I sit up a little to stretch my back and I reach my hand up to run my fingers through his messy hair. I love that he keeps it so long. It is incredibly thick and I notice a little bit of gray peeking through the black/brown mess. I continue pulling the knots out while I just admire him. His thick eyebrows make him look way more intimidating than he actually is, and his nose is slightly bent from being broken a couple years ago in a drunken fight. There is also a thin scar right below his left eye from a different fight when he was 16. I guess I should have predicted the tussle between him and Jake with as much as he apparently loves them. His full lips are slightly parted, and it almost looks like he is smiling in his sleep. He is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Once his hair is tangle free I run my fingers along the stubble on his face. His beard is almost black and very thick, but he keeps it trimmed enough that it doesn't bother me when we kiss. The sensation of my hand rubbing the tiny hairs must tickle because he starts to stir. He looks up at me and blinks a few times with a sleepy look in his eyes, and I start to draw circles on his back with my fingertips.
"Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?" He grins at me and kisses my bare chest, sending electric pulses through my whole body. I don't think I will ever get used to the feeling of his lips on me.
"I slept great, actually. Thank you for letting me stay, and thank you for being there for me last night." I realize just then that I didn't have a nightmare last night. I lean forward a little and kiss his forehead. He didn't have to ever talk to me again after finding out about me and Jake, let alone allow me to sleep at his house. I was so happy he was there though. I'm not sure what I would have done otherwise. He shifts slightly and props himself on his elbows so he is hovering over me, looking directly into my eyes.
"Baby, I will always be here for you when you need me. I'm so sorry that idiot friend of yours did what he did. If I would have known he was going to do something so stupid, I wouldn't have let him even see you. I wish I could take it all back for you." Jake really is an idiot. He had the best of both worlds; a committed girlfriend who was completely in love with him, as well as a secret mistress on the side, who was willing to do anything, absolutely anything he wanted her to, in order to keep her identity a secret. I roll my eyes at the thought of being with Jake at all.
"He is so stupid. I can't believe I wasted so much time with him." Charlie leans up and kisses my cheek.
"Well it's done now. Are you mad at me for hitting him and starting a fight?" He looks embarrassed, but truthfully I'm not angry at all. With the sheer size of him, Charlie probably could have done a lot more damage to Jake than he did. That's when I notice the slightly purple spot on his cheekbone. I rub my thumb over it, and he winces slightly, letting me know that Jake got at least one good hit in.
"I'm not mad at all. Actually it was kind of sexy, watching you defend me like that." His eyes darken at my words and he grins at me.
"Is that so? You enjoyed watching me rough him up a bit?" He leans down and bites my chest again, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. My hand goes to his back, and my nails dig in as he continues biting my already to sensitive skin, following each bite with a soft kiss. He continues his delicious assault on me until he makes it to my collarbone. Then he stops and rubs his nose against my jaw, making me shiver.
"I asked you a question baby." When the last word is out of his mouth, he clamps his teeth down on my neck making me cry out. He laughs a little and then pulls me down the bed, crawling over top of me.
"I think you're going to enjoy this too." He kisses me hard, his tongue easily working it's way around my mouth, making my thighs even more wet than they already were. He reaches a hand down and forces my legs apart, rubbing my sensitive skin with his fingertips. I push myself down trying to get more contact, but he pulls back from me slightly, and puts his fingers into his mouth. It is the hottest thing I have ever seen and I lick my lips as he sucks his finger. He pulls it out of his mouth and smiles down at me again.
"You are the most amazing woman I've ever met." I can feel his erection rubbing against my leg, so I reach down to grab it. He lets out a breath he was holding and starts moving his hips to the same rhythm of my hand, pumping slowly up and down.
"You've told me that before you know." I say. He kisses my nose and then moans as I grip him tighter.
"I know, but it's the truth. Are you ready for this?" He grins. I smirk at him, pulling on him even harder.
"More than you know." I breathe. He growls as he positions himself between my legs. I need this more than I've ever needed anything and I pull my knees back giving him complete access to all of me there is. He slides into me slowly and I roll my head back enjoying the fullness. He resumes his slow and merciless assault of bites and kisses along my jaw as he pushes himself as deep into me as he can possibly get.
"I need more Charlie, please." I beg. He moans into my shoulder, wrapping his fist in my hair.
