Save me- Lashton

Chapter 45

We all clamber into the bus, and I feel a wave of excitement wash over me as I see how awesome and big it is.

I place my things down and follow the others as we make our way through the bus.

The first thing you see if a 'living room' sort of thing, there is a sofa on one side with a tv on the other side.

"This is so cool." Mikey says, sounding excited, which is exactly how we all feel.

Next is a kitchen, it has a small fridge and a little counter. The fridge has a bit of food in, and we got told we could stop at a shop to get some more food.

There is a door and when Ash opens it there is a small bathroom with a shower in it.

"Shower!" Calum cheers making me laugh.

There is a door with a button on it and I quickly push it making Ash laugh and wrap his arms around me. I lean back into him as the door slides open, revealing 6 sets of bunks.

We all rush forward and pick our bunks.

"How we gonna cuddle." Ash pouts looking at me.

I think for a minute then push him in and lay beside him, with my head on his chest and our legs pressed together. "Like this." I whisper.

He kisses my forehead and mumbles, "It's perfect."

"Come on lovebirds, there's more." Calum calls out from one of the bunks.

We jump up and there is another door with a button on that Michael pushes. In there is a room with a tv and an Xbox there. There are sofa's all around it, that look very comfy.

"This is so cool." Mikey breaths out.

"It really is." I say in shock.

"And it's ours." Ash says proudly.

-

After travelling for a few hours we arrive at our venue. I look outside to see fans outside shouting our names.

"Woahhh." Cal says looking at all the people out there.

"Come on." Ash whispers in my ear, taking my hand in his.

When we get outside the first thing to reach my senses are the shouting and cheering. I look around and wave to some people who look very happy and holding up different signs. One says, 'We love you 5sos.' And it makes me smile brightly seeing it.

"Do we have a show today?" I ask as we grab some things for later.

Ashton hums and says, "Yeah, although it's not for another few hours and we have rehearsals."

I nod and I follow him with Mikey and Cal beside me as well.

-

We had done rehearsals and still had a few hours to waste. I was feeling a lot better now, but still on the edge. We were all sat in the dressing room messing about with some instruments when I remembered something.

"Guys." I say rather sadly catching everyone's attention.

"What is it babe?" Ash asks worriedly from beside me, an arm coming around to wrap me in a protective bubble.

I make my lip tremble and say, "I left Pengy on the bus."

Everyone gasps and Mikey stands quickly, "Come on Penguin, we shall not be leaving a part of our band out of our first performance."

Everyone laughs and I smile, but look down at my arms, feeling the ache in my wrists that I would usually feel after I had taken the blade to my skin. I saw Ash and Cal look at me, and sadness wrap itself around Calum's eyes, while worry does the same to Ash's eyes.

"Okay." I say standing up and following Michael.

Once we shut the door and begin to walk, I say, "Mikey, why do you think Cal and Ash always give each other looks?"

Michael looks at me and thinks for a moment before saying, "I'm not sure honestly. I think it might have something to do with you actually, but I was never brought into the loop of what was wrong. Don't worry, I don't think it's anything bad."

I nod and say, "Okay thanks."

He beams at me and we make it back to the bus where Pengy was. I quickly grab him and my backpack which I didn't take.

"Got him." I cheer when I get back to Mikey.

He pats Pengy on the head with a smile and says, "Good, I need to go talk to Milo really quick. Will you be okay going back on your own?"

I nod and say, "Yeah I'll be okay. See you soon."

We both walk in different directions and I hold Pengy close to me- there were no more fans about so I didn't care- and I made my way back to the dressing room.

Just as I was about to walk in I heard Ash saying something to Calum.

"Calum. Just tell me okay, because I don't like Luke, not the way I like you." That's all I can hear before I'm running. Pengy feel from my hands and all I can do is keep going. I hear Mikey shout my name but I don't listen or stop.

They lied to me.

Ash doesn't want me. Why would he. He wants to be with Calum, and it doesn't surprise me. Calum is so much better than me, he always will be.

My parents were right, I shouldn't be around anymore. No one likes me, no one needs me.

I'm no one, and everyone would be better off without me.

I collapse into a bathroom and lock the door behind me.

'You deserve it, you knew it was coming. So just do it.'

'End it all, everyone would be better without you.'

'You won't be missed.'

'Do one thing right in your life. Kill yourself.'

Tears stream down my face, and I choke on a sob. I know it's the right thing to do.

I rip the blade from my bag and look at the metal in my shaking hand.

"I deserve it." I mumble.