IN BETWEEN

~t h i r t y f o u r~

If you're not going to swim deep with me,
Then get out of my waters.

~\~|~/~

|Chapter thirty four|

Hold your horses, this is a huge chapter. Good luck with reading ;)

Are there soul mates?

I think they exist just not always romantically. I think there are certain people in your life with whom you just connect with more than anyone else and you just know it isn't a typical thing and you understand each other perfectly.

And this person won't always be your 'significant other'. I mean it could be your friend or sibling or teacher or parent, it could be just about anyone you've ever interacted with."

I shut the book and sighed. My mind revolving around millions of things at the moment. After what I just read, made me think about so many things.

I am never really the person who believes in love and all that cute stuff, to be honest, I'm far away from that. I've obviously never been in love. And now that I'm dating someone I'm facing different things which I myself have no idea. I mean, duh, it's all quite new to me and then the feeling I get is weird. Sometimes I wonder whether it's in a good way or a bad way.

There might be soulmates but for being a soulmate you need a mutual trust. And after I've been raped by my very own trusted person, Austin Stevens, makes me think that it's next to impossible.

You know before the whole rape thing happened, my life was pretty simple and enjoyable. I enjoyed every second of my life. The only thing that bothered me was that in all of my happy moments, mom wasn't there. It was too much for me too go back home and back home and mom not being there. Waking up and mom not being there to serve me breakfast. Mom was very special to me. She is a soul whom I'd never forget.

Now that I ponder over things that happened in my past made me feel like, no, this isn't happening. Its like I'm destined for all of this. I'm destined to be unhappy. I don't deserve this. I feel like I'm obliged to get all this pain in my life. Pain like mom dying, pain like me getting raped.

Isn't my life so much cliché?

No?

Well I think that it is.

But even after all the shit, I've got my friends whom I can rely on, forever. For a fact I know that they won't backstab me. Sometimes I feel like I'm such a bad person for not telling my besties about me getting raped, I mean it's obviously a huge deal but I don't know why but I just didn't feel like telling them.

Still the people I've met, the friends I've made especially Ryan and Mae, my dad, Chase, my boyfriend and Aaron.

I don't know why I associated Aaron differently.

The whole point is after getting betrayed once and me thinking that I won't ever trust anyone again and then all of a sudden being so much loved is quite overwhelming.

The people I've got in my life are brilliantly amazing.

I'm so much thankful for this.