Pieces of Pastiche

Kabanata 26

Kabanata 26

"How was it?"

Excited akong nakangiti kay Archer dahil tinitikman niya ang niluto ko. I have hopeful eyes while looking at him to know if it tastes good.

He is wearing a round neck white shirt and shorts. Simple lang ang suot niya pero hindi ko alam bakit napaka gwapo niya sa paningin ko. So unfair. Ako kailangan ko pang mag ayos.

"Pwede na kita maging asawa."

Sinimangutan ko kaagad siya ng mukha nung marinig ko iyon. Kita mo to, nagtatanong ako ng maayos tapos sasagutin ako ng ganun.

Nagpatuloy kami sa pagkain at inikot pa niya ang tingin sa paligid. His eyes lingered at Sandro and Lorenz's rooms. After that napailing siya.

Matapos kumain, nagpumilit siyang siya na ang maghugas ng plato. Kahit pa ayoko, hinayaan ko na rin siya sa gusto niya. Baka sakaling malibang libang rin naman siya.

Nang gabing iyon, nagsagot ako ng maraming calls. Puro pre-op orders ang ibinigay ko dahil nga hindi ko naman inasahan na marami akong surgeries tomorrow. I just saw Archer entering the living room with a glass of water in hand. Mukhang ibibigay sakin.

"Yes, yes. Please contact Dr. Garcia for anes. Don't forget to get cardiopulmonary clearance from Dr. Purino. Thank you." Huling sabi ko sa kausap bago pinatay ang tawag.

Archer look at me with sad eyes. I don't know if it's sad eyes or just how he look at things when his guards were down. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. He looks so strong and composed to other people so seeing him in this state makes me...sad.

Inabot niya sa akin ang tubig na akin namang tinanggap.

"You have lots of surgeries tomorrow." He uttered, more on stating than asking. Ganun pa man, tumango ako.

"And knowing Dr. Montero, hindi siya nag go-go for surgery unless nasa critical state na ang pasyente. That's why I hate his style and techniques." Pagkukwento ko. Hindi naman umimik si Archer kaya hinayaan ko na lang. Maybe he needs time to recover.

Mula sa pagkakaupo niya sa kanan ko, he snaked my arms around my waist and hugged me from my right. In return, I rested my hands in his thigh. Ang kaliwang kamay naman ay hinahaplos ang ulo niya.

"It's okay some things are really out of our control." Pagsabi ko.

"Three of my patients died today."

Gulat. Iyon ang naramdaman ko. Akala ko dalawa lang ang namatay. Gayunpaman, hindi ako gumalaw. I felt his shoulders shake. Nagulat ako dahil ilang taon na siyang nagpapractice ng medicine at impossible na ngayon pa lang siya namatayan. I don't know maybe he has past experience with patients dying and it's very awful to make him feel like this.

"Two of them, died in the operating room..one of them died after removing the life support. My patient talked to me before going into surgery. He told me to do everything I can to make him live. His operation was successful but during his stay in the PACU, he arrested. We revived him for almost 30 minutes. I had to declare him brain dead. The family decided to remove his life support today."

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin. Pero minsan, mas mabuti yata na wala na lang tayong sinasabi. Sometimes, words aren't needed for other people to feel comfort. It's presence.

"Who decides if that someone should die or not? Who decides if this battle isn't worth fighting anymore? Is it the patient or the people around them?"

I squeezed his hand. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang panginginig nun kaya niyakap ko lang siya.

Bigla ko tuloy naalala ang kapatid ni Ben. As for his sister, if ever the doctor is telling the truth, she decided for herself. To not have any artificial means for survival.