Pieces of Pastiche

Kabanata 20

I woke up the next morning feeling good. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko ay unti unti akong nagiging sigurado kay Archer. I love the way he respects me and my feelings. Minsan nakakatakot na baka hindi niya ko deserve but who am I to decide who he deserves or not? I'm not the one to decide on that one.

Natutulog pa siya sa kama ko pero kinailangan ko nang tumayo.

When I went out and I saw them having breakfast. Nung makita ako ni Sandro, nakarinig ako ng sipol.

"Mukhang may masarap ang gabi rito ah! Nadiliga-aray! Ba't ka ba namamalo!" namula ang pisngi ko nung marinig ang hirit ni Sandro. Sinamaan ni Lorenz si Sandro ng tingin at si Aurora naman ang nang hampas sa kanya.

"Nadiligan ko na kasi yung halaman sa labas! Di kasi muna kao pinapatapos eh!"

Inirapan ko na lang si Sandro. Diretso ako sa pag kuha ng tasa at kape ko. I sat across them, beside Aurora.

"How's Yukami?" I asked Aurora.

Natapos ang umaga namin sa pagpreprepare kay Yukami. I also did some rounds at kinamusta ko rin si Nuwagi. When it was 10 in the morning, ako na nag prisenta na mag dala kay Yukami sa OR. When I entered her room, I saw her holding a pic of a guy. I smiled at her when she lifted her head.

"Who is he?" I asked, trying to converse. Sa tanong ko pa lang na yon ay napangiti na kaagad siya.

"Keravu, my boyfriend." Napatango naman ako sa sagot niya. Inayos ko ang swero niya, trying to check its patency.

"I hope I'll be okay after this surgery."

Naanigan ko ang lungkot sa boses niya. I held her hand and trie dto reassure her. Her hands feels so delicate. I saw a tear dropped from her eyes kaya naman kinabahan ako. Hindi ba siya handa?

"I want to marry Keravu. We might be young but we don't want to waste time. Why will I stop being with him just because something's stopping us? I realized it more when I discovered I need to be operated. What if I die? I realized how life is too short."

Natamaan ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano pero tumagos sakin ang mga sinabi niya. I bit my lower lip.

"I don't want to die but what if I did? He's been courting me for 2 years and I just gave my yes a week ago. I don't want to think that I wasted 2 years but now, I think I just did. So please do everything you can. Do not let me die..."

"I won't. I won't let you die."

--

"Are you okay, Quinn?"

Nagbalik ako sa reyalidad nung kausapin ako ni Aurora. Nagiiscrub na ko ng kamay ko at napamaang naman ako. After all those things I heard from Yukami, ang dami kong narealize.

I love Archer, pero bakit ko pa pinatatagal? Hindi ko alam.

I looked for him everywhere before I start to dress up for this operation pero nagpunta raw siya sa bayan. I hate it. But I can wait if he can.

I'm so sorry Gaia, but you want mommy to be happy right?

"Okay lang ako. May iniisip lang." tugon ko. She started scrubbing too.

"Everything's gonna be fine. Kanina pala may tumatawag sa phone mo. Sorry nakita ko kasi magkatabi lang phone natin." Kumunot ang noo ko. Sinong tatawag sakin gayong nasa overseas ako?

"Dr. Salome?" I asked. Umiling siya.

"It says Dad."

We started the surgery. Nagtataka man kung bakit tatawag si Daddy sakin gayong alam niyang mag iistay ako rito, ay palaisipan sakin.

"Suction."

Tahimik kami habang nag oopera. Hindi maingay dahil si Dr. Paez ang anesthesiologist namin. Ang alam ko ay patapos na rin ang sugery nila Lorenz sa kabila.

"Clip."

Nahirapan ako ng kaunti sa pag kuha ng tumor. Tagong tago ito kaya naman dapat sobrnag steady ng kamay ko. Dapat ay ipapadaan ko lang sa ilong ang operasyon pero hindi kakayanin kaya mas pinili kong iopen na dahil nag extend na sa iba pang lugar ang tumor.

"Cottonoid."

Ilang oras pa ay natapos ko ang pagtanggal. I am ready to clip when suddenly, the monitor beeped.

"SVT!"

"Shit!"

Agaran namin siyang inihiga. We tried to defibrilate her pero wala.

"Call Dr. Havsen!"

Nung matawag namin si Lorenz, nalaman kong nagarrest siya dahil sa isang emboli. At first I was afraid na galing iyon sakin but turns out, it was from her legs. Natakot ako para sa kanya dahil nangako ako na mabubuhay siya.

She's still in surgery. Lorenz did an open heart surgery to remove the blockage and to see if there's more damage to her heart.

Aurora reprimanded the staff nurse who didn't report Yukami's bloos sugar trends. Okay ang blood sugar niya ngunit nung patapos na kami sa surgery ay nag hyperglycemia siya. We did some doppler studies of the legs and saw multiple emboli.

After the surgery, tinapos ko ang post operative orders ko. The first thing that came into my mind was to look for Archer.

"Sandro! Si Archer?"

"Ouch! Archer agad?"

"Dali na kasi! Nasan nga?"

My eyes started to blur. Natakot ako lalo na nung nag arrest si Yukami. What if something similar happens to us? I don't want to live in regret. We suffered an almost plane crash already. Hindi pa ba sapat yun para marealize ko na hindi sigurado ang araw araw natin sa buhay?

Any day we can die, and can we die in regret? I don't want to.

Lalo pa ngayon na aalis siya pabalik ng Manila.

Gaia, mom's going home in a couple of days. I want you to meet Archer.

I saw him by the cliff. He was talking to someone. I stood there behind his back. My tears fell.

After the call, biglaan ko siyang niyakap mula sa likod. I hugged him as if there's not tomorrow. I hugged him as if I already told him I love him. I hugged him as if- "I don't want to lose you."

Hindi ko alam pero lumabas na lang iyon sa bibig ko. Humikbi ako dahil hindi ko na maitago pa ang luha ko.

"You wont lose m-"

"I want to hold your hand too. I want those hands to hold me as I grow older. I want to spend coffees and breakfast with you. I want to spend days with you. I want to be with you. But Elijah, I'm afraid. I am still afraid. But I'll fight. For you. For us. I want to go back with you in Manila."