I messed up

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Parrlynn. Tw: swearing, hitting and pushing.

Cathy POV
I needed to finish this story but my mind was blank. I hadn't been out of my room all day, I haven't really been out of my room for the last four days actually. I left for food and more coffee.

I was sitting at my desk, I had an awful headache from looking at my computer screen all day. I leaned back and ran my fingers, I got a call from my Mom, I groan but answer. "What do you need?" I ask and she was crying "Mom? What's going on?" I ask concerned
"Your father. He passed." She says. No, no, no. My dad, he was my idol, he's the one who introduced me to writing, he was supposed to be one of the first people to read my book. "Cathy please say something." She says
"I have to go." I say and hang up. I start crying. Why did he have to leave? I wipe away my tears, I need to finish my book.

2 hours later
Nothing. I've been staring at this damn computer screen, my head was hurting and crying did nothing but make everything worse. I throw the book I was reading on my bed. I sit down at my desk again and just try to brainstorm. I get a knock on my door. "What do you want." I ask, the annoyance clear in my voice
"I just wanted to let you know dinner is done." Jane says
"I'm not hungry."
"Cathy please come out of your room. We're all worried about you." Catherine says
"I said I'm not hungry, now please leave me alone." I say
"Cathy please." I hear Kat say. I stand up and open my door.
"What! What do you guys want? I'm busy!" I yell 
"Cathy please we just want you to hang out with us, come out of your room." Anna says
"I said I can't hang out. I'm busy." I say and get ready to shut my door, but someone sticks there foot in the door and I groan in annoyance. "Guys please leave me alone!" I say
"No! Cathy please tell us what's wrong!" Anne yells
"Everything! Everything is wrong! I can't finish my fucking book! I have the worst headache! All my idea for my book are stupid! I can't sleep because I'm so frustrated! And on top of all of that my Dad just died and I hung up on my mom and I feel like a fucking shitty person!" I yell, I walk back to my desk and open my  laptop again. I fell arms wrap around my waist, they pick me up. "No stop. Put me down." They don't listen and I smack their hands "I said put me down!" I yell, I push them away from me. I turn around, Anne. She looked scared, I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I look at her, "I'm so sorry. Annie I'm so sorry." I say and grab my shoes and run towards the door, "Cathy where are you going?!" Jane yells
"Somewhere. I don't know." I say back and run out into the freezing weather. Great I just messed up the only good thing I had in my life. Why do I mess everything up?

I let my feet wander in the snow, I was absolutely freezing, I was wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt. I let the tears keep falling. I stop walking, of course I end up at me and Anne's spot. It was a place in the woods, it was a cliff and it had water at the bottom. I grab my phone and call my moms phone number, of course it goes to voice mail. "Mom I'm so sorry for hanging up. Im so sorry, I love you." I say. I grab a rock and throw it, I scream. And, I fell onto my knees and start sobbing. I grab another rock and throw it onto the ice. It breaks. I look to the side and see Anne's chocker, so that's we're she left it. I grab and hold it, I messed up, Henry yelled at her all the time so she hated yelling and her father just pushed her, or pressured her into everything. She's everything that I want and I need and I just fucked it up. I'm so stupid, so fucking stupid. I set Anne's chocker on the snow, I remember that day, Anne freaked out so me and her made one together, she loved it and she still wears it.
"I knew you'd come here." Anne says, I turn my head around and she sits down next to me and hands me my jacket.
"Anne, I'm so, so, so sorry. I wasn't thinking and I understand if you want to break up with me-"
"Cathy I'm not breaking up with you." She says
"But I messed up, I yelled at you, I hit you, and I pushed you."
"Cathy everyone messes up, I know why you did that. Cathy you have got to stop pushing yourself like that, one person can only take so much." I start crying again, my dad used to say that to me all the time, he told me 'Star, only one person can take so much so never push yourself over your limits.' Anne pulled me in for a hug, she wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into her lap. I cried into her shoulder.
"I wanted to say goodbye to him." I say and she rubs my back.
"I know Cathy, I know." She said and rocked me back and fourth. She grabs my jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. "Let's go home okay." She says and I nod and grab her chocker. "My chocker!" She says and grabs it.
"Still looks like the day you lost it." I say and she nods, she pulls me off the ground. We walk home.

After their walk home
Anne opened the door and I followed behind her. "Cathy!" Kitty yells and she hugs me, everyone walks over to me, and hugs me.
"I'm sorry for yelling." I say
"It's okay. I made hot chocolate." Jane says. Me and Annie walk inside.
"I'm gonna go upstairs-"
"No!" Anna yells
"To go change." I finish and she nods. I run into Anne's room and steal her green sweater (jumper) she always wore it to bed bit never outside, I run back to my room and change into sweatpants.

I walk downstairs to see everyone sitting on the couch. Anne cocks an eyebrow at me "is that my sweater (jumper)?"
"Maybe." I say and she hold her arms out and I lay into them, melting into her embrace. I lay my head on her chest "do you think my dad is mad at me for pushing myself over my limits?"
"I think maybe he's a little upset but glad you're learning from your mistakes." She says tracing a pattern on my stomach. I let my hands fall on her hands and she continues to trace the pattern. "I love you Cathy." She says
"I love you too." I say and smile.

Heyyyyyy, how are you??? Hope you liked this. Kayyyyy byyyyeee.
-TORTULLLEEE 🐢🐢🐢

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