In Your Sensuality 「𝙩.𝙠」

Chapter-4 : 𝙸𝚐𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚎

Ignore the mistakes.

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Sometimes people leave a void behind----a void which can never be filled again and that breaks up, tightens up your chest and you feel - - suffocated.

In the bright night illuminated by streaks of moon, sneaking through the open window and harsh wind blows the curtain. This room once was used to be filled with giggles and joy which now is nothing less than a desolated.

A room which even in deep darkest was brightest - - - even in the gloomy days was joyful. This room is filled with memories - - the memories of a cheater---a person Jeon Jeongguk used to love the most.

First love is hard to forget and first betrayal is impossible to forgive.

Sitting in the middle of the king sized bed around the messy blankets, the ravenette sits in dreadful silence - - every single breath he inhales can be heard but no one hears the shattering of his heart in pieces except for him.

"Was my love not enough for you?" Jeongguk voices out, sounding so broken - - - so vulnerable, his reflection on the mirror disgusts him. It disgusts him how red and swollen his eyes are, how stained his cheeks are - - - how defeated he looks, he is.

" Was I not enough for you? What was missing in our relationship that you even signed the divorce papers" Jeongguk wonders as broken sobs escape from his lips.

"You despite of having me as your husband --- married Haru." Jeongguk wipes his tears harshly, eyes flaming with rage and pain. Betrayal is what he feels but his pain has over stepped everything. His rage igniting the demon inside him.

Heartless, yes.

Harsh, yes.

He wants to laugh at himself for taunting Taehyung for crying over his cheater boyfriend when - - - he himself is crying for his cheater wife.

"But I won't cry" Jeongguk mumbles, his breath stucked in his chest with each step he takes towards the mirror, points his finger at his reflection.

"You are not going to cry." Jeongguk talks to himself. He warns himself, he begs himself but his words are useless when tears roll down from his cheeks, he wipes time off quickly but seems like his eyes want to cry.

Crying never means that you are weak. Taehyung's words resonates in his head, his eyes widen.

Does crying really means that you are not weak? If Jeongguk cried - - will he feel at peace or will somi enjoy watching him cry even when she no longer is here?

"If I cried - - she will enjoy. She will laugh at me for being so helpless, so broken, I won't cry" Jeongguk shakes his head and walks inside the washroom, splashes water on his face.

Taehyung is a fool, he is not. He won't cry. He can't cry.

Restless was the night and so was Jeon Jeongguk. Sleep was never meant for him that night, tears were meant to flow no matter how hard he tried to stop them----failed every time.

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The autopsy reports came the very night of the accident. Now they were sent to Jeongguk. The envelope is in front of his desk and his hands are shaking.

He asks Namjoon to read it and the older does. Papers are open and judging by Namjoon's reaction - - it's bad, something very bad. He no longer wants to hear it.

"The reports say that -" Namjoon feels his mouth run dry, how can he say that.

"What is it?" Hoseok enters the office, a file in his hand which are now placed on the table. He takes the paper from Namjoon's hands and read it with his brows knitted and gasps.