Lead With The Worst of Me ~ A Treebros Fanfic (ConnorxEvan)

~10~

Evan's POV

"Jared y-you can't really j-just invite yourself to-to a party. I-I don't think i-it works like that?"

"It's fine Acorn. People tag along to parties all the time," Jared responds.

"O-oh o-okay." 

I guess he's right. In movies people are always inviting friends of friends to parties. But those are usually those really big parties with a ton of people getting drunk and stuff. This isn't one of those parties, thank god. But Connor never actually said that Jared couldn't come, right? So it's fine. I hope.

"Why is this party happening anyway?" Jared asks. 

"Um I d-don't know. Connor and I a-are getting c-cl-closer a-and I sometimes s-see Zoe h-hanging o-out with Alana in the, um, in the h-halls so I g-guess they're like, um, f-friends. And so I-I think they just w-wanted to, um, hang out or some-something."

"No shit Sherlock. I think that's kind of the point of a party."

Oh. Right. 

"Wait haven't you only hung out with Connor once? You're barely even friends."

Right. He didn't know it was a date either. Should I tell him? What if he's homophobic? He's gonna hate me. And think that I'm a freak. And he'll never talk to me again.

Jared gets that devilish smirk he has before he tells a joke. "Unless you're more than friends..." He wiggles his eyebrows. 

Shit. He knows. 

"Well, um, I-I-I Idon'treallyknowwhatweareweonlywentononedateandbithewayIlikegirlsand alsoguyspleasedon'thateme" (in case you couldn't read that it said "I don't really know what we are we only went on one date and BI the way I like girls and also guys please don't hate me")

Jared looks at me in shock. 

Say something, please Jared!

"So you're bi..." he says slowly. 

Yep he's homophobic oh no oh no. 

"And you're dating Connor fucking Murphy?!? Do you have a death wish? He's a freak! Why would you ever want to go out with Connor Murphy?!"

I-

My face goes red and I feel tears welling up in my eyes but I try hard to fight them from spilling over. I always tear up when people yell.  My heart pounds against my chest again and again and again. 

I knew this would happen why did I even say anything? Why did I have to like Connor? Why am I like this?

Words fail me.

He hates you. You're a freak just like he said. 

I feel a single tear roll down my cheek. 

No don't start crying Jared is already mad. Don't do this. 

I can  barely see Jared face anymore through the veil of water over my eyes. All I can register is his blurry figure moving past me towards the door. I hear footsteps running down the stairs and the front door slamming shut. 

You're never gonna see him again. It's over.

Tears rush down my face. I'm a mess. I stumble over to my bedside table and open the drawer. 

It's a miracle he's even stuck by you this long but now he's finally gone.  

I take out the small bottle of pills and pour them into my hand. 

All you're left with now is yourself. Your broken fucking self. And that's what you deserve. To be alone for forever.

I tilt my head back and shove the pills into my mouth.

My heartbeat echoes through my head. If I can possibly just get one thing right, that beating will finally end.

A/N ~ The angst is real. I'm so sorry.

Sincerely, Me