If You Say So by Lea Michele Cashton
Calum:
It’s been seven whole days
Without your embrace.
Four months. That’s all he’s gone for. Just four months.
You always remind yourself that he’ll be back.
It just seems like forever.
You look at the calendar.
Seven days.
Seven fucking days.
That’s all he’s been gone for.
One week.
There’s still fifteen more weeks.
You roll over when your phone starts playing the ringtone you’ve set for Calum.
Torn in two
And I know I shouldn’t tell you
But I just can’t stop thinking of you
You pick up the phone and see that he wants to facetime. You quickly wipe the tears from your eyes and accept the call.
"Hey baby. I know it’s late there, but it’s 6 am here and I can’t sleep."
"Neither can I." you whisper.
"Baby, please don’t cry. Don’t cry over me. I’ll be home soon. I promise."
"I’m already a mess and I’ve only gone seven days without you here."
"I know, I’m not any better. It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever and I don’t know how to cope."
"I can’t either."
"Can you please come visit?"
"I can’t, Calum, you know I don’t have the money."
"I don’t care. I’ll pay for it."
"Calum you don’t…"
"I do. I love you too much to let you cry alone in our bedroom while I’m touring around. I need you with me."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
Ashton:
And I can’t get away from the burning pain,
I lie awake.
You lay there in Ashton’s arms, awake, while he is in deep sleep. You can’t sleep. Something has been digging at your soul every night and it’s been costing you sleep for weeks. You slowly walk into the bathroom and stare at yourself in the dark mirror. Your cheeks are stained from the mascara filled tears. You can’t look at yourself for long before the tears start falling again. You start to get a hold of yourself, but you can’t. You fall down against the wall and curl up into a ball and start crying intensely. It isn’t too long before you hear Ashton’s deep breathing stop and the sheets come off the bed. You feel a hand on your back and you don’t even twitch. You feel his arms pick you up and carry you back to bed. He rolls you over so you face him and he removes your hands from your face. He wipes the tears from your eyes and holds your hands. He knew you didn’t want to talk about it. He lets go of your hands and pulls you into a tight hug. You begin to cry into his shoulder until the morning sun comes through the blinds. He gets up and opens the blinds, letting the sunlight in all the way. He comes back into bed and sits you up and wipes your tears again.
"Pancakes?"
"I love you."
"I love you too." he smiles and kisses your forehead before going downstairs and making your favorite breakfast food.
