Confronting Fear

Calling

"Don't speak 'cause it only makes my
Heart bleed no matter what you say
I'll be only just a call away"

Only Just a Call Away - The Struts

Kylo could feel Rey's mind reaching out to his, he could sense the fear fresh in her mind. What happened? Had someone tried to hurt her? HUX. His fists balling at the thought. But he could sense this agony wasn't physical, it was emotional. She was afraid, she was hurting, and she was alone.

He concentrated on their dyad bond, willing himself to project into her room. His heart lurched in his chest at the sight of Rey curled into a tight ball sobbing into a pillow. He thought of the nights he had watched her peaceful sleep, had this happened other times when he wasn't present? She was so alone. He knew one of her greatest fears was being left alone again, he'd seen it in her mind. What was he going to do, he didn't have much, well, any experience in comforting people. He inspired terror, not calmed it. But, he couldn't just leave her there in this state.

Why not? You're a monster, she'll never see you as anything else.

Yes, he was. He could never be anything else.

Besides, she's probably crying over the traitor and the flyboy. She doesn't want to be here, doesn't want you here.

Kylo felt his fingers dig into his palms as he relived the scene from the holding cell, her barely contained tears as she embraced first the traitor and then the pilot. She obviously cared for them in a way she could never care for him.

He reached out to sever the connection when the image of Rey falling next to him replayed itself in his head, there would be no more sleep for him this night. He needed to try, for Rey, and for himself. Maybe, for a moment he could be more than a monster. He had promised her she'd never be alone, it was time to keep it.

"Rey?" He whispered her name as he knelt next to the bed, their faces inches apart.

She looked up, startled, her golden hazel eyes clouded with tears, rimmed in red. "Kylo? Are you really here?"

"Yes and no. I'm Force projecting. I felt you call for me." He was taken aback as Rey suddenly lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. What the hell was he supposed to do now? This was a woman who had previously kicked his ass in a lightsaber battle and fought along side him against the Praetorian Guard. She was strong, fierce, and now, crying against his bare chest. She was vulnerable. He tipped his head forward, resting against her temple, breathing in her scent, fresh and and lightly flowery, like a meadow on a sunny day. "Shhh," he soothed in her ear. "You're not alone. You just have to call."

Rey seemed to realize his discomfort as she released her hold on him, sitting up. "I'm sorry, I just, oh!" He saw her blush as she realized he was once again shirtless. He interpreted that to mean she still wasn't experienced with shirtless men, which pleased him. Maybe the pilot hadn't gotten very far after all.

He instinctively took one of her hands in his, dwarfing it in his grasp. "What happened?"

"It was just a nightmare but it felt so real! I swear I could feel the heat from the magma."

A jolt went down his spine as he absorbed the full weight of what she just said. He didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be.

"Magma?" He asked, his mouth suddenly dry, palms sweaty.

"Yes, I was being chased down a tunnel by three figures with red sabers. One of them attacked me and I fell into a river of lava. Oh, and you fell too, alongside me. I guess I was reaching out to make sure you were ok. I'm sorry if I woke you. What's wrong?"

He realized he had been subconsciously stroking the back of her hand with his thumb and he dropped it like a burning ember. "Rey, you didn't wake me. I was already up. I had the same dream as you, except I was being chased by Jedi."

Wait, she was worried about him? His heart skipped a beat.

Her eyes widened. "What, how is this possible? The Force, the dyad?"

Kylo considered the predicament for a moment before nodding. "That is the logical explanation, but the meaning of it, I do not know. Force visions are tricky things, as you know. It may be literal or a metaphor or a warning or something else entirely. We can talk about it more in the morning. "

She seemed calmer now. Kylo took it as a sign to leave. He stood to his full height. "I should let you rest." He turned when her hand snaked out and grabbed his, freezing him in his tracks. What the hell was this woman doing to him?

"Please, stay. I don't think I will be able to sleep now." His head jerked to attention. Was she asking him to stay the night? He'd been hoping for this eventually, but under much different circumstances.

"Please stay, until I fall asleep." She asked as she moved over to give him room to lay next to her. 

He nodded and climbed in, carefully avoiding touching her, unsure of the etiquette required for this particular situation. "Like this?"

He felt, rather than heard her nod. He ached to take her in his arms, to chase away her fears but thought she would reject such a touch. He vaguely realized she was still holding his hand as he drifted into sleep.