Pieces of Pastiche

Kabanata 39

Kabanata 39

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to work?"

Ngumiti ako kay Archer para ipakita sa kanyang ready na talaga ako. Tumango ako sa kanya. Alam ko, he feels guilty for what happened that night dahilan para maaksidente ako. Sobrang caring niya ngayon sa akin. Kahit magmaneho ng sasakyan ay hindi niya ko hinahayaan.

"Oo naman. Halos kalahating taon din akong hindi nag opera. I miss our arena." Biro ko. Tumango naman siya at seryosong seryoso.

Nandito kami ngayon sa opisina ko. Medyo matagal na nung bumalik ako sa pagtatrabaho. I do my clinics pero hindi pa ko pinapayagang mag opera ni Archer. Hanggang tanggap lang ng trabaho at pasyente ang ginagawa ko.

"Is something bothering you?" I asked. Tumitig lamang siya ng mariin. Napabuntong hininga ako. Up until now, I don't know how our love succeeded all that has happened. Alam ko mahirap yugn mga pinagdaanan namin but surprisingly, we're still here. Together.

"I'm sorry.." utas niya. He bit his lower lip and I can sense that he is controlling hiself just not to cry. Nasasaktan ako sa itsura niya but I know he needs to go through this. Hindi siya makakamove on kung hindi.

Pinasingkitan ko siya ng mata.

"Why? Kasi ikaw yung kumain ng huling chicken wings?" I chuckled, obviously kidding. Ngumiti siya sa akin ng malungkot. My heart breaks seeing him like this. I stood up and reached out my hand to him so he could make him sit in my swivel chair. Nung maupo na siya, kumandong ako sa kanya. Nakapulupot ang kamay ko sa batok niya habang siya ay nakahawak sa baywang ko.

"I'm really sorry.." he uttered once more. I went near him and dipped in his lips. Humalik ako sa kanya ng sobrang babaw bago siya tinitigang muli.

"Why are you keep saying sorry? May nagawa ka ba?" I asked. Hinaplos ko ang uluhan niya, ang buhok niya. He closed his eyes as he feel my touch.

"If...If.." panimula niyang hirap na hirap magsalita. Kitang kita ko ang pagbasa ng kanyang pilikmata. I held his cheeks.

"If only learned how to listen, I shouldn't have said those words and hurted you. You ran away because I hurted you.." he explained painfully. Pinakinggan ko lang siya. I let him cry. I let him feel his pain so when he let go of these things, it'll really be over.

"Shh.." I hushed him. I used my thumb to wipe his tears. Hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nakahawak sa kanya.

"I never blamed you for the things I did, Archer. I left years ago so I could save you. Maybe there are other things that could have done better but that time, that's the only thing I thought that's right..." tinignan niya ko sa mga mata. His eyes were bloodshot but I can see love and longingness in there.

"If I have to do it all over again I will do it. You are a Neurosurgeon and this is where you're happy. Yes you could have been with me but you know you'll lose your patients, you'll lose the trust of the people. This is your happiness.."

"You are my happiness." Utas niya na nginitian ko. I nodded.

"Yes, but the profession you chose is also your happiness and you don't have to chose between the two. You don't need to give this up. And I understand why you said those things. Hindi kita sinisisi doon. Kung ako ang nasa kalagayan mo, ganun rin ang mararamdaman ko."

Slowly he nodded to me. Hinaplos kong muli ang kanyang mukha.

"Please, baby, don't blame yourself sa pagkakaaksidente ko. It was my choice to leave. My choice to drive fast. My choice." Paguulit ko sa kanya. Umiling siya. I chuckled and smiled.