Do you know why people get divorced? because they are not happy, well I'm not happy with many things in my life so how can I leave things behind and go? When we are not happy with our parents can we leave them? is it that simple for others, because I can't get it... I can't leave things and others behind because I'm not happy... So I think I'm exposing myself to you guys, I'm exposing the unhappy version of me...
I've been trying to be someone else for so long, I don't know who... but I was always pushed to be like others... they always compared me with others... which always made me feel like a loser... I was afraid of what if I am not fitting their standards... I'm like the mysterious girl, I'm talking about the one that plays the role of the introvert in movies and she keeps her head in the clouds while walking and never in the direction that everyone else is walking... the girl that has too many locked doors but no many keys to open them...but let me expose her she keeps her head in the clouds because she is afraid of what she will face if she comes down along the others... she doesn't know how to face people and the reality... so she prefers to spend her day in the sky... and she keeps her doors locked for a reason because when others open them they won't like what is inside... because the hands that unlocked her before they told her how ugly she is from the inside and she would be better if she locked the doors forever...
Yes, I am that mysterious girl, I just open a door for someone, I expose myself for them and I let them inside the real me but then they will never come again... so don't picture yourself with me, don't make up a story on your mind...because whatever you are imaging of won't happen... so don't dream of holding my hands... because when you write the story and I will hold the pen and rewrite it because I know who I am and what suits me better than you... it is not because I don't want to but there is an antagonist inside who wants to change things in my life when I'm at peace... don't get attached because I'm quick in walking away... I'm careful in not allowing myself to care too much... I'm not normal, I carry goodbye letters in my bag... so that's why I locked the doors... and if you don't believe, you can stay if you like but don't say that I didn't warn you before...
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Random Thoughts
No FicciónSome random thoughts that I think of at 2 AM or when I am sad or let's just say some feelings... I hope you will enjoy reading what's running in my mind before I fall asleep... Started: 5/6/2020 (ongoing)