"I'll give you whatever you want baby." He starts moving faster, and I rake my nails across his back, trying to get him even closer to me. I can feel my orgasm coming on, and I scream out his name just as the door to the bedroom opens. I don't really register what's going on until I hear a man laughing, and a woman singing. Charlie hears it too, and freezes before ripping himself out of me.
"Ow, Charlie what the hell?" When he pulled his hand from behind my head he took my hair with it, nearly yanking all of it out. I still hadn't fully realized what was happening, but Charlie was covering me with the blanket and someone was still laughing.
"Derrick, what the hell, get out of here!" Charlie is screaming at the people standing in the doorway, and I peek around his shoulder and see a man and a woman holding a cake. She is older, but beautiful. Her dark hair is cut crisp just above her shoulders, her blue eyes are shining in the morning light streaming through the windows, but they are open far to wide. She has a look of horror on her face, probably because she just walked in on me and Charlie in bed together. The man next to her is almost as large as Charlie, and they look very similar, but his hair is cropped military style, and he has a clean shaven face. His blue eyes are filled with tears from laughing at us. Then it hits me, this is Charlie's mother and brother. My face heats up and I suddenly can't breathe.
"Mom, please go wait in the kitchen. We will be out in a second." Oh god. This is not happening. I sit up and try to pull myself away from Charlie as she turns out of the room. The man is still standing in the doorway, starring at me with a weird smile on his face. Charlie looks from him to me, and then his face gets red and he shoves me back into the bed, covering me with his hands. The force knocks the wind out of me and I'm pissed.
"Why are you pushing me? Get off." Charlie looks down into my face, silently begging me not to move.
"Baby, please stay down. I'd rather you didn't give my brother a show." When I sat up the blanket fell off me, and my whole top half was exposed. I throw my hands over myself, realizing what I had done.
"Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed." I whisper to Charlie, but he must have heard because his brother laughs again and then I hear him speak for the first time.
"You definitely have nothing to be embarrassed about honey."
"Dude, not cool. Get out now!" Charlie yells at him again, and his brother finally concedes and walks out still laughing at us.
"Charlie I think I want to die now." I am so humiliated. Why does the universe hate me.
"Baby, it's going to be ok. I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I forgot they were coming over today." I sit back up and look at him, furious again.
"You knew they would be here today, and you still brought me here? Why would you do that?" How could be do that? He looks uncomfortable.
"Well, today is my birthday. I knew they would be here, but I didn't expect them to surprise me by waking me up. They weren't supposed to be here until this evening for dinner." I kiss his cheek, my anger suddenly gone.
"It's your birthday? I didn't know. Actually I don't even know how old you are." I laugh because we know absolutely nothing about each other.
"I'm 29 today, and I think that officially makes me an old man." He shrugs his shoulders, and I pull him down to kiss me. He happily returns the kiss, and before I know it, he is climbing back on top of me, trying to finish what we started when we woke up. I pull away from him, and he moves his mouth down to my chest, pulling my nipple between his teeth. It feels so good and I want to let him continue, but I know that we can't.
"Charlie, no we can't. Your mom and brother are in the kitchen, we need to get up and preferably get dressed." I say trying to pull away. He groans as he pulls himself away from me.
"Fine I guess you're right. I am going to kick Derrick's ass for interrupting us." He scowls at the mention of his brother and sits up in bed. I kiss his shoulder and wrap my arms around him.
"Don't worry babe, it's your birthday. I promise I'll take care of you later." I wink at him and stand up. He sighs and flops back onto the bed, defeated and clearly frustrated at being left alone. I run into the bathroom and hop into the shower. I rinse myself off and jump out as Charlie is coming in.
"Well I was going to join you, but I guess that's out of the question now." He jumps in the shower as I brush my teeth and hair trying to make myself look some what presentable. I go back into the bedroom and pull on some yoga pants and a t-shirt. I really wish I had something nicer to wear, but I thought I would be lounging around with Charlie all weekend, not trying to impress his mom. I sigh to myself as Charlie walks back into the room, with a towel hung around his waist. His hair is dripping wet, making his chest glisten and my mouth water. He sees me eyeing him down and shakes his head.
