Devils Rebels (MC)

25 - Sneaking Out

Nyx POV

I had passed out in Rips arms, that much I remembered. I also knew that we had fought and he had called his Club members to have a meeting here at my home. I'd hope that Alex would have either fled or hidden himself in my spare bedroom. He didn't like them and was even fearful of them.

I laid still on the couch, I recognized the feel of the cushions under my left side as I faced the back of it.

My thoughts shifted towards Keith. His body would be in the morgue right now, already starting the process of decomposing until the coroner could come and retrieve it. The thought alone made me swallow hard and pull the covers tighter around myself.

Snoring filled the air and I knew that most likely that everyone would be fast asleep. I opened my eyes, lifting my hand up to rub the sleep out them. I slowly sat up and looked around at my home.

I couldn't help but giggle, bikers were sprawled out all over the floor. I pulled the blanket off of myself and stood up, carefully stepping over all of the sleeping bikers. Once I was clear I darted into my bedroom, shutting the door quietly. I glanced at my bed and sighed, I would need to get dressed again and prep myself. I'd have to keep my wits about me.

I went into my closet and grabbed a pair of specialty black jeans that were made to conceal my weapons. Keith had taken the time to help me acquire them, having to fly all the way to Columbia and back pretending to be on a mini family vacation. It wasn't illegal, but at the time Keith was being heavily monitored by his Chief - they weren't getting along and it was all because of my parents murders.

I shook my head and grabbed a black t-shirt and another black hoodie and went into my bathroom. I needed a shower to be able to think.

I ripped off my clothes and chucked them onto the floor over by the toilet and turned on the shower. I let it run for a few minutes, letting it warm up as I looked at my appearance in the mirror.

My different colored eyes were darker than normal, they were filled with pain and sorrow that I didn't know when or if it would ever leave. I let my gaze travel down my body, taking in everything. I stopped letting my gaze linger on my lower half.

I thought about the scars that I had there. That I had given to myself as a form of punishment for not being able to save them.

I closed my eyes for a moment before slowly getting into the shower. I leaned against the back of the shower wall and let the warm water pelt my body. I closed my eyes again, wondering how different my life would have been if they had never been killed. Would they be happy? Would I be happy? Would I have met Rip? Would I have fallen in love?

Fallen in love.

I snapped my eyes open at that last thought. Was I truly in love? What was love? Why was I even thinking of this now?

I knew why. It was because I was going to go ahead with my plan and leave. I was going to end this on my own terms no matter what anyone had to say about it.

I hurried to shower, hurried to dry off and hurried to dress.

Opening my bathroom door I took a quick glance around my bedroom before rushing to my stash of weapons.

I grabbed both of my guns, placing them in the hidden holsters concealed within my pants before taking the knife and hooking the sheath to the inside of my boot. There was a reason that Keith had me get these, and I had a feeling it had to do with ehy he was dead.

Throwing my hair up into a ponytail I pulled my hood up and went to my desk in the corner of the room. I had to leave a note to Rip. He had come clean to me of his feelings and I felt that it was imperative that I do the same just in case... just in case if I didn't make it out alive.

'Rip

You've been on my mind a lot lately and I'm not sure how you're going to take this when you find me gone, but this is something I have to do alone.

I don't expect you to understand. I never will expect that out of you. I just wanted to be able to tell you how I felt towards you just in case this was the last chance of communication we had.

Rip to say that I have feelings for you is the understatement of the century.

I love you. All of you. Every stubborn, protective piece of you.

I hope one day you can forgive me - to understand from my side why I have to do this.

If not then that is okay too. Just know my feelings for you will never change whether I be in this life or the next.

Until we meet again my love,

Nyx'

I swallowed hard fighting off the tears that threatened to come. I didn't want to cry. Not now.

I taped the letter to the wall behind my desk so it'd be the first thing he saw when he opened my door.

With a deep breath I sat my phone down and climbed out the window. It was time to end this once and for all. On my terms.