Save me- Lashton

Chapter 41

Three months has passed since then.

And sadly not much has changed.

Calum still thinks I'm clean, but in reality, my thighs are now covered in cuts and scars. Don't get me wrong, I've tried so hard to stop. And sometimes I could last at least a couple weeks, but my thoughts consume me and make it so hard to just put the blade down and be okay.

It hasn't helped either that they're all still being secretive like they're talking about me behind my back. I want to confront them about it and ask what they're doing, but part of me thinks maybe I'll end up in the wrong and that maybe they're not doing anything wrong and it's just my imagination making me think they're doing something.

Today is Monday but we have a day off today, which I am partially grateful for but not also. I'm grateful because no school, and I can sleep longer. But I wanted to see Calum and not drown in my thoughts when I'm alone.

Recently the band has grown massively, most of, if not all our videos hit 1 million views within a day of being released and nearing 2 million subscribers. We've all made new accounts on Instagram and Twitter, and they have also grown crazy amounts.

Now when we perform on a Saturday, we are the main group and we play the most songs. Some fans have come from far away and it honestly freaks me out that we've been able to do this. We have also played invisible, but I decided I didn't want to sing it as it made me too emotional, so Calum sings it on his own.

Everyone has also been writing new songs but none of them have been released yet.

Ash and I's relationship is still as strong as ever, even with my doubts, and whenever I'm with him he is able to make my problems vanish and make me feel warm and safe. And Pengy of course is always there when we go to sleep, and band practice because after all, he is apart of the band.

-

I was about to fall back to back sleep when a shout startles me awake.

"LUCAS ROBERT HEMMINGS, GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT." I hear my so-called mother shout.

Fear constricts me at what she has to say. She, nor my 'dad' have actually spoken to me for a long time now. And she sounds angry. Really angry.

I pull myself out of bed, wearing my hoodie and joggers and head down the stairs to see my 'mother' and 'father' stood there with anger and disapproving looks.

"Yeah?" I ask quietly once I'm stood in front of them.

Their glares go straight into my soul, making me want to shrink away. A parent's gaze on their child is nearly always soft and full of love; yet, when I look into my parent's eyes all I see is hatred and disgust, with no love in sight.

"Did you think we wouldn't find out." My dad growls out at me.

I take a tentative step back, feeling more fear than ever. Did they know Ash and I were together; I've always known they don't like it.

"Find w-what out?" I stutter, trying to keep my cool.

They both roll their eyes, "that you're in this so-called band or something." My mum scoffs.

I almost sigh in relief until I notice just how angry they are at me.

"Well, I-I didn't think it would matter." I try to reason.

"Whatever, it's not like you'll ever get anywhere with it. I mean, maybe your friends might, but you just bring them down. Just like you bring down this family." My mum says, glaring harshly in my direction.

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and blink back the tears that threaten to fall. I know she is right; I've always known it.

"I'm sorry." I mumble

"You're always sorry. But that can't take back the mistake we made, which was you." My dad replies, with my mum nodding.

I take a steadying breath and walk away, not wanting to talk to them anymore. I agree with them though, I was a mistake, and I know I mess everything up. They don't have to remind me to let me know, I've known for so long now.

As I get upstairs, I was about to walk to the bathroom to ease the pain in my head when my phone buzzed.

Cal- I'll be over in 5 to pick you up. Be comfy and bring Pengy, it's movie time.

I smile at that, even with how horrible my parents are and my thoughts, Calum always knows when to help.

I decide to stay how I'm dressed and wait until Calum arrives, knowing I've been saved from doing something I promised I wouldn't, but my mind desperately screams for.

A few minutes pass when I hear a car horn from outside. I know it's Cal so I grab Pengy and my guitar and race down the stairs, ignoring the looks my parents give me and throw my shoes on before leaving.

I get into the car and look to Cal, who smile widely at me.

"Hey Penguin, you okay?" He asks as we begin the drive to his house.

I shrug lightly and reply, "My parents are just idiots."

I can see Calum frown and he says, "Tell me when we get to mine okay."

Nodding I mumble, "Pengy and I are ready for the movies." As I say this I sit Pengy on my lap and pat him head lightly.

Calum laughs, making me smile as well, "Like we've all said. Pengy is part of the band; so of course he is welcome to the movie day." Calum laughs.

I make Pengy cheer before looking out the window with a small smile etched onto my face.

-

We sit on Calum's sofa, with Pengy in the middle of us both and my guitar in the corner.

"What did they do?" Cal asks, making me look to him.

"They just- they said some mean things about me being in the band. And that I was a mistake, things like that." I murmur.

An angry sigh is released from Calum and he shakes his head, "I swear to God. I hate your parents so much. Don't listen to them at all okay Lukey, you're amazing and definitely not a mistake. You make so many people happy, me included. That there is no physical way for you to be a mistake. Your parents don't deserve you, not one bit. So never, ever listen to them."

I smile softly at him, not one hundred percent believing him, but not voicing it.

"Thanks Cal Pal, you're my best friend." I say in a happy tone.

Calum beams brightly replying, "And your mine Lukey. I love you so much."

"I love you too." I say back, happy that he is my best friend.

"Avengers marathon?" He asks looking at me with a raised brow.

I chuckle and nod, "You know me so well."

Calum scoffs lightly and replies, "Of course I do. You and I went to all of them together."

I smile at all the memories of him and I going to the cinema when we were younger to watch all the new films that came out. We were always so excited and would have masses of food with us to chow down on. And sometimes people would get so annoyed at us for being so loud when we ate, but what do they expect, we were young, hungry and excited. Not a good combo.

-

As the end credits roll on the third film, I look to Calum who is beside me. "Cal, what do you think will happen with the band?" I question.

Calum turns to me with a questioning look, "What do you mean Lukey?"

"Well, it's just; we're starting to get noticed, and I was just thinking like would anything ever come of what we are doing, or would it be like a side thing." I say, wondering if this could ever be our full-time job.

Calum shrugs and replies, "I know where you're coming from, I think the same. But I think we'll just have to wait and see where it takes us. And if everyone would want to do it as a full-time job."

I nod in agreement and turn back to the screen, letting my mind wander to my boyfriend who I really want to cuddle right now.

Wednesday. Wednesday is when I can see him properly again, I think to myself.