Tears | Prequel To Pyrrhia HighSchool

Glorious Agony

Darkstalkers POV:

My mind was a storm of so many emotions. So many, I could only name a few, some of them I didn't even know the name too.

Happiness, excitement, sadness, regret, guilt, anger, scared, but one was the one I could feel the most. Insanity. Well, insanity of some sort.

A type of one where it felt like I was trapped in a tight space and couldn't move, one where I just wanted to scream and cry and let there rain blood. But, I somehow kept those emotions locked inside. Somehow, I managed to keep myself sane, but that doesn't mean it hurt. It hurt to not do the horrible things that I wanted to do, and it hurt keeping the anger inside. I wanted to let the rage loose, and let it out on everyone. But I knew it wasn't right. It wasn't right in anyway shape or form. It wasn't healthy or sane what so ever.

But I still wanted to do them. . . yet I didn't know why.

Over the months its just gotten worse. Why, you may ask? Because during that time, more blood has been stained eternally to my hands. To my face, to my clothes, to my skin. But, like when I first let someone elses blood be free, it wasn't actually there, but I could feel it. No shower or bath would clean off the feeling.

Not only have I killed, but I've kidnapped and threatened and hurt and tortured. I felt so despicable. I felt evil. And I wanted to cry about it and shout at myself for doing such agonizing things, not only to those people, but to myself. But that was rush was so addicting. I loved it. I lived for it, well, now I do anyways. The pain felt good. Oh so good!

And I know, I know how my pain has caused others agony. My long nights and days away caused my mother to become more worried, and soon she fell into a deep depression. I wanted to help her anyway I could, I wanted to stop and end all this! But I couldn't. . . and deep down. . . I knew I wouldn't. Whiteout remained normal, but I knew she was hurting inside. She wanted to help mother as much as I did, but whatever she tried, it didn't work. But I didn't help. As much as I wanted to, I had to focus on my work.

I had ended up telling Fathom what I planned. After he completed his task, obvioulsy. I told him what I wanted to do to this retched place, to this evil world. I said all the horrible things I had been doing, and wanted to do. And when I saw the shock~ no, more then shock. It was an expression I couldn't quite pinpoint. It was as if he had witnessed someone be torn apart, or like he had been impaled right through the stomach.

In fact, he almost screamed, but instead, I heard a slight whimper escape his mouth. It was then I couldn't help but smile at the regret and guilt on his face. So glorious to see someone in agony. But, I managed to keep him quiet about it, using a few tricks o two I learned on my journey. After that he seemed emotionless around me, but still terrified. I could tell he hated what he had done, and he regretted trusting me. In fact I was sure he despised me. And I didn't feel to good about that either. I never wanted to hurt him, but now, in those types of situations where any pain of some sort is able to be seen, I couln't control myself.

But telling Clearsight was a whole other story. Although I kept the insane things going on in my mind out, she still screamed at me. She shouted, punched me in the chest and shoulder, screamed some more, cried, begged. And the whole time. . . I just looked at her. I wanted to hold her so close and tell her I'm sorry, I know I'm crazy, but I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you~

But. . . I just stood there, watched the tears from her eyes fall down, roll down her pale cheeks, fall off her chin and land on the floor. I almost cried myself. But I felt so calm. To calm in a situation like that. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn't care. I don't care about anybody.

Although, I do. I care so much about Clearsight and Fathom and Whiteout and mother. . . but I didn't admit it to myself. Instead I kept working, and working, and working. . . until it was done. I was ready. I was finished and ready to show the world my wrath. I was so ready to wreak havoc to anyone and everyone who was in my way.