HOMOPHOBIA | SoonHoon (Under Editing)

eight

woozi decided to go home to his apartment while the party is still going on. even though there is a lot of room inside the mansion, he can't get over the fact that he saw hoshi in that situation, in that fucking house. and the upbeat music will not help at all. so he decided to just take a break and to leave the boys then be back in the morning. it's unfair to the others that he'll reason out having a work while the others waited patiently for their break just to hear that from woozi? that's a big no no.

as soon as he opened the door, he took off everything that he's wearing except for his boxers. he turned on the shower and slowly drowned himself in his bathtub.

he's wondering how he ended up being gay. he even tried kissing other girls, he even hanged out with them but no sparks. he's not excited, he's not even thrilled to have sex with one of his girlfriends in the past. either he was slapped or get insulted.

one time he was about to have sex again with a girl actually, to try if he'll get excited but no. there is no feeling, there is no excitement. not even a flash of interest. that's when he finally decided to stop. he's not into girls. he's not into anything. not when a guy in this bar grabbed him inside one of the bathrooms and they made out and even sucked each other's out. but that's just one time thing. he even regret doing that with a stranger but maybe that helped him release his frustrations and he confirmed that he's gay.

as he was about to fall asleep, his phone rang and he stood up, finishing his bath and drying his hair to redial wonwoo's number who happened to call awhile ago.

"sup?"

"don't sup me, lee jihoon. i haven't paused myself from writing my book to not have you here in our party. where the fuck are you!"

"okay since you know everything about me. i came home. i can't be there to just witness hoshi having sex with a girl"

"so now you're telling me you're not just gay? but you like hoshi too. the fuck? he's a literal homophobic! you gotta stop that!"

"i'm still figuring everything out, wonwoo. i don't know if i like him but i'm confused okay? so just tell them that you don't know where i went. telling them that i went home will not help. i'll be back in the morning"

"go back here early. i'm gonna try my best to cover you up. you gotta figure this out tonight! i don't want you to get hurt. i'm worried okay?"

"i know. i love you too"

"okay mingyu's here. gotta go"

as soon as the call ended. woozi flopped down on his bed and just like that, he was in deep sleep.

-

a loud blaring alarm clock woke woozi up. he was so angry at the clock that he threw it all the way across the room. mood swings? okay maybe not. but he realized that he have to go back to the mansion to meet the boys. so he stood up, brushed his teeth, washed his face and he changed into something pretty comfortable. then he took his keys and his phone and he started to drove to the mansion. it was literally 6am and he's still sleepy, yawning here, yawning there.

as soon as he arrived. the whole mansion was already cleared and clean. so he assumed that everyone was still sleeping in one of the bedrooms.

when he was about to check the kitchen, jeonghan was there. eating with his eyes closed.

"hyung? why are you up so early?" he asked and sat across the still sleeping, eating guy.

"i made a hangover soup and some ramen. go eat your breakfast. i can't even speak because my head fucking hurts. oh gosh i miss my kids" he replied and as a respectful jihoon grabbed himself a bowl of food and ate with jeonghan.

"it seems like you slept in your apartment. something happened that made you want to go home? spill it" jeonghan said and he lowered his head.

"hyung are you going to be mad at me if ever i'm gay? look. i'm saying this to you because i trust you. i mean i wanted to trust you even though i'm not even sure if you'll accept me but i'm still hoping" this time, woozi was confident about him being gay and he was confident because he always knew jeonghan will accept him.

"what!?" with that reaction, woozi was so damn scared at the moment but he felt an arms wrapped around his body. jeonghan hugged him. "oh poor boy. i'm so sorry that you felt that you have to be scared coming out. jihoon i'm your bestfriend. even if i hate gays, i won't hate you. you are different. but don't get me wrong. i love gays. i love everyone and i accept everyone. that's what i'm teaching my kids. and i don't like them growing up to the idea that being gay was a disease. it's a gift woozi. don't let it get in your way. being gay is a blessing and a gift, okay?"

"t-thanks hyung. i mean, i didn't expect that coming. i'm scared that i don't know when to come out. my parents know and they support me because you know, my big brother's gay too" he said and he started to eat his breakfast with a smile.

"don't worry woozi. i'm bi-sexual. i mean, who doesn't enjoy both sexuality? of course i'm kidding. but i just know i'm bi-sexual even though i did not engage myself to be in a relationship with a boy, yet. but i'm sure so you don't have to worry"

"lee jihoon!!" wonwoo then ran to woozi just to smack his head. "next time you do that make sure you have a back up plan! everyone almost killed me and they are all asking me where you are!"

"okay no need to shout, wonwoo. have a seat and i'll give you a breakfast"

"wonwoo knows too, hyung. i mean.... we're the same. and i think we can't come out to all of you yet. please keep this for us hyung. we will appreciate it if you give us time to tell them" however, wonwoo on their side was surprised.

"wonwoo, jihoon, i love you both so much. but please don't let this wait for too long. the most important here is you gotta tell them and you have to be what you are. you can't hide forever. no matter what they'll say, they support you or not, you gotta prioritize your happiness. don't think of it as a bad thing. we're like this because this is what we are. learn to embrace and be proud of it" jeonghan said giving both of them a hug. "i'll try to keep this to myself and i will give you time. although you don't have to say it to them like it was an obligation or responsibility. but you gotta tell them, for them to be aware. not for you to be accepted. because we can't change a person's perspective, thus let us be a reason for them to change"

all of them came, and they all sat down not talking to each other. maybe because they are all still drunk and not able to be into communicating session.

"woozi, where have you been last night? this house is big and i happened to lost you" hoshi then asked woozi. he wants high kick the other but he can't just be obvious that he was jealous.

you lost me? or you were lost by someone's pussy? you motherfucker.

he kinda laughed in his head by saying that but he just stared at his food. "i was with my brother's gang and i happened to enjoy their company" he lied.

"okay how about we have a barbecue party tonight? just like the usual. playing games, having fun. you know? good old times" jisoo suggested and they all agreed.

"i mean, you have the whole house for you guys but i have to check the cafe and the tracks. i'm probably home before the party starts or maybe later than that. i'm sorry i couldn't have a proper leave. i know you waited for this but i promise to be here when the party starts" jihoon said, lying again. he just wants to be away with hoshi for a moment.

"it's okay. not all of us are always free. i mean, if you're going to be here when the party starts then it's okay. we'll get to be staying here at your place anyways" seungcheol said and jihoon stood up.

"i guess i gotta go. see you later" he said and put away his dishes on the sink.

he can feel hoshi's gaze but he didn't even glance at him. he's hurt, okay? and he can't afford to look at him and smile at him. he doesn't want to be a masochist.