A Collection of Thoughts

Decent

Before taking your own life,
Remember to be decent about it.
Keep it simple.
Keep it clean.
That's all there is to it.
Pick a method that is quick and convenient.
Unless emphasizing your last moments of agony is your preference.
Then, at the very least, pick the one that is the least messy.
You wouldn't want your mother to have to scrub your brains off the walls now would you?
Your stains would most likely remain,
Which will only force your family to move out of that house,
Because they don't want to see that silhouette of your vacant body on the living room carpet.

How rude of you.

But maybe you are alone in an apartment.
In that case, you wouldn't want to inconvenience your landlord right?
They would have to call an entire cleaning crew.
That means a fucking industrial Stanly Steamer Carpet Cleaner because you decided to be sloppy.

Seriously?

Imagine the Stanley Steamer Carpet Cleaner commercial jingle as they mix soap bubbles with your blood.
Oh, and I bet you laid their for a while, because you were tactless,
And now you went and stunk up the place!
Good job.

You insensitive prick.

Keep other people's feelings in mind,
Won't you?
Because there are more individuals involved than you think.
If you have a pet, please find a new caregiver for them before you go.
Don't be selfish, and cause an animal to starve in your vacancy.
Besides, I'm not too sure how fond you would be of your dog resorting to nibbling off your fingers to survive.

Just a thought.

Before you leave, have the self respect to tidy up your place.
Dust the blinds,
Vacuum the living room,
Mop the floors,
Scrub your bathroom,
And make your bed.
Most importantly, don't forget to clean out the fridge, as you most likely don't want your milk to spoil before you get the chance to.
In fact, after you are done emptying the fridge, and taking out the garbage, de clutter everything.
Donate all your clothes to Goodwill
Sell your electronics,
Furniture,
Kitchenware,
And even your car.

You won't be needing any of it.

Take the time to get your financials in order.
Write your will, and make things as easy as possible for your beneficiaries.
Don't have anyone in particular you want to hand everything over to?
Or better yet, don't want your friends and family to know?

That's fine.

Just simply give it all to a few local charities, they will be more than grateful.
Put in that two week notice.
Close that bank account.
Tie up all those loose strings so you don't become a burden in death.
And when the time finally comes,
Everything will be
Empty,
Vacant,
Lifeless,
And whatever other adjectives that soon will be interchangeable between your house and yourself.
Alright, now you think you are ready to go?

Nope, not quite.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that you are an organ donor so it will make this next step a lot easier.

Alright?

Ok.

So, before you take those pills
Or kick that stool,
Have the consideration to call an ambulance to your location so that they will be able to extract your organs while they are still warm.
If you are going to be careless with your own life,
Then at least have the kindness to give it to someone else.
Because I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who just can't wait to stop dialysis,
To breath with better lungs,
And have a heart that throbs the way it is supposed to.
Hopefully you have been kinder to your organs than you have been to yourself.

Please,

Reconsider it all.

Be decent.