Save me- Lashton

Chapter 23

-Luke's P.O.V-

"Isn't that your parents' car?" Cal ask as we pull up outside my house.

I sigh when I see that and nod saying, "Yeah, I think it is at least."

Cal looks at me with slight worry in his eyes, "Are you going to be okay Lukey, or do you want me to come in with you?"

A big part of me wants him to come with me, so I don't have to face the hatred in my parent's eyes when they look at me or be alone with my thoughts once again. But I know I have no right to ask that, he has already done enough for me.

"It's alright Cal, thanks though." I say rather reluctantly.

He nods and replies, "Okay Lukey, I'll see you tomorrow okay."

"Yeah Cal Pal, see you tomorrow." I voice before leaving the car, my bag and guitar in hand.

Watching reluctantly as Cal pulls away and drives away, leaving me to this so-called place I have to call home, I pray to everything and everyone he turns back. But nonetheless he doesn't, so, I turn to the door and open it before stepping into the house.

The house still feels just as cold, even though there are people here. I noticed at Mikey's it's warm there, not like heat. But the house seems full of love and happiness, but here, although it's warm, there is no love evident in anything. Everything is so fake now.

Silently setting my belongings on the floor I pad my way into the kitchen where I hear my 'parents' voices.

"Hi." I whisper when I get into the kitchen.

'Dad' acknowledges me with a glance up from his paper and an eye roll, making me shrink back slightly.

"Where were you?" 'Mum' questions, her voice ice cold.

"I was with my f-friends." I stutter out.

'Mum' looks up at me with a slight glare, "I, nor your father, remember giving you permission to leave." She scolded.

I gulp a little, "You weren't here." I confessed.

'Dad' slams his mug down on the counter and looks up to me, hatred and venom lacing his eyes.

"Don't you dare speak to your mother like that, young boy." He screams at me, making me flinch at how loud he was.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." I mumble, wanting nothing more than to run out the door and go to Mikey, Cal or Ash. I could really do with an Ashy bear hug right about now.

'Dad' scoffs in response while mum says, "You know what, we don't care if you leave. Whatever, it's better without you around anyway."

It feels like my heart stops beating and the world stops spinning, my own parents don't want me around. And if my own parents wouldn't want me around, how would anyone else want me around.

"I'm sorry." I whisper before silently leaving, knowing I'm not wanted.

Grabbing my things, I haul them up the stairs and into my room before collapsing onto my bed.

Thankfully, I had eaten at Mikey's because I know there is no way I'm going back down there tonight with them around.

I don't understand what I did wrong to make them hate me. But at the same time, I think it's just me, even I don't like myself so how would I expect others to like me.

'Everybody hates you, your parents just voice it.'

'It would be better if you were dead.'

'You're a disappointment, and you know it.'

'Everyone will hate your singing.'

I squeeze my eyes shut and play some music. It's already about 4 in the afternoon and I'm tired, so I try to sleep, knowing it will stop the thoughts for at least a while.

-

Groggily I wake up, missing having Ash beside me when I wake up. But I know he probably hated it, and it's not like I deserve any of it.

My phone vibrates on my bedside table and I look over and see it's 6:30.

I pick up my phone and see they're talking on the group chat.

Pizza is da best

Ash- Guys I miss youuuuu

Cal- I miss you too ☹

Mikey- Yeah guys come back. Also, I'm about to upload the video.

Cal- Yeahhhhhhh

Ash- Lukeyyyy, where are you???????? ☹

Mikey- Luke, we all miss you.

Cal- Lukey, you okay?

Ash- Oh God, Luke you better be okay.

Mikey- Yeah we love you.

Cal- We love you loads.

Me- Guys, I'm fine I just fell asleep.

Me- And I miss you guys and love you all too.

Ash- Oh thank fuck, please never scare me like that again.

Cal- I'm with Ash on that one.

Mikey- Same. Also, it is official. 5 Seconds of summer now has a cover posted.

Cal- Heck yessss.

Me- Whoop whoop.

Ash- I'm so proud of us all guys.

Me- I'll talk to you all later, gotta do something.

Mikey- Bye Lukey.

Cal- See ya later Luke

Ash- Bye Lukey, miss you already.

I smile slightly at what they said, but my smile is soon gone as the reality of everything crashes down around me. People can now see me singing, they can now openly judge me and hate me.

I clench my fists as I begin to overthink everything.

And just like that, I'm back in the bathroom with my blade in hand, blood dripping down my arm and tears streaking my face.

'You deserve it.'

I don't cut too deep, even though I want to. But even when I slice it across my skin, hazel eyes shine in my head and I can see dimples.

I sigh as I look down at my wrist, seeing the blood cascade out of all the cuts. I love yet hate cutting. I love it because it makes me feel better, and I know I deserve it. But I hate it, because I hate having to hide it and lie to Cal that I've stopped and that I am in fact okay. When I'm actually far from it.

Placing the blade down I wash my arm off and leave my hoodie off for the night.

Wiping away the final tears I wander into my room and collapse onto bed, not even bothering to check my phone before falling back to sleep.