CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: CHATTERS
Pagkatapos namin manood at magpicture ng sunset, bumalik na rin kami sa resort. Nagbanlaw lang kami tapos nagkita-kita na ulit sa cottage kung saan din kami nagmeet kaninang umaga. Doon kami kumain ng dinner. Naiwan sa cottage 'yong mga lalaki dahil iinom sila. Tanging si Herm lang ang naiwan 'don kasama nila.
Si Pres at Chars ay kumuha lang ng in can beer at nagpaalam na maglalakad sa tabing-dagat. Si Kris ay nagpaalam na babalik na sa kwarto. Ang bruhang si Elise ay hindi ko alam kung nasaan at wala rin naman akong pake. 'Yong iba namang babae ay magtitipon daw sa kwarto ni Julianna para maglaro o kaya manood.
Ako? Natripan kong lumayo sa mga nag-iinom at mag-emo sa may tabing-dagat. The fresh air somehow calms me. Someone sat beside me but I didn't bother to look who it is. I can already tell by his scent.
"Hindi ka iinom?"
"Minor pa," sagot ko sa kaniya. The truth is, hindi lang talaga ako umiinom. Ayaw ko pero somehow gusto ko subukan. But we shouldn't let curiosity drives us to the things we are curious about. Some were good but some were dangerous.
"Bait naman," I smiled a little. I felt him move closer. I saw from my peripheral vision that he is holding a can of beer in his hand. Hmm, so Mr. James Villazarde drinks. Cute.
"Bakit nandito ka? You should be with them," he just shrugged his shoulders. We let the silence and the cold breeze embrace us.
After he finished his bottle, nagulat ako when he offered me his hand. Nilingon ko siya at seryoso niya akong tiningnan.
"Run away with me," awtomatikong napataas ang dalawang kilay ko. Is he drunk already? Inaaya niya na ako magtanan?
"I don't have much things that I regret but I also have some things I wanna run away from," I bit my lower lip when I remember that, that was my harsh response to him before.
"So run away with me," I extended my arms to hold his left cheek and caressed it. Hinawakan niya ang pulsuhan ko at mas idiniin ang kamay ko sa pisngi niya, he bend a little then closed his eyes. We stayed like that for a little longer.
I gulped when I see a lone tear fell from his eyes.
"What's wrong, James?"
When he didn't answer, I didn't ask again. I just let him. Maybe, he just need a peace of mind. Ako rin naman minsan.
Kung may mga tao na gustong may nagtatanong sa kanila ng mga bagay-bagay kapag may problema, ako hindi. When big things keeps on bothering me, I just wanna be alone. Because no one can understand. Because no one really cares.
Some people will come to you at your worst, not because they are concern but merely because they want to know, so they can gossip behind your back.
When he opened his eyes again and winked at me. I slightly pushed his head using my hand that he is holding. He chuckled. He look straight and took one deep breath.
"What do you see?" itinuro niya ang ang dagat sa harapan namin.
"A sea,"
"I see."
I didn't get it so I asked him, "What?"
"Bakit ikaw, what do you see?" dagdag ko pa.
"A sea," sinamaan ko siya ng tingin because it sounds like he is already messing with me. I felt light when he laughed. Gone was the fragile James Villazarde from before.
Seryoso ko siyang tiningnan, he is sharing me a story about something but my attention was focused on his eyes. I remember what Peter said about his eyes. Avril also said the same thing but why can't I see it.
"Do you think I'm being nosy?"
"Huh?"
"When I told you that you can tell me all your worries. Do you think I'm being nosy?" I puffed out my cheeks before nodding. He gave me a sad smile.
"E kasi naman, you told me that when we barely knew each other,"
"No need to explain," he forced a laugh.
"Tapos you told me that pagkatapos mong laitin 'yong works ko, so I'm slightly... irritated," dagdag ko pa.
"You had told me before that I could tell you all of my worries. The first thing that came to my mind was bakit? To prove yourself, to comfort yourself na hindi lang ikaw ang miserable sa mundong 'to?"
I saw a glint of pain in his eyes. Hindi makapaniwala niya akong tiningnan bago nagkibit balikat.
"Tingin mo?" Matagal akong napatitig sa mga mata niya. I puffed out my cheeks again before nodding.
"Siguro," Nanikip ang dibdib ko sa sagot niya. I can't believe that I am expecting another answer. Na baka sasabihin niya na he sincerely worries about me. I want to clutch my chest to ease the pain but I control myself.
"Baka 'yon nga ang dahilan." dagdag niya pa.
Pakiramdam ko ay mas lumamig ang paligid.
"Why does it pains me like this?" Napalingon ako nang magsalita siya.
"I want you to tell me all your worries because I want you to feel that you are not alone. That you can have someone you can tell your worries to. That there is someone who is always there for you and someone you can always lean to. I want you to feel that you no longer need to fight alone because someone is here to fight with you."
"And I want to be that someone for you."
"I sincerely care for you and it pains me that you didn't see all the efforts I have done so far. It pains me, Catherine. It pains me."
Our tears fell at the same time.
"Pero bakit kahit ang sakit na," he clutched his left chest.
"Mahal pa din kita."
"Bakit kahit pwede namang iba na lang, ikaw pa din."
His stares are suffocating me, I choose to look away.
"See? You always made me feel unwanted. You are always pushing me away. So why the hell am I still choosing you over and over again? You wanna know why?" I bit my lower lip harder until it bled, to stop myself from sobbing.
"Look at me, Catherine. Look at me if you wanna know why,"
He is sitting on my right side, instead of looking at him, I turn my head to my left side. He slightly pushed my shoulder and made me face him. He holds my chin and move his face a little closer to mine.
"Because you are the love that I didn't seek... but then I found."
BINABASA MO ANG
A LOVE FOUND
JugendliteraturA man that can accept her for who she is and not for who she can be is all that Catherine Mionnette Alvarez was wishing for. A man that can love her despite of her arching eyebrows, rolling eyes and selfish attitude. A man that can understand her an...
