golden | taekook

thirty nine.

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⥽♡ ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ [눈물]
↳ ꒰ 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧 ꒱
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jungkook never thought he was truly that impatient, but for the first time he was really tested. it got to the point where he was nearly restrained so he wouldnt eagerly tear off those bandages covering his eyes.

of course, by restrained that meant simply by the hands of another, which belonged to taehyung. he didn't mind the impatience, because he sat there beside the bed and held on tightly despite the pouts and whines coming from the boy. jungkooks black hair was bold against the white sheets, and his pink lips were the only things really colorful in this room, minus the red jello he asked for. jin ate that.

"more." jungkook said.

taehyung lifted his hand and kissed the back of it. "more." he repeated. another kiss.

they made up a new game. every time jungkook had the urge to take off the bandages, he got a kiss on his hands from the older boy. taehyung clearly made it up, because he was eager to kiss the little ravenette whether he got the chance. the others in the room just watched with bored expressions. "i wish i was the blind one." jin groaned after the hundredth kiss.

"shut up you ate my jello." jungkook wanted to glare at his best friend, but now even that ability was taken away from him with the bandages covering his sockets.

jimin chuckled quietly, "you look like totoro with those on your eyes." he said.

there was a pause, and then jungkook broke into a smile and a fit of giggles. "remember when you tried to go as totoro for halloween and then those kids followed us the whole night?"

jimins jaw dropped and sat up, "don't come for my costume! you wore a bald cap and used a blue sharpie so you could be aang and dress your cat like appa."

that had everyone laughing. it was easy to picture jungkook doing something like that with a creative and extra mind like he had. it was also nice to just listen to those voices around him, ones from his past when he could see and those from the present when he couldn't — like the two lives were finally forming into one. maybe things would be okay.

then doctor kim came in, his nurse behind him and his clipboard in his hands. "are you ready?" the doctor asked, once the laughter died and they politely greeted the man again.

taehyung let go of jungkooks hands for the second time that day, hating it just as much but this time he stayed in his chair.

jungkook thought this would be the moment of all panic and all anxiety and all chaos breaking loose inside him, everything boiling over and the anticipation just being too much. he's spent years waiting for something like this — but as he sat up, hands folded gently in his lap and eyelids closed beneath the bandages, jungkook felt calmer than ever.

he heard his breaths, softly in and out, in and out. he heard the beating of his heart, steady and in rhythm, making sure he stayed alive long enough to be here for this. jungkooks mind was blank, a white canvas absent of any thought or doubt. he was ready.

doctor kim leaned over and gently started to work the edge of the bandages from his skin, peeling the tape back carefully to reveal long lashes sitting pretty under dark eyebrows.

it's like the world was holding its breath, waiting for that moment to see those dark orbs open up and blink so brightly and they'd just know that he could see them seeing him see for the first time in so long.

jungkook thought his heart stopped for a second. there was no redo with this. once he opened his eyes that would define everything and he'd say goodbye to all the pain and sadness the last two years had brought. for a second he didn't think he could do it.

and then he felt taehyungs hand again, and he heard his own soft breathing, in and out.

he blinked. and then he blinked again. eyelashes fluttered but the view didn't change. it was as dark as the pit he felt himself falling into, that urge to vomit coming fast and clawing its way up his throat.

taehyung just knew by the way he bit into the inside of his cheek, the few tears that built up in his broken eyes. namjoons head fell, jins hands covered the males fists sitting at his sides. it was so unfair — the only thought they were all thinking, how could the doctor be so sure and then it not work.

"it's okay." jungkook said, a tight lipped smile as he blinked rapidly in a lame attempt to keep those dumb tears from painting his cheeks. they couldn't fall, not now. if they did there would be no stopping it.

doctor kim shook his head, "it makes no sense. the tumor was destroyed." he said. the nurse handed his the clipboard, eyes scanning the sheets and different scenarios running through that scientific mind of his to find a solution. there was no way it couldn't have worked.

"i'm sorry baby-" taehyung tried to say, but the ravenette just shook his head and took his hand away to fold them back in his lap. "don't." was all jungkook said, "please."

doctor kim came back to the side of the bed and pulled out a small flashlight from the pocket of his coat, "i want to take a look," he said, waiting for the boy to nod before shining the light into his eyes and checking for any signs that might reveal something.

the flashlight was put away, and the doctor kindly asked him to close his eyes. jungkook just robotically nodded.

doctor kim presses his thumbs against the boys eyes, gentle but firm enough to feel them. he stepped back and turned to the nurse, "i'd like to try latanoprost. jungkook, you're eyes are harder than they should be, which could indicate the development of glaucoma."

the nurse still seemed unsure, but it was her job to do as she was told. it was only a matter of minutes before she returned with the bottle and handed it to the doctor. "lean back." he instructed.

the drops fell into jungkooks eyes, mingling with the tears and both wondering why the other was there. everyone felt lost.

"that will help with the hardness and then sight should come back." doctor kim said, he put the bottle in his pocket and stepped back from the bed. it wouldn't take long, but right now jungkook didn't really care or want to know.

it wasn't as exciting to see the results, not after a knock out like that. jungkook didn't care if his sight came back or if his eyes had glaucoma or if he was left alone for the rest of his life. it didn't matter. disappointment always came his way, and he might as well run with it and make the darkness his friend.

so he did, and he rolled over, pulling the covers up as high as he could to his chin. jungkook closed his eyes to sleep, and he drifted into the black abyss of his mind that had been hiding behind the hope for far too long.

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