Confronting Fear

Padme

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

All around me - Flyleaf

Rey was weightless, being carried along a warm river of light, or maybe she had become part of the river itself. She felt no pain, no strife, only peace. She vaguely became aware of the slender, soft fingers intertwined with hers, as though someone was guiding her gently along. So I am still me, she thought dimly, somewhat disappointed.

A soft, sweet laugh met her ears. "Yes, you are my dear."

Rey felt a heaviness return to her extremities as she found herself standing face-to-face with the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, her coarse hand in her smooth one. She was about Rey's height, dressed in a blue gown. Her exquisite olive-toned face was framed by a curtain of soft dark curls interspersed with white flowers, her warm brown eyes fixed on Rey.

She had seen those eyes before. She was sure of it. "I... who are you?" asked Rey, once she found her voice.

The woman smiled, her face alight. "My name is Padme. Padme Amidala Skywalker. It's good to finally meet you in person, Rey."

Padme. She had heard that name somewhere before.... it couldn't be. "Are you Luke and Leia's mother?"

Padme nodded, her gaze never leaving the young Jedi. "Yes, I am." Years of training in etiquette and manners made Padme feel rude, staring at the girl this way but she couldn't help it. Anakin had spoken at length about her, but meeting her was something else. She could see why her grandson had such strong feelings for Rey. Even in her torn scavenging garb she was stunning in a way that was not purely physical, though that was certainly not lacking. Her inner light drew people to her like a moth to a flame. Perhaps the most surprising thing, was that she didn't seem to know it. This was a woman who had broken many hearts without ever realizing they were her's in the first place.

So, this is were Leia got her elegance, poise and grace, Rey thought, traits she never thought she'd care about and yet had somehow come to envy. Rey then realized where she had seen those eyes before. They were Ben's eyes. "So that means you're Ben's grandmother, then."

Padme sighed dramatically, mock hurt in her voice. "Yes. My whole family has been talking about you constantly, and I was feeling very left out. I wanted to meet you. I have for some time, but now is the first time I was able."

The meaning of the interaction, of how it was even possible, finally came to Rey. She was speaking to a dead woman. That should not be possible, unless... "Did I die?" Rey whispered.

The spirit shook her head. "Not yet, but you still may. You're very badly injured."

Rey was more confused than ever. "Then how? I thought only those strong with the Force could interact with the living, could become Force ghosts."

"You're partially correct. Only those strong with the Force can interact with the plane of the living. You are now deep enough in the Force that you partially exist in both planes. That's how you can perceive me." Padme revealed.

"Ah, okay." Rey wasn't certain she understood, but it made a certain sense. "I guess, then, why am I here? Do I just wait to die or can I go back?"

"What happens now is your choice. You can stay here or you can return, though the journey back will not be easy."

Rey considered her options. Was she ready to become one with the Force? Her whole life had been wrought with pain and hardship. Every day of it had been a battle, first against the wastelands of Jakku, then against the First Order, and now against herself and Palpatine. Was she - could she - be ready to lay her head down and know peace at last?