Johnlock Oneshots (Requests are closed)

Why doesn't it bother you?

"You two make such a cute couple." The waitress said smiling.

John internally winced that was the fifth one this week.

"No, sorry, we're not, I'm not." He paused, taking a breath. "I'm not gay."

She frowned a bit. "Well, nothing wrong with it." She said walking off in a huff.

John turned to Sherlock who looked completely unfazed. "Why doesn't it bother you?"

Sherlock looked up. "What? That you have just pissed off a young lady who has a girlfriend?"

John rolled his eyes. "No." He paused feeling a little guilty. It really was all fine he just wasn't gay. "I should probably apologize." He sighed.

"You should." Sherlock stared, twirling his fork. His food remained untouched. John felt stupid to order for his flatmate but he hadn't eaten anything but tea and biscuits is three days.

"You don't apologize when you deduce someone to tears." John pointed out. Sherlock looked unimpressed and returned to staring at his food. "Why doesn't it bother you that people think we're a couple?"

Sherlock raised his eyes. "We are sitting in a restaurant eating a meal together." He pointed to a boy and a girl who sat a couple of tables away. They were laughing at something. "Do you think those two are a good couple?"

John frowned. He didn't know where this was heading. "Well yes."

"Wrong," Sherlock stated. "They are best friends. The boy is in a long term relationship with another girl. They've been together two or three years. He's planning on proposing soon. The girl is going to marry someone judging by the ring. Judging by the pins in her purse the person is non-binary. She has a pin of the flag but she herself is female considering her shirt which would give most of the binary less community dysphoria. Her shirt says something empowering about women. Most likely directed at herself. Now those two." He pointed at two females giggling. "Those two have been married for five years."

John gaped at him. "You're point is?"

"You would have thought they were just friends because they are of the same sex. You see two people eating together, having fun and complementing each other you tend to think they are a couple. The only thing that bothers me when someone asks is when you nearly scream at the top of your lungs that you aren't gay. A simple we aren't together would suffice."

John swallowed. Sherlock was glaring at him the same way he glared at Anderson. "I just don't like people assuming my sexuality."

Sherlock scoffed. "You have it easy John most people with assuming you are heterosexual. Everyone does. The minute a child is born they are considered cis-gender and straight. Until the kid says otherwise and that's still not a guarantee." He paused. "Do you remember Alex?"

John nodded. Alex was a spunky person they had met on a case. Their girlfriend was the main suspect and Alex nearly killed Lestrand when he wouldn't let them see her.

John remembered them fondly. After Sherlock had shot an insult about their deodorant being men's because they wanted to fight the gender norm they had just responded with a quip about Sherlock's hair product. "You can not tell me that you don't use products supposedly for females. There is no way you got it that shiny without those." They had said.

Sherlock had just laughed and smiled. "And as for my deodorant, the ones that are labelled for men's are stronger and have a much less floral scent."

Eventually, Sherlock had cleared their girlfriend's name. Alex was overjoyed. Sherlock also got them to apologize for jumping at Lestrand. John stifled a laugh. They had a lot of sarcastic comments to share. One of his favourites was the one about Lestrand dating Mycroft. "You're dating the bloody British government and you still can't get the love of my life out of a prison cell?" They had shrieked.

"Yeah," John said. "Why?"

"They were considered female for fifteen years. When they did come out their parents told them that as long as they had a females body they would be their daughter. They were told from a young age that they would grow into a beautiful woman and marry a handsome man."

John looked at the ground. "I had no idea." He whispered.

"Don't assume anything John. Yes, it's a bit rude for people to assume that we are a couple but honestly the way you look at me."

"The way I look at you?"

"Like I hung the stars," Sherlocks said quietly.

"I do?" He asked. He hadn't realized he was doing that.

"Yeah," Sherlock said looking away.

John sighed. "I didn't know this was such a big thing for you."

Sherlock sighed. "John I myself am gay."

John's eyes widened. "You are?"

"Yes I, Sherlock Holmes am a raging homosexual."

John chuckled at the wording. "Sorry just didn't know. Not surprising really. I've caught you looking at guys. Honestly, I suspected it." John said, smiling at his friend.

"You're not homophobic." He stated. 

John shook his head. "My father was. I guess it's just a reflex. And well I do suppose that I have a little internalized homophobia. Sorry, Sherlock, I didn't realize. God from your standpoint I must be such an arsehole."

Sherlock smiled. "Thank you."

John shook his head. "What are you saying thank you for?"

"You are fine with me being gay. I thought it would make you uncomfortable. I thought you would leave." The happiness left Sherlock's eyes slowly as he spoke.

John put his hand over Sherlock's hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze. "I said it's all fine. I'm sorry I do that, I don't have an excuse. My father was terribly mad at my sister for having a girlfriend. He monitored my dating life. I almost married a woman because he wanted me to." He sighed. "I'm glad I didn't."

Sherlock tilted his head. "Why?"

"Cause then I wouldn't have met you." He took a deep breath. "No I'm not gay but as you put it I guess I am a raging bisexual."

Sherlock grinned. "I knew it!" He exclaimed.

John smiled happily as Sherlock's eyes lit up. "Come on. Let's go home." John said. He wanted to discuss this further but he didn't want the entire restaurant to hear.

"After you apologize to the waitress."

John nodded. "After I say sorry for being an arsehole which you never do."

Sherlock smiled. "I'm sorry."

John nodded. "I'm sorry too."

They smiled at each other. Neither knew the confessions that would come later that night. Both were happy right there. Everyone deserves happiness as long as they are a kind person, no matter the gender, sexuality or race they all deserve to be happy.