Random Thoughts

Okay?

Okay? Is the most question that I was asked lately.. you know I'm just okay.. like sometimes we feel sad.. empty... but yes I'm okay.. this word could cover my restless nights.. my broken heart.. worries and worries that fill my head... every idea that I hate to say which is running there in my mind.. future? University? Suicidal thoughts? High school?.. everything I just hate to say it... I reply with I'm okay.. yes I will keep in saying I'm okay.. because they don't like to be around sad or depressed people.. so isn't it easy just to fake a smile and keep going like nothing is happening.. maybe if I keep in faking it sometimes I will feel okay.. you know what they say " fake it until it feels real" it sounds silly but we will fake it anyway.. just we fake it to keep in a conversation.. to feel that we are here in a place.. we fake it to convince ourselves that we are living.. but then I realized.. that I'm not happy... I know I'm alive but I'm not living.. like I still didn't find my place to fill it.. till when I'm faking it? I kept my eyes shining to look at you friendly but deep inside I'm broken... I question ... I wonder... I tried to avoid it but till when? Because I don't feel okay anymore.. under this fake smile there's a broken heart... Not yet to be seen or heard.. this fake smile will hide my broken heart day by day... and all I have to say is that I'm okay...