Save me- Lashton

Chapter 16

-Luke's P.O.V-

"Luke are you sure you're going to be okay on your own tonight?" Cal asks for he hundredth time as we pull up to my, once again, empty house.

"Yes Cal, I will be fine." I reply, while unbuckling my seatbelt.

He sighs before saying, "Okay Lukey, but promise you'll call if you need me okay?"

I nod my head, although knowing I won't.

"Thanks Cal, for everything today." I say sincerely

He shakes his head with a small smile, "Always Luke, you're my best friend and I really do love you. Okay?" He insists.

I nod and reply, "I love you too Cal Pal, you know I do."

"I'll see you tomorrow, bye Luke." Cal says to me as I get out the car.

I silently wave as I walk into my house. As soon as the door is closed, I pull up my sleeves up revelling the deep cuts that are embedded soundly in my skin.

There's 5 of them, but they aren't like the other ones, the other ones weren't as deep. It scares me what I can do, and how close I can be to just ending it all. I have the control to do it, but at the same time, I suppose I don't. It's the bad thoughts that have control, when it gets too much and they become too loud, I always go back to the blade.

I shake my head and clear it of the thoughts, I pull my sleeve back down and take a mental note to remind myself to clean it up properly soon.

I walk into the empty kitchen, no signs of anyone else even living here as I begin to make some food.

I put a pizza in the oven and sit at the table, thinking about how everything has changed over the past week, if that.

Ashton comes along, making me think things I didn't even know I felt. Then he actually makes me feel happy, which I thought only Cal would be able to do. Calum seems to be even more worried about me then he has since he found out, and it scares me. As much as I want to tell him, I know I can't, I can't burden him even more than I already do.

Then there is Michael, who seems to be able joke about all the time and be happy. And I honestly love that about him because no matter what he seemed happy. And I know I've only just met him, and Ash, but I'm happy we're friends.

And this weekend I think will be fun. And they want me and Cal in a band, like that's crazy. I've never really thought properly about it because I've never thought I was good enough. I still don't but I don't want to let them down, even if I do embarrass myself in front of a lot of people.

The timer goes off, snapping me from my thoughts, and the aroma of the pizza floods my senses, making a smile linger on my face. I love pizza.

-

After eating my pizza, I head upstairs and into my room.

I sigh, seeing I have to put new sheets on my bed.

I do that, then head into my bathroom where I shower and clean up my arm, that stings slightly as the soap seeps into the still fresh wounds.

-

I lay on bed and grab my phone, deciding to make a chat.

Pizza is da best

I smile at the name and add all the boys to it.

Me- Hey.

Ash- Hey Luke, nice group chat name.

Mikey- Ya Lukey, I agree with the statement made. Pizza is amazing.

Cal- Ayyy da bois.

Me- Calum. No.

Cal- Did you- did you just use my full name. :'(

Mikey- #DramaAlert

Me- Sorry Cal Pal.

Ash- Ohhh Cal Pal is a new one.

Cal- It's okay Lukey, I forgive you. And it's not Ash, and you two are yet to be allowed to call me Cal Pal.

Mikey- But Cal Pallllllll

Me- Anyway, what are we gonna do tomorrow?

Ash- Well I was thinking we could just hangout for the day and play some music together.

Mikey- Yeah, I agree. You guys can all come over if you want, just bring the instruments. We normally always practice in my garage. And if you guys want, my mum won't mind if you all stay the night.

Cal- Ohhh I'm down.

Me- Yeah, it sounds good.

He probably doesn't want me there though; he is just being nice.

Ash- All good with me.

Mikey- Nice, I'll text you my address in the morning. Come at like 10?

Me- So early, but fineee.

Ash- We gotta spend time together Lukey, it'll be fun.

Cal- It will, and I'll come pick you up Luke.

Mikey- I'm with Ash on this, we need to chill together.

Me- Thanks Cal, and yeah okay, I just like sleep.

Mikey- Samee, and on that note. Goodnight guys, see ya tomorrow.

Ash- Goodnight.

Me- Night guys.

Cal- Night.

I put my phone down after that, a small smile on my lips. I can hear the bad thoughts trying to swamp me and make me feel like they don't care. And, a part of me knows they might be true, but I don't have the heart to care anymore. I'm so tired of never being happy, and I know how selfish it is now, but I still never want to wake up when I fall asleep.

I know the chances of that happening are slim to none, but I can hope.

I push the thoughts back even further, wanting to drown them out this once so I can possibly enjoy myself.

I shut off the lights and crawl under the covers, falling into a deep sleep.