Confronting Fear

Haruun Kal

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel,
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away, and find myself today

Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park

"What the fuck am I doing?" Finn must have repeated that question to himself  a thousand times in the last few hours and for good reason. For days, he'd been hearing whispers on the wind over and over driving him mad. He had wanted to ask Rey about them but the opportunity never presented itself. The whispers spoke of a place of unanswered questions and closure. Of destiny. Haruun Kal.

Finn had dug through the holonet for information on the planet but had come up with little of substance. It was a volatile place where life could only exist in the upper atmosphere and what little life it could support had been bombed to near extinction by the Empire. Nothing had been recorded after the end of the Clone wars. In desperation he had turned to Maz Kanata for information but the old pirate queen had offered little more than the advice to treat anything electronic against corrosion before going there and a cryptic smile.

This was why the second Leia, Poe and Rey had all left, Finn had taken a small, easy to pilot shuttle and escaped off Crait. Crait was suspiciously close to Haruun Kal and with a little luck he could be there and back before anyone missed him or the shuttle. He hadn't even told Rose, fearing she would think he was crazy. No one would understand, no one except maybe Rey and he wasn't sure what was going on with her at the moment.

Ever since Bracca, things had changed. She had changed and he didn't like it one bit. Though she had emerged physically stronger than ever, her light had been dimmed as though cast in shadow. Whether this was the result of the near-death experience or Ren's influence he didn't know or care. Ren had nearly killed her, therefore both possibilities were his fault.

The meeting between the Resistance and the First Order had ostensibly been Rey's idea, though Leia had supported it so enthusiastically that Finn suspected she may have been the one who really wanted it. Why anyone, let alone two women who had more reason to hate Ren than just about anyone, would actively want to meet that monster was beyond his comprehension.

The planet itself seemed to welcome him as picked his way along the edge of a series of high cliffs that offered a breathtaking view of lush green jungle and mighty rivers. It felt like home.

The spell was broken when Finn realized something was following him... something large and probably hungry. Right hand on the blaster at his hip, Finn quickened his pace while trying not to panic. If there was one thing he'd learned about jungles in his time with the Resistance, it was that running was sometimes the worst thing you could do.

His efforts appeared to have been in vain as he barely dodged the claws of some large green creature that pounced silently from among the trees. He screamed as it spun on one foot and came back around in a reflex that approached the supernatural. His blaster was knocked from his hand by one gigantic paw.

Finn gave into the fear, tearing into the underbrush of the jungle. But he was in the beast's world and it knew it better than he could ever hope, provided he lived to know it at all. With a final pounce seemingly out of nowhere, the creature knocked Finn to his stomach, sinking it's teeth deep into Finn's calf.

Apparently as one approached death one began to see things. Things such as a bright red reptilian creature with huge mirrored purple eyes charging right at him. With a blood-curdling scream the green monster released Finn's leg and prepared to battle the red one for the right to Finn's corpse.

Bleeding heavily, Finn hobbled on one leg over to one of the trees, attempting to hide behind it. It appeared the red animal had won as the green was nowhere to be found.... and it had spotted Finn.