"No no baby, you said we had to wait. So no touching." He's right I did say we had to wait, but that doesn't stop me from pouting like a child. He laughs at me, and walks over to put his hand on my cheek. I look up at him, and it's almost like a siren goes off in my brain. My face gets hot, but my blood runs cold. I've broken my last rule. Tears start to sting the back of my eyes and I have to look away. What is wrong with me. He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my face to meet his.
"What's wrong baby? I can make them leave, we don't have to wait." He grins at me.
"No, it's not that. I'm fine I promise." He tilts his head to the side, clearly not believing my lie.
"Jocelyn, you're lying. Please tell me the truth." I can't tell him. He will never accept it, he will never accept me, but he's waiting for me to say something, so I need to think fast.
"I'm just nervous. I'm not the type of girl you bring home to meet mom, and yet here we are. She's here, along with your brother, who already saw me half naked by the way. Not to mention, your mother saw us having sex! This is not a very good first impression. What if they hate me?" I realize once I've said it, that I truly am worried about this. I want something more with Charlie, and if his mom does hate me, he will never want to continue with me. He pulls me to his chest, and I cuddle into him.
"I know that them walking in this morning wasn't ideal, trust me, but my mom is going to love you. You are amazing Jocelyn, please don't doubt that." I smile against him.
"Ok. I hope you're right. Now let's go celebrate your birthday." I stand up on my toes and give him a quick kiss. He dresses quickly into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He takes my hand in his and we walk down the hall into the kitchen. His mother is cooking pancakes, and Derrick is sitting on one of the bar stools.
"Good morning mom." Charlie says, smiling at her. His mother turns around and smiles back at us.
"Good morning birthday boy." She comes over and wraps Charlie into a big hug. He hugs her back, but never takes his hand out of mine. She then turns to me and puts her hands on my shoulders, holding me at arms length and looking at me, studying my face. She is probably six inches taller than me, so I feel like a child about to be scolded, but she then pulls me into a tight hug. I sigh, relieved and hug her back.
"And who is this beautiful young lady. Someone special I hope?" She looks at her son, with a knowing grin on her face.
"It's nice to meet you. My name is Jocelyn, I'm a friend of Charlie's." I say, still embarrassed about how she found us, but I'm not sure how else to introduce myself.
"A friend huh? I sure wish I had a friend like you." Derrick laughs from his seat, and Charlie looks at him, clearly wanting to throw something at him.
"Oh shut up Derrick. Mom, Jocelyn is the girl I told you about on the phone the other day." He told his mom about me? I look up at him and the tears threaten to fall again. I take a deep breath to calm myself down. How was I ever going to keep my true feelings from him. His mother hugs me again.
"Oh Jocelyn, it is so wonderful to meet you. My name is Jennifer. Charlie told me he had met someone special, but I never imagined you to be so beautiful." She leans into my ear and giggles.
"Just between me and you, he wouldn't stop talking about you once he started." She winks at me, and Charlie's face turns red. I squeeze his hand and he smiles at me.
"What about me, don't I get an introduction?" Derrick stands up and walks over slapping his brother on the back. Charlie rolls his eyes, but looks at him.
"Jocelyn, this is my older brother Derrick. Derrick this is Jocelyn. There, you're introduced." Derrick wraps me into a tight hug picking me up off the ground, and pulling me away from Charlie in the process.
"Hello Jocelyn. It is so great to meet you." Charlie grabs my waist forcing his brother to put me down, and pulls me back to his side.
"It's nice to meet you to Derrick." Is all I can say. I can't bring myself to look him in the eye, but he doesn't seem to be done embarrassing me and his brother.
"I'm sorry we busted in on all your morning birthday fun Charlie, but mom wanted to surprise you." Oh god, I was hoping we could just forget about that. My face heats up and I sink back trying to hide myself behind Charlie.
"Really Derrick, leave your brother alone. We are the ones who snuck into his house. We should have called first, Charlie I'm so sorry. I didn't know you had company." His mom, thankfully, comes to the rescue and Derrick finally sits back down.
"It's ok mom. It's not your fault. I forgot about my birthday honestly, when I asked Jocelyn to stay the weekend. But just for future notice, she is going to be staying with me for awhile, so no more surprise visits, ok?" I look at him to make sure he hasn't lost his mind.
"What?" I immediately regret saying anything because his brother smirks at us.
