1.) To save your mind from a harmful thought,
add one gallon of people, music, distractions,
and materialistic items into a bowl.
2.) Whisk until frothy.
3.) Divide into two 4 quarts.
4.) Pour 2 quarts into your mind, and the remaining 2 into your heart.
5.) If mixture appears to be lacking in feeling, add 3 cups of pure vicarious emotion extracted from friends, family, and classmates. (If fresh is unavailable, store bought is an acceptable substitute).
6.) Allow mixture to set overnight.
7.) First thing in the morning, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
8.) While waiting, no moment must be left idle.
9.) Fill your head with noise as you keep your body moving.
10.) Limbs must be kept busy with routine and empty errands.
11.) Devote your energy unnecessarily.
12.) Burn calories until holes begin to appear in your skin.
13.) Make sure to carry the world on your shoulders, as to feed yourself the illusion that you have some sort of purpose other than to be miserable.
14.) Obsess over the things you cannot change to make your worries seem less significant.
15.) Look at yourself in the mirror, and try to find something there.
Note: You may find impurities, such as a sagging face.
16.) To remove worry lines and bags under eyelids, apply Smile (tm) to face first thing in the morning on the day you wish to change your life.
17.) Allow adhesive time to activate before stepping outside for optimal functionality.
Disclaimer: Removal of Smile (tm) requires special treatment, handle with care. Ask your doctor or medical physician if removal is right for you, it may cause severe side effects.
Side effects: Lungs may implode, and heart palpitations may ensue. Or much worse, nothing may change at all.
18.) Inhale from nose and exhale from mouth for a period of five minutes every day.
19.) To avoid crying yourself to sleep, intake a teaspoon of melatonin before bed.
20.) After regaining composure, check on mixture.
21.) If the layers have begun to separate, suppress the insecurities by adding escapism, isolation, and chocolate chips.
22.) After oven has reached temperature, cover with tinfoil and bake for thirty minutes.
23.) Remain busy.
24.) Don't think about how long it will be before it is done.
25.) Don't think at all.
26.) Finally, take out of the oven.
27.) Consume, until there is nothing left of the dish and of yourself.
YOU ARE READING
A Collection of Thoughts
PoetryA collection of mostly free verse poems and short stories. Sometimes it is nice to simply clear your head. *Trigger warnings: descriptions of disturbing themes such as: body horror, death, interactions with the uncanny, topics in biology, and suici...
