Alexithymia

*Almost*

Monique's POV

 "Saan ba kasi tayo pupunta?"

"Uh---- Sa rooftop niyo," sabi niya. "Kaya huwag kang maingay at baka marinig tayo ng mama mo."

 "Huh? Bakit sa rooftop?"

"Dami mong tanong eh," sabi ni Welvic complaining.

"Eh, kasi napakaweirdo mo!" sabi ko.

Umakyat kami sa isang branch ng puno katabi malapit sa bintana ko. Tinulungan niya akong makaakyat, hanggang nasa itaas na kami ng rooftop ng bahay namin.

"Oh? Anong gagawin natin---" napatigil akong ituloy ang pangungusap ko ng bigla niya akong hinalikan.

That made me shock. But it made me felt love. My mouth shaped into an 'O', bakit niya yung ginawa? Gago ba siya? Diba may nobya na siya- duh? Si Tricia! Hays.

"Bat mo yun ginawa?" tanong ko.

 "Diba girlfriend kita?" tanong niya.

"Huh? Pe---Pero," sabi kong nauutal.

"Shhhhh... Dance with me," sabi niya reaching out his hand. He lifted it and place it againsts his neck and then the other, while he put his hands around my waist. He started to hum a song then started to sway his body making us dance.

 "Diba kinalimutan mo na ako," sabi ko.

"A---anong kinalimutan? Hindi ko kakalimutan ang taong pinakamamahal ko," sabi niya.

 "Panaginip ba to?"

"Ano sa tingin mo?" tanong niya.

I hugged him. "Di bale na kung panaginip ba to o hindi. Ang importante, nayayakap kita... Nahahawakan...----" I kissed him.  "-----Nahahalikan... Gaya nung dati."

"I really love you baby," sabi niya.

"And I also love you," sabi ko.

He continued to sway and we were dancing, slowly. Trying to enjoy the night. Sana nga ganito nalang parati, parati kong kasayaw si Welvic, kaagapay sa pagtanda, ny eternity.

 We sat for a few minute, laughing at each other's jokes. Minamasdan ang himpapawid, binibilang ang bituin habang niyayakap ang isa't-isa.

"Tara na?" sabi niya. "Ibabalik na kita."

"Huh? Can't we just stay like this forever?" tanong ko.

 "I believe that would ruin tge run through of your life baby," sabi niya.

"But I don't want that life. I want this. Us. You and me. Together." I tried to say those sentences in Staccato.

"Pero baby, kailangan mong harapin ang problema sa totoong buhay," sabi niya.

"Yeah but you'll forget me when I woke up from this dream," sabi ko, trying to tell him I don't want to wake up from this dream.

Unti-unti ay lumapit siya saakin then kiss me, "Baby. I. Love. You. At eto ang tandaan mo, no matter what trouble you may encounter, always remember that love conquers everything."

I smiled at him. "Well I guess I'll see you on the other side?"

"Okay Rea Monique."

"Shall you escort me to my bed, Lance Welvic?" I asked him.

"Double meaning," he grins. "Shall I make love or make escort?"

"Both?" I said sarcastically.

"Are seducing me baby?" sabi niya.

"I guess so..."

 "So--- shall we?" he escorted me to my bed in a bridal way.

Everything went slow. He slowly placed me to the bed, I was sitting right beside him looking fiercely at his brown buldging eye the same thing he does with mine.

"This will be our second time baby," sabi niya.

 "Everything's nicer the second time around," sabi ko.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" sabi niya.

"Baby, you've said that a hundredth times. If this is a dream I would never have, then I'll have to answer your question with a yes," sabi ko. "Just kiss me already."

"I really love you baby," sabi niya.

 He started to kiss me, I slowly move my body towards the tip my bed. Really slow, trying not to break the contact between our lips. He started to unbutton his shirt while I did mine, I know this was just a dream and I also know that I will never get this back again, this particular life I once had before.

We were so quiet doing our stuff, as if this was our first- but on the contrary this was our second time, and probably will be the last. He started to move his lips down; as he moves I slightly shuddered. He continued to move as his lips were back on top of mine. He was so good for me.

As my jaw clenches upon the touch of his lips I had a thought- I want this to happen. I want him back. I want everything back to be the way it was. I love him. This was the Welvic from before.

 We ended up resting. He was leaning his mascular strength againsts the wall while I was lying on his lap.

"It was such a nice night, wasn't it?" he asked.

 "Particularly because I am with you my love," sabi ko.

"Kinagat mo yung unan," sabi niya laughing.

"You were so strong. I can't handle your masculinity," sabi ko sarcastically.

"Well pulling my hair," sabi niya. "Come here."

Hinila niya ako papunta sa tabi niya. He rested me againsts his shoulder leaving me sniffing his scent- he smeled so good even though he was burden with sweat.

 "You should probably dress up?"

"Aalis ka na?" tanong ko.

"I should..." sabi niya habang kinukuha yung mga damit niya at para makapagbihis.

"I don't want you gone," I started to whine. Okay I was crying.

 "Don't cry," sabi niya. "You have to wake baby. Kailangan mong matanggap ang katotohanan, na hindi totoo yung mga nangyari sa'yo."

He sat beside me. He pulled my clothes and put it unto me, making me look elegant again. His lye on the bed beside me stroking my hair with his hand, he slowly hums a lullaby that made my eyes want to rest. In matter of fact I ended up sleeping- I don’t even know why am I sleeping in my dream. I was waked up by my mom the next day.

“Monique! Anak gising na!” sabi niya mula sa baba.

Woah! I was shocked to see that my bedroom was ruined. As if nadaganan ito ng bagyo, I hastily grabbed the pillow which I bit from my dream, it was still wet and oh--- it stinks. My dream, it seems so real.

I cried, not knowing the reason why.

Maybe because I really miss him that much.

Maybe he was right... Kailangan kong matanggap ang katotohanan, na hindi totoo yung mga nangyari saakin.

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