Lead With The Worst of Me ~ A Treebros Fanfic (ConnorxEvan)

~11~

Evan's POV 

I open my eyes to have my vision flooded with light. 

Slowly, my eyes adjust and I look around. 

I'm in a small room with white walls.

There's a small table beside me.

I'm laying on a bed-

Oh. I'm in a hospital again. 

And it didn't work... again.

A nurse walks into the room. 

"Oh you're awake! Wonderful. How are you feeling?" She asks.

Well my head feels like it weighs a ton and it hurts like hell for starters.

"I-I, um, I d-don't know. My, um, head h-hurts," I respond awkwardly. 

"Well that's no surprise, honey. Hold on now, you're mother is here and she wanted to see you when you woke up."

I wait a couple minutes before Mom comes rushing into the room. "Oh honey, you're awake thank god. I was so worried."

I can see her eyes prickling with tears which makes my eyes well up as well. 

"I-I'm s-sorry." I don't want her to worry about me. 

God, what were you thinking? You're so stupid. If she is crying now imagine what would have happened if you didn't wake up. You can't do that to her.

She kneels next to my bed.

"Just know that you can talk to me. Anytime. A-and know that I care about you. So much."

"Thanks Mom," I say thoughtfully.

I know she doesn't mean it though. She's always at work or taking classes. She's never home so I can't talk to her "aNyTiME." It's like she's just trying to get away from me all the time. 

No. She's just trying to make a better life for you, to provide for you. She's trying to help you.

I sigh.

I know I'm right. I need to stop thinking like that. 

"I called Jared's mother to let him know that you're here. He might come visit later, okay?" Mom tells me.

Uh oh. Why would he want to come visit me? He's probably gonna yell at you and say you're so stupid cause you can't even kill yourself right and say that he wished you had taken more pills and goddamn it you should have taken more pills!

"Honey? Are you ok?"

Nonono. Can't breathe. The walls are closing in.

"Just breathe."

Gee thanks  wonder why I never thought of that I'm all fucking better now. 

"Look at me."

I shift my head slightly to look at her.

"Okay now breathe in for four seconds, ready? 1, 2, 3, 4."

I breathe in shakily.

"And hold for 1,2,3,4,5,6,7."

I hold. 

"Okay good job, now release for 8. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8."

I relax a little bit. My heart is still pounding but my head cleared itself. I keep taking deep breaths.

Maybe he won't come. It's fine. 

"Sweetie? Are you feeling okay now?" Mom asks.

I nod.

"Ok I need to get back to work, are you going to be alright?"

"Um y-yes," I respond.

She squeezes my hand and rises off the floor. She turns to go and I watch her walk away. 

I run my hand over the cast on my left arm. I see Connor's signature scrawled across the entire cast and smile. 

I have Connor. All my hope is pinned on Connor. 

A/N~ Sorry this chapter isn't too interesting, it'll get more interesting later don't worry (hehehe I have plans)