IN BETWEEN

~t h i r t e e n~

In my determination to fall more in love with life, I've found such joy in being more aware of and appreciating 'little things'. It's the little things that brings me true happiness, that makes me feel alive that remind me how wonderful life is. I've also found that these things aren't so 'little' after all.

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|Chapter thirteen|

You know there are times when you regret something so much. You feel like going back in time and changing that moment so that you don't face it because apparently you don't want to face it because it's terrifying you. You're trying to keep the strong façade but deep down you know how scared you are. And if you still overcome this regret then hats off to you that you're able to do that. Because many of them are unable to do it–just like me.

Yes, I, Skyler Lyle Grayson, was regretting the moment. I agreed to come to the party. I curse that moment. And I am not at all able to overcome the regret. I don't know why do I have to be so over confident at that time because I know that I'm not at all confident about it.
I've been raped. You hear me people? Rape, which I'm trying to live with even though sometimes I know that I can't do this anymore. It's confined so much within me that sometimes I loses it. And now agreeing to go to a high school party isn't the best choice I made in my life.

But still keeping my hopes high and a positive mind we, as in me and Aaron, reached the party.

Aaron parked the car right in front of the house. I glanced at the house and damn, it was a mansion.

"It's so big, how many people will be there?" I gulped down.

"A full house, hurry up." I hope I don't find specific someone.

Aaron got out of the car slamming the door shut. I watched as he shook hands with a lot of people. He turned around and looked at me but I couldn't let myself this easily. I was breathing heavily. I held the handle of the door tightly as if my life depends on it. I honestly don't want to go in there.

I saw Aaron striding towards my side. He opened door and kept on looking at me where I diverted my eyes from him.

"I don't want to be late, so hurry up." He said a bit harshly.

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him with tears brimming behind my eyes. I think he noticed my eyes a bit red and the tears which made his features soften a bit at my direction.

"What happened?" He tried to be slightly polite than the last.

I shut my eyes tightly, breathed deeply and then looked at him. "Let's go."

"You okay?" I was a bit taken aback by his concern but nonetheless, I nodded.

I got out of the car and we both walked to the party. I kept on hyping mentally that 'its alright it's alright it's alright' but that wasn't really helping me much. And I literally curse in my mind the moment we entered the house. Fuck. The party was on full swing just like the party I attended in New York. All the sweaty bodies, red cups made me revive all those dark memories making my vision a bit blurry.

I felt Aaron who was walking ahead of me turned back and waited for me.

I reached him. "Skyler, are you sure you're okay?"

And by this time, I felt that tears were threatening to fall.
"I don't know." I whispered.

"You sure you want to come?"
This question made me question myself. Should I go? I mean I can still change my mind and get back home. But still one part of me was clinging to the side that I have come this far, so I guess I can go more further. The novels I've read which says that 'you have to move on some time, you've to let it go, then only you'll be able to move forward in life. If you keep on fearing about something then that's apparently very messed up and you should just look at the bright side'. On thinking about it, made me change my mind. That's the only reason I decided to go further into the party. I mean yeah, I can't just stay quite forever, right?