Chapter 20

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                A week passed since Matt and Paige’s party, also the night Brian confessed everything to me. We hadn’t seen each other in person since then but we have texted. My appointment at the clinic was today and this time Brian was taking me to make sure the job got done. Jimmy was going with us but he wouldn’t be driving. He would act as Brian’s support while I was in the back of the clinic.

                As I got ready to go in my apartment I couldn’t help but think about the baby. I wondered what gender it was and I wondered what it would look like. As I thought about mine and Brian’s baby I felt a weird feeling in my stomach. I stood in front of my long full body mirror to look at my appearance, mainly my stomach. It was larger now, the baby was growing fast. As I stood in front of the mirror and hummed Avenged Sevenfold’s song “Warmness on the Soul” I smiled at the thought of mine and Brian’s baby then quickly shook the thought away, I couldn’t get attached.

                There it was, that weird feeling again.

                I tried ignoring it but there was something strange about it. I hummed a bit louder to get my mind off of it but the feeling only grew stronger. “It’s just nerves,” I assured myself. I walked into the living room to sit down and relax but as I entered the large room I felt a jolt in my stomach. “Crap,” I grabbed my stomach.

                “Ow, what the heck?” I gripped the chair in front of me. As the feeling continued I realized what was happening. “It’s kicking,” I whispered, “it’s kicking,” I said a bit louder.

                Suddenly the sound of my front door opened and Brian and Jimmy walked in. “Blake are you okay?” Brian asked, a frightened look appeared on his face. I quickly stood up straight and ignored the small kicks I was receiving although they got stronger at the sound of Brian’s voice.

                I thought about telling Brian about our baby kicking but I couldn’t risk him thinking I was getting attached to it or risk him getting attached to it.

                “Yeah can you just quit talking loudly?” I asked trying not to be suspicious. Brian and Jimmy both looked confused. “Are you ready to go?” Jimmy whispered thinking my request applied to him too. I nodded although I wasn’t sure about this anymore.

                “You two are brave for doing this, this late,” Jimmy mentioned.

                “Thanks for the input Jimmy, you’re here to help us get through this not change our minds,” Brian said while signing a form. We sat in the waiting area in the clinic. It was dark and dull in the area. The chairs weren’t great either, they were all white and plastic. Many women sat in the area waiting to be tended to.

                “You’ll be helped in about 5 minutes, thank you for being on time,” the old crotchety nurse said emotionless as Brian handed her the paperwork.

                “Let’s get this over with,” he said sitting next to me then started chewing on his lower lip, that was something he did when he was nervous. I was in between him and Jimmy, Jimmy was holding my hand trying to keep me calm. This place gave me an awful feeling. I didn’t like being here and I wanted to leave. Mine and Brian’s baby would move every now and then reacting to my anxiety.

                Five minutes passed too quickly. For Brian it couldn’t have been sooner.

                “Blake Blackwell,” the young male nurse said with a smile.

                 I slowly stood up and walked over to him. I wasn’t sure I wanted this anymore but Brian did. I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this anymore. Someone get me out of this!

                “You nervous?” the male nurse said placing his hand softly on my back.

                 I slightly turned my head to see Brian’s face get red. He noticed me looking at him then quickly looked away as if nothing was wrong, although he did cross his arms angrily over his chest. Did he really get jealous that easily? I was flattered yet annoyed by his constant mood swings.

                “Everything will be okay,” the nurse assured me. I nodded and continued to walk down the hallway with him.

                As he led me to a room I started to feel very self-conscious. Once you get that thing aborted we’re through talking. The only reason you’re still here is because of that baby. I’m too good for you. Brian’s words ran through my head over and over again. I know he told me he liked me but these past words kept coming back, they still hurt. I didn’t want to lose Brian. What if because I got this abortion we never get to go on our third date because he loses interest in me?

                As I sat on the table I felt the baby kick again. I can’t do this but I had to, for mine and Brian’s sake.

                The nurse came over to me with a large needle, “I’m just gonna go ahead and help you go to sleep.”

                Right before he stuck the needle in my arm Jimmy and Brian flung the door open. “Stop!” Jimmy screamed. The nurse jumped and nearly stabbed me with the needle anyways.

                “Jimmy? Brian?” I sat up surprised yet grateful they appeared.

                “Blake,” Jimmy ran to my side and grabbed my arm a look of panic was in his blue eyes, “are you sure you want to do this? Are you absolutely positive it’s the right thing to do?”

                I stared at Brian grateful Jimmy had stopped me but Brian looked fearful, he really wanted the baby gone. I thought about mine and Brian’s future together. My entire future flashed before my eyes. Brian stared back at me, he wanted it gone. He wanted it gone. I looked back at Jimmy, he had hope in his eyes. Brian wanted it gone.

                I looked down and felt my eyes fill with tears, “Jimmy I’m sorry.”

|I wasn't too happy with this chapter or the next few so bear with me but here you guys go! Merry Christmas lol!

This chapter is dedicated to @synistarr69. I believe I have already dedicated a chapter to you before but I keep receiving notifications saying that you voted and commented on my chapters and it makes me so happy! Thank you so much!! There are others too like @WWEFOREVER0823 thank you so much!

The picture is of Brian and Jimmy once again just because I they're relationship is so cute to me! The song is "Lips of Deceit" by Avenged Sevenfold.

Thanks again for readin sorry my announcements are so long :P |

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