Mate Mysteries

Chapter 25

Krey returned to the doorway sheepishly. His head was still down, but he stole a glance at his mate through his lashes. Pips eyes were bloodshot and tired. He was pale and stood small when he usually had good posture. He looked sick, but they had been apart for a while when mates were supposed to be together as often as possible, which was usually every day.

Krey wondered how Jordan managed to stay away from his mate for so long. After a while, he reckoned the pain turned numb, and Jordan soon forgot what it was like to be held. Krey was terrified of that happening to Pip and himself. It's my fault if he walks away. Remember that.

Pip opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say. In the moment, he didn't want Krey to walk away again. Now that he was faced with those sad brown eyes, his words escaped him. Pip fought to stay where he was, and not run to the person he longed for the most.

They stared at each other. Krey was silent, also unsure of what to say.

"Um," Pip cleared his throat and wrapped arms around himself. "Did you want something from this room?"

Krey shook his head to say no. His heart spiked at the sound of his gentle voice. "I just- I wanted to see you." He stared at his feet and mumbled, "Sorry if you didn't want to see me."

I'm not sure what I want. Pip longed to say something that would put a smile on Krey's pained face. At the same time, Pip wanted the sorrow to weep from Krey's eyes, his words, and his actions. "How have you been?" Pip asked, knowing the answer, but he had to say something.

"Not good. I know you haven't been either."

Pip was silent.

"I- um," Krey struggled as a lump rose in his throat. His mate stood in the morning light, beautiful as always. Krey longed to bury his nose into his wavy brown hair, and kiss his hot cheeks, and hold his small hands. "I can't do another night without you."

Pip held their gaze, and he finally stood up straight, crossing his arms rather than gripping himself for comfort. "Why?" he asked blankly.

"Because..." Krey wanted to shrug his shoulders. He dug his thumb into his palm, begging himself to open up. "It hurts too much."

"Why?"

"Because we've been apart too long."

"Why?"

Krey once again lowered his head. Pip's stern stare poked him too hard. "I fucked up."

"How?"

"I lost myself for a moment."

"No."

Krey frowned.

"You've never been yourself." Pip thought there was no better time to say it. He had been given time to think freely about what kind of a person Krey had grown to be. Pip still wasn't sure, even after living with him for almost two years. "I don't know who you are. You show me so many different faces. How am I supposed to know which one is real?"

"I'm going to try and-"

"No," Pip said bluntly. "You will change. If not for yourself, then do it for me, and your mum, and your pack. Do it for Francis who has always believed in you, and do it for Sid who died saving our lives."

Krey's gut twisted the way it did when he was reminded of Sid, his Delta. "He was so brave," Krey whispered.

Pip saw Krey crumbling, and he felt the same agony Krey had emitted for days. "He was."

"And I was so careless."

"You were."

Pip's heavy emotions pressed on Krey's temples too. "I don't want that to ever happen again. It could have been your death I mourn. Even though we're not speaking, I'm really grateful that you're still here." Krey's eyes suddenly watered. His mouth was dry, and his chest was tight. The tidal wave of emotions was coming for him again, and he couldn't stop it.