loving you was easy

chapter 66

gemma's POV

well this was awkward. sat ona plane next to demi for a whole 13 hours. even worse that i started holding her hand when i got a bit scared when the plane was taking off. i didnteven realise until demi pointed it out. obviously i instantly i let go but she grabbed it back. i felt slightly bad coz i dont want to get back together at the moment. i do at some point but not now.

after about 20 minutesi let go to go into my bag, i felt demi looking at me when i let go. i rumaged around in my bag for my hip flask. when i found it i sighed with relief as i sat back up an unscrewed the cap. i took about a 5 second gulp from it before screwing the cap back on and coughing a little bit. i look over at demi and saw demi glaring at me, i gave her a look as if to say, "what?".

D- whats in that?

G- a drink, obviously.

D- what drink is it? i turned away from her and looked out the window.

suddenly i felt my hip flask being snatched from hand. i quickly jumped to get it back but demi wasnt having any of it, she shoved me away and unscrewed the flask. i watched as she brought it to her nose to smell it. when she did she quickly retracted it away and her face cringed. she turned to face me and i saw the disapointment on her face. she knew it was alcohol.

D- why are you drinking gemma?

G- because it helps. i said snatching it back off her, i took another drink and put it back in my bag.

D- helps with what exactly?

G- helps me take my mind of things.

D- well gemma, this isnt a good way to take your mind of things. i hate to say it but your sliping back into your old ways. the ways you were before you went to treatment. you need to stop your drinking and locking yourself away.  i love you gemma and i dont want to see you like this.

G- well why do you think we broke up, i already knew this was happening, what i said to you was the cherry on top of the cake and my cue to leave. i dont want you to see me like this either.

D- yeah but im willing to help you gemma.

G- i dont want your help! you think you can fix everything just because you love me. i doesnt work like that demi. i need to do this on my own.

i regretted saying that straight after i said it. my heart dropped as i saw tears brim demi's eyes. i sat back facing forward and put my elbows on my knees with my head on my hands. i started crying silently.

G- im so sorry. i didnt mean that.

D- its okay i understand,

she said as she started to rub my back, i quickly sat up making her hand come off me.

D- gemma its okay, she said again as she put her hand on my shoulder, i shrugged her hand off me,

G- dont touch me please, i saw her slowly put her hand back in her lap,

did i feel bad? yes. but did i want to get her hopes up on us getting back together soon? no. the silence on the plane was bugging me, i hate silence. i began feeling agitated from the silence so got my hip flask back out and finished it. i held in a cough as the burn of the alcohol flowed down my throat.

i heard a sniff come from demi's direction. my head snapped towards her. i saw that she was crying to herself, a few tears rolled down her cheeks as she kept her head facing forward. now i felt really bad. i could see me drinking was hurting demi aswell.