"Trouble in paradise already?" I'm positive that Charlie is going to punch him now, but he just looks down at me and puts his hand on my cheek. I close my eyes and relax into his palm.
"After yesterday, I figured you'd need a place to stay for awhile baby. Just to get away from everything. I won't have you staying at some hotel." He leans down and kisses my forehead and I wrap my arms around him nuzzling into his chest. For a moment I forget we're not alone, but I'm quickly reminded when Derrick speaks.
"Wow Charlie. What has this girl done to you." He laughs, but his words aren't sarcastic. He seems to be genuinely happy for Charlie. His mom brings a giant plate of pancakes, a tray of bacon, and a bowl of eggs to the island. She sets everything down and starts fixing four plates of food. I'm starving and the food smells like heaven.
"Charlie, eat up. We have a big day of birthday activities to get through." His mom says handing him his food. She hands me my plate and I sit down next to Charlie.
"Thank you, Jennifer. This is wonderful." I take a bite of a pancake and it's the best pancake I've ever tasted. Charlie's mom could make me breakfast anytime.
"You're so welcome darling. I'm really glad you're here. Welcome to the family." She grabs my hand and squeezes. A single tear escapes her eye, but she wipes it away quickly, clearly embarrassed that we saw it. Welcome to the family. I think about her statement; am I a part of the family? I'm not actually Charlie's girlfriend. I'm not really sure what I am. We've only known each other a week, but so much has happened already. We are definitely something, I just need to figure out what. I look at him and he kisses my forehead again. My whole world was shattered yesterday, but here he is, putting it back together. He seems to be doing that a lot since we met. A pang of guilt hits me in the chest. Charlie is so sweet, and he has taken such good care of me, but all I've done is pull him into my darkness. He shouldn't have to take care of me, I'm not his responsibility. I hear my phone ringing from the bedroom, and it pulls me from my thoughts. Once it registers with me that someone is calling, I jump up from the table.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Charlie is immediately standing, worried that something has happened.
"Nothing, my phone is ringing. It could be one of the girls." I look at his mom.
"Please, excuse me, I'll be right back." I turn and run down the hall and catch my phone just in time.
"Cayla? Kat?" I'm breathless and tears are starting to run down my face.
"What? No Jocelyn, it's Eric." Eric? I was't expecting to hear from him.
"Oh, Eric." My heart falls, and the tears start coming faster now.
"Jocelyn, honey are you crying?"
"I'm not. I'm sorry Eric. I thought you were someone else. Are you ok? Do you need something?" I clear my throat and take a deep breath, forcing myself to stop crying. I don't know why he would be calling me right now, and I don't want Charlie to know he is.
"I'm fine, I just wanted to call and see how you were. Things were kind of weird yesterday, and I just wanted to check in. Are you sure you're ok?" Was I ok?
"Yes Eric. I'm ok, I promise. But I'm really sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm having breakfast with some friends. I'll see you Tuesday at the meeting ok?" I don't have energy to deal with Eric right now. Not that he takes to much energy, but I just can't handle anymore stress.
"Ok Jocelyn. I'll talk to you then." He hangs up before I can say goodbye. I feel terrible being so short with him. When I turn around, Charlie is standing in the doorway watching me. So much for not letting him know about Eric's call.
"It wasn't the girls. It was just a work call." I toss my phone onto the bed and fall back onto it. Charlie comes over and sits next to me.
"Should I be worried that Eric is calling you on a Saturday?" I just roll my eyes. I cannot deal with this today.
"No Charlie. You don't have to worry." I think about telling him that Eric kissed me yesterday, but I change my mind. It would only ruin his birthday.
"Ok. I'm sorry that they haven't called you baby. Maybe you should call them?" Should I?
"No, they need space. Besides today is about you, not me." I stand up from the bed and he pulls me to stand between his legs.
"I'm sorry I told my mom you would be staying here before I talked to you about it, but I couldn't stand the thought of you sleeping alone in some sleezy hotel." I just sigh at him.
"It's ok Charlie. Honestly, I hadn't even thought about having to move out of my apartment, but you're probably right in guessing that I will have too. I promise I won't intrude on you for long. I will find an apartment on Monday." He looks at me, and then his face lights up.
"Why don't you just move in here?"