Devils Rebels (MC)

21 - Broken and Tired

"Nyx! Nyx You have to wake the fuck up! Nyx! Come back to me please!"

Begging? Someone was begging for me to come back? But... where did I go..? What was I doing that was causing so much panic and to a man with such a very sexy, nice, husky voice?

Rip.

His name slammed into my brain as everything came crashing back into me. The cloaked man and his warnings.

I sucked in a hazard breath as I shot up instantly regretting my decision. My vision became spotty and a wave of nausea came crashing into me so hard that I gagged.

Rip held onto my tightly with his left arm as his right hand ran through his hair, "Jesus Nyx. What the fuck was that? I mean, I've heard of heavy sleepers but that was totally different. Are you okay babe?"

I was focusing on my breathing, trying to get the nausea to go away. I shook my head slightly, "No... I'm far from okay." My voice came out breathy and so quiet I wasn't even sure that he heard me. His hold on my tightened protectively indicated that he had indeed heard every word I said.

"What happened?" He growled. I didn't respond. I just let myself relax slowly until my breathing was steady and I was ready to say anything.

I looked up at him and frowned before looking back down at my hands that sat limp in my lap, "Rip I... Last night was a very... eye opening situation. I got a few more answers to what may have happened to my parents and... well to keep you from meeting that same fate I'd say it's better if we... didn't do this, whatever this is anymore. It's not safe. They have complete access to me and nothing anyone does will ever change that and aparanty I... I'm betrothed? Do people still use that word?" I looked up at him, tears in my eyes.

Rip just looked at me, his face blank of all emotion. His grip on me never loosened as he held me close to him. His breathing was even although it was heavy as if he was trying to keep himself composed.

I looked back down at my hands and continued, not wanting to hear what he had to say, "There were multiple people involved in my parents murders. That I know for sure now. It was supposedly caused by a simple misunderstanding but I find that very hard to believe. But... He called me 'Little Raven' and I've never heard anyone ever call me that. Well... I mean my brother called me that once as a joke because my hair is described as Raven black in my records. Other than that it was just creepy. He was covered head to toe in this weird dark brown material that didn't make any noise at all when he moved and he had a very shiny silver dagger on his hip."

I brought my knees up to my chest and kept my gaze from meeting him as I continued, "Rip he... he told me that if I didn't stop seeing you that he'd kill you. I can't... I can't let anyone else die for me. I can't bear to have anyone else's blood on my hands. From what I gathered with that little 'visit' last night, they've been keeping tabs on me since I was little. They can, at any time, hurt me or someone I care about."

I let the tears fall freely, it seemed this was something that I was going to have to get used to. My life was so lonely... left in the darkness with this weight on my shoulders would certainly be enough to drive me over the edge.

Rip sighed softly and pulled me even tighter against him, "Baby... It's a scare tactic. They sent their messenger to make you fearful of what could happen to me or anyone close to you. They want you to know that they have full access to you and that you have no control when in reality you do."

I snorted and looked up at him, "Yeah I know. I've been around Keith long enough to be able to piece everything together myself. It's just a reminder that my parents obviously knew too much and became loose ends that needed tying. I just wish I knew what it was." I shivered remembering about being supposedly betrothed and grimaced, "On second thought maybe ignorance is bliss in this case considering he called me 'Little Raven' and that I was betrothed."

I looked up at Rip, "But I have to tell you, this guy could have done damage had he attacked me. I can take a beating trust me, but this guy... he'd have handed me my ass. I think the dagger was just a flashy way of telling me to mind my manners. He surely wouldn't have needed it whatsoever."

Rip nodded, "I'm sure you're right. I'm sorry that I wasn't here darlin'." His voice sounded strained, like he himself was fighting his own emotions about it all. I cocked my head to the side, furrowing my brows.

"Rip, you barely know me and it sounds like you're getting choked up about my fucked up life. Granted it's a huge ass tragedy, but come on. We aren't even together, I don't even know what to call this. I mean at this point all we are is friends with benefits."

Rip stared down at me for a moment before looking away and running his hands through his hair before down his face. I knew what that meant. It was complicated. Keith had done the same damn thing in the throws of fighting off a divorce with his wife. This was a complex situation which I clearly understood, but why the fuck did it hurt so badly?

Why the fuck was my chest tightening as if his actions alone ripped my heart in two? I barely knew the guy! Spent a few days if that with him and fucked him, that did not in my book at least equate to love! Maybe I was even more fucked up that I cared to admit...

Rip laughed softly startling me from my thoughts as I turned to look at him. His eyes softened and a new emotion flickered across them as he took my face in his hand and let his thumb run lightly across my bottom lip.

"You've captivated me from the moment you stepped into my bar and dodged that damn bottle. You were fearless just like you are now and I've never ever seen another woman ever react this way. Most of the ones I know would be an emotional shit show; screaming, crying, panicking. Yet here you are, as calm as you've always been. Calculating your next move before you've even thought of what the next one should be. You hold yourself as if you're a queen. You've lived an absurd fucked up life, but here you are..."

I just stared up at him, what the fuck had he just said to me? Did he just compare me to a damn queen?! My head started to spin as I realized what he was getting at. I didn't mean to but a small nervous laugh escaped my lips as I processed what happened.

"So what? You trying to say that you're in love with me after a few days or so and a good fuck?" I blinked rapidly, raising my eyebrows skeptically.

He chuckled and nodded, "Yeah I guess I am."

My eyes widened at his confession, "I'm sorry what? Really?! I mean... Well I don't even know what I mean... no offense but I never in a million years pictured a ripped biker like yourself ever falling in love. Especially not with such a fucked up chick like me! I had you pegged for a guy that just wanted a good fuck buddy with no strings attached."

I blushed in embarrassment as Rip let out a full blown belly laugh, "Well baby it seems that you've got the special touch. I can't keep you off my mind and I don't want to be with anyone else but you."

I smiled softly up at him, "No shit huh? Well that made my day better." I laughed lightly and leaned my head against his chest. I closed my eyes, "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up though. Must suck to be in love with someone who's so fucked up."

Rip held me tightly against his chest and chuckled again, "Nyx I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather have all of you and your fucked up baggage than a chick that's soft."

I could feel my smile growing wider with every word that he spoke. I looked up at him and pressed my lips lightly into his. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing right?

Maybe this would work out and I'd get my own happy ending like Cinderella?