Moments... (An Ed Sheeran fanfic)

The Bucket List

Can I just say that I love you all?! The response to my last chapter was just awesome sauce.

So, I thought I'd update early didn't I?

And to all those people who hate me...you love me really, right? Right....? No? Okayy...

Ed's POV

I thought I could do this, I really did. Heck, I promised her we would get through this together. And yet, I walked out because I was an idiot. I just couldn't handle it.

She was going to die.

My beautiful, amazing, loving, caring, Louise. Dead.

I attempted to wipe away my tears but it was hopeless. They just wouldn't stop pouring out. I shouldn't have walked out. She needed me the most right then and I just left her there. Alone. I was such a coward.

But I didn't leave her. I was currently sat in the car, waiting for her to come out. As soon as I left the room I wanted to turn back and be with her. Hug her. Kiss her. Never let her go.

I just needed to clear my head, and I didn't want her to see me cry. If I had stayed with her, she would've got more upset and I didn't want that.

"Fuck!" I yelled and punched the steering wheel, crying hysterically.

I needed to pull myself together, for her. I told her I couldn't do it. The petrified look on her face burns a hole in my mind. I couldn't do it? Fuck that. I had to do this. I had to be by her side through all of this.

Sighing to myself, I pushed my tears back and created an imaginary barrier in my eyes. I wasn't going to cry. She couldn't see me cry. I had to stay strong.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Louise walking out of the surgery and I leaped out of the car. Her bottom lip was shaking and I saw the pained expression on her face as she saw me.

I ran up towards her as she bit back her tears, trying to keep it together.

"I don't know why I just did that. I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry." I apologised. "I love you more than anything and just the thought that you won't be with me scares the shit out of me."

She just looked at me, and I could tell that if she spoke she would start crying.

"Come here." I opened my arms and she fell into them. Her arms tightly wrapped themselves around my neck and mine were securely placed around her waist. Her head was placed on my chest as she lightly sobbed.

The smell of her perfume travelling it's way through my nose eased me a little. I pulled her even closer, wanting to both comfort her and feel her presence. I didn't want to let go of her. Ever. She was mine and I didn't want anyone to take her away from me. So I just stood there, embracing her warmth, allowing it to soothe me.

It took everything I could to not cry with her. I had to keep it together. I didn't know what to say, either. "It's okay"? Well it's not. "You'll be fine"? Well she won't be.

"Shhh, don't cry." Was all I could think of saying as I stroked her hair softly.

"Ed, please tell me this isn't happening. Not now, not me. When I'm finally happy." She sobbed into my chest and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

"I'll take care of you." I whispered in her ear.

"And how do I know that? You just left me." Her voice was shaky.

"I know, and I'm an idiot. As soon as I left I just wanted you close again. I never want to be apart from you again. Not for a single second. You mean too much to me." I rested my chin on her head.