◀Sweet Creatures ▶ // WWE MULTI-SHIP FANFICTION

↑F O R T Y - N I NE↓

"You'll always be
my favourite
'what if' "

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J E F F

I laid down a blanket and she sat down while we were on the property of my brother. In my time off I had only had two visitors, apart from my daughter, and that was Lexi and now Paige.

I watched her as she took in the scenery I was all too used to, especially while being in recovery. It was a mundane routine for the past few months but I had a few good people in my life letting me know I wasn't forgotten even though the show went on.

"I shouldn't be here" She voiced and laid down carefully onto her back and stared up at the sky.

"We are just friends" I frowned as I didn't see a problem with it or maybe that was the part that was attracted to her.

The part that was happy she had showed up after I had invited her having heard what happened a couple weeks before. Matt had mentioned it because someone getting seriously hurt was important. Maybe we weren't all friends but we did all respect eachother and the job that we did and we knew what it felt like to be fine one moment and on the bench the next.

"I asked myself the question if I would mention to my boyfriend that I am here and I honestly don't think I would." She shrugged as she sat up again just as I took a seat.

"Why not?" Was all I could get out because I didn't like reminding myself that she was taken. I didn't like knowing that a woman I had so much chemistry with chose a guy she deemed opposite because it was the safer option.

"I am here with you while he is at live events. And I'm just so angry with myself and I just want to be mad and I feel like I can't be that way with him." She croaked and I hated hearing it and watched her as her eyes met mine. I saw the hurt in them and the fear, she didn't know what the future held for her.

"That shouldn't make you feel guilty, it’s okay. Sometimes you just need people apart from the one you're in a relationship with. You have been through a lot and I can relate to it and he might not so that's why you're here" I tried to comfort her with my words as best I could even though I did feel happiness fill me at the thought that she still needed me.

"I just feel like I'm fighting two battles. Holding onto what little I have left of this career at such a young age and trying to validate my relationship to people." 

"The career aspect I can't comment on because tests need to be run, and we don't know what's going to happen. But with your relationship, you chose him because you wanted stability and maybe you have felt that. But I have also heard so much uncertainty from you and maybe you are struggling because you are trying to convince yourself that this relationship is meant to be" I wearily spoke, knowing some of my words might have been triggering but the thoughts had been on my mind and wouldn't leave it until I told her.

"He makes me happy, Jeff. He makes me see all the good things in life and for tortured souls like us that's not always so easy. I find myself wanting to maintain all the light that exists, so I often don't dwell on the dark. And that's a problem cause my heart is black" she laughed sadly and rest her head on her knees and stared at me. "So, I don't know if this relationship is meant to be because I'm afraid to expose him to the mess I can be."

A small smile filled my face, "Yet you so easily are a mess with me."

"It just happens. There are times when I curse myself for texting or calling you cause it feels wrong. But then I see your face and it’s like euphoria and that is definitely wrong because you are not my boyfriend" She whispered but her fingers traced the veins on mine as she spoke.