Confronting Fear

Ahsoka

I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express my situation

Burning Bright - Shinedown

The Supreme Leader of the First Order, one of the most powerful men in the galaxy... paced. Over and over he marched over the same stretch of floor in his office. It had been almost two standard days and still Rey remained sequestered. How long was this going to take?

He'd spent the past 36 hours worrying and trying to keep himself occupied. The inability to sleep had made him even more temperamental than usual. He'd nearly choked Hux to death three times, had destroyed a conference room, sent Lt. Mitaka and several others to the medwing, and caused general chaos throughout the ship. Even a practice flight in his TIE Silencer had failed to help. He'd racked his brain trying to discover the significance of the dagger, to no avail. His only source of comfort was the beacon on the other side of the wall, proof that Rey still breathed.

"Hmmmm, interesting dagger."

Kylo spun around at the sound of the feminine voice behind him. He found himself facing a Togruta woman in grey armor. Unlike Obi-Wan, he didn't recognize this one.

He groaned, "Great, another dead Jedi come to tell me all of my flaws."

"I am no Jedi, and I'm not here to belittle you. I know all too well how that goes."

Kylo's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Who are you?"

"My name is Ahsoka Tano, I was Anakin Skywalker's padawan for a time."

"I thought you said you aren't a Jedi." Ren accused.

"I'm not. I left the order before finishing my training. I saw firsthand what it had become and wanted no part in it."

Kylo considered her words with surprise. He had never heard of a Jedi leaving before.

The spirit continued. "Like you, I found the rules and regulations of the Jedi too strict. After being framed for an explosion and a murder I was imprisoned. Even after being exonerated, I decided I'd had enough."

"So you turned to the Dark then?"

The spirit shook her head. "It doesn't need to be one or the other, Ben. I found balance within myself."

Kylo's temper flared at the sound of the hated name. "That's not my name." He paused, curious despite himself.

"I wandered for a time. After the fall of the Republic I joined the rebellion. I even once battled Darth Vader, my former master. After the end of the war I set out to find a friend who had disappeared named Ezra Bridger. And now, here I am." The Togruta smiled sadly.

"And why are you here?" He snapped.

"To tell you that it's not only possible but it's okay to embrace both the Light and Dark inside your self. Feeling the pull to the Light doesn't mean you're going to become a hollow shell of yourself and feeling a belonging in the Dark doesn't mean you have to be an agent of chaos."

Kylo listened intently. Ahsoka was confirming everything he had ever secretly believed, the first to ever do so.

"Find balance within yourself, free from the restrictions of both the Light and Dark."

"And how do I do that?"

"Well, for starters, you could learn to have a little fun." The ghost teased before returning to her more serious tone. "That is something you are going to have to discover for yourself. It's a journey unique to every person. I can tell you it starts with self-acceptance."