Confronting Fear

Monster

If I could take back the moment
I let you get under my skin
Relent or resist
Seems the monster always wins

Monster- Starset

TW - a section of this chapter may be triggering to survivors of sexual assault. I have bracketed it in a line of ******* . Readers won't miss any major plot points by skipping this section.

A blood curdling howl echoed throughout the Supreme Leader's private floor followed by the hum of a lightsaber. He hacked and slashed his way through every surface of his recently repaired training room leaving a trail of destruction in his wake that failed to sate his rage. Tears of anger and something akin to grief formed at the corners of his eyes.

Why was it that he could never win against her? She had beaten him on Starkiller. She had abandoned him in the throne room. She had fooled him on Crait. She had nearly killed him on Kef Bir. The closest thing he had to victory was her surrender at Kijimi and she'd stolen that from him when she walked right through every one of the locks he'd put in place to keep her here like they were nothing.

She had his father's ship, his mother's love, his uncle's respect, even his grandfather's saber had chosen her! She had everything that should be his and now, she flaunted her lover in front of him!

He couldn't take the pain anymore, he needed to be rid of it, of her. If she was dead she couldn't hurt him anymore. Maybe Palpatine was right after all. He could exchange her life for the Final Order and cement his hold on the galaxy. Surely being alone was better than this....

But, deep in his cold, dead heart he knew he couldn't do it. He needed to find her before he truly lost his mind.

He activated the communications panel set into the wall next to his bed. A holo of a figure in black armor bowed before him. "Vicrul, call back the other Knights. Let me know immediately once they have arrived. We're going to end this."

Poe woke slowly as red tinged light filtered in through the window in the lounge. Rey was feet from him, still fast asleep. He smiled at the sight of her serene face.

They had carried the narrow mattress from the bunk into the lounge but found the cot was now too rusted out to be safe. The mattress however, was still useable. They'd laid them out, side-by-side but with several feet in between. They'd dozed off, alone in each other's company.

Poe stood quietly and tiptoed out of the lounge and towards the exit. It was still early and he did NOT want to have to explain why he was exiting the Falcon in his sleep clothes, no matter how innocent the going ons. The ramp had been left down but the door off the cargo bay was shut tight. Several of the crystalline vulptices scattered as he entered.

The vulptices had moved in with the Resistance, or maybe the Resistance moved in with them. They didn't cause any real trouble so there was no need to evict them. Besides, they they were smart and curious and functioned as an excellent early warning system.

Some how, Poe managed to avoid any awkward conversations as he navigated the maze of tunnels. That was until he reached his own room where he was accosted by BB8.

"Hey, whoa, whoa buddy it's not like that. I just went to check on her and ended up falling asleep in the lounge. No big deal."

The astromech beeped out another series of questions.

"No, I'm not going to tell Finn. Yes, if I go back you can come too."

Rey woke to the sight of Chewy standing over her, his expression curious. She stood, stretching her muscles as she did, including her still stiff shoulder. Poe had already left, leaving Rey to wonder how long she'd slept.