pages of attraction [kny x reader|oneshot]

shrug 1- kyoujurou (angst)

He can never shrug these emotions even if he tried. It filled the hole in his heart that he willfully buried.

___

When you and your spouse broke up because of their rampant cheating, you became a new person.

The meek, nerdy girl that rants about her fictional ships to him when the both of you are alone, and the one that fantasizes about going into a world in a game or books with him suddenly changed.

The girl that showed him a new perceptive in the joy behind other's works became someone else entirely.

You became... her.

Someone... he doesn't know.

Kyoujurou didn't know what to feel about that at first.

He knew people change fast when they're suffering - to improve or to forget themselves, he's no stranger with it. He saw how his father changed for the worst and he was there to observe throughout his transformation.

But you, you changed so fast that it made him stare dumbly at the footprints you left.

Kyoujurou was besides you the whole time in those last three years of college - ever since you two had a fateful partnership in a group project at English. Perhaps he was just bad at the subject, or that you're really good at it and was patient with him throughout the process – but you two easily hit it off like a snap of a finger.

You two were really close, and was often mistaken as couples. That would always put a blush on his face and something stuffy in his chest, but you would always laugh at it and tell people off as if it's hilarious for someone like him to date someone like you.

He thought of that time that you only see him as a friend, or maybe worse: a brother. And it would make him stare at the corner of his dorm for so long at the thought of you ever looking at him far from that.

Kyoujurou did accepted that; he would rather be with you and share fond memories and cuddles platonically than to risk ever losing you with his affection. He was dumb that time, and he knew how precious you were to him – but to think that his own seclusion of the idea of confessing to you was the reason why he lost you.

And just as easy as you two hit it off, it was as easy for you two to cleave far from each other; a single rift in your relationship growing larger and larger by the day.

The Rengoku didn't know why you haven't told him when you started dating that person, and he was shocked when you kept telling stories about them out of the blue in such a fond manner.

His pride was hurt, and so was ego – perhaps his feelings even more. He was so confused, he felt so frustrated, and depressed when you told him that you're truly dating someone.

Because he was there, and he still can't comprehend why would you look at someone else when he was there. He was there when you needed him, he was there when you don't – and he's willing to be with you through the ups and down only if you want him to.

But it was clear that you didn't, and it made his heart felt ripped apart like the rift in your relationship.

It was a sudden news for Kyoujurou, but he quickly adapted for you. He cared for you and even if you hurt him, you were his friends foremost until he caught feelings that he should have stubbornly avoid.

It was easier to pretend than to explain. At least, that was the case for him.

The Rengoku would always smile politely when you bring that person up and even if it makes him grit his teeth in annoyance, he would listen to you babble so fondly about them. Most of the time, he would drown your words out of his mind and stare down at you with yearning in his eyes that you were too busy to notice – and sometimes, often rarest of times; he would let himself imagine that you are talking about him and him alone even if he was the polar opposites of the person you're with.