After Speed Force

Chapter 29

CAITLIN POV:

But what the hell just happened ?! Did he just confess that he felt something for me ?! Damn it, Caitlin, why didn't you said anything to him ?! I still tried to go after him but as soon as I got to the entrance to STAR Labs I couldn't see him and ended up entering again.

Seeing his disappointed face broke my heart and the worst thing is that I really like him, but really like him. I had to talk to someone ... I could tell Cisco, but maybe I needed a female opinion, so I called the first person that came to mind.

I set up a lunch with that person and spent the rest of the morning in the company of Cisco and the rest of the staff. At lunchtime, they agreed to go to lunch at a hamburger shop that was close to the laboratory, but as I already had plans, I left first.

When I arrived at Jitters, I sat at an empty table and looked through the menu. Ten minutes later, the person I was waiting for sits next to me.

- Thank you for coming to me.

- I wasn't expecting your call. But you don't have to thank me, Caitlin.

- I needed to talk to someone and I think you're the ideal person.

- Despite everything we've been through in the past, I'm glad you thought of me. You know you can tell me what you want.

- I screwed up. Barry confessed that he liked me, but I was so surprised by the confession that I didn't even say anything. When I was finally going to tell him what I felt, he told me to forget about it and left. I still tried to go after him, but I haven't seen him anywhere. What do I do?

- Do you want my honest opinion? Caitlin go to his place and tell him the truth. You guys deserve to be together.

- Thanks for the advice, Iris.

The rest of lunch was pleasant, more than I expected, because this was the first one who was talking to her after the day she came to apologize for her attitude. It was already decided, after leaving STAR Labs I go to his house, to talk about this subject.

The afternoon at STAR Labs was so boring! I mean, not that the work there is boring, but the problem is that I was not in the mood to work. I couldn't help thinking about Barry and our conversation. It was time to go and I was halfway there when I decided to stop at a special spot first.

- Hello my love! I know I haven't been here in a while, but today I really needed to talk to you. A lot has changed since the last time I was here ... A part of me really wanted you to be here with me to advise me. You know you were always the person I trusted most in this world! What is happening is that I really like a boy and I don't know how to tell him. I know that if you were here you would say something like this: you have to follow your heart ... But has it ever occurred to you that your heart is as confused as your head? That is my case.

Talking to Ronnie has always done me good, it was like it eased my mind and I could think better. Whenever I had a problem in my life, I would come here and always find a solution. I was lost in my thoughts, I didn't even notice it starting to rain.

- Whatever happens I want you to know that I will always love you, for the rest of my life. I can move on but a part of my heart will always belong to you and nothing and no one can change that.

I left the cemetery and went to Barry's house. When I got there I was so much wet from the rain but I didn't want to know about it. What mattered at this point was to tell Barry the truth. He came to open the door for me and before he could say anything, I kissed him.

When we separate, he was so confused and I didn't even know what to say for a moment, but I think the best thing was to tell him the truth straight out.

- The reason I didn't say anything this morning when you told me what you felt was because I was processing the information. You can't tell me that and expect me to answer in the next few seconds.

- Maybe I was too hasty to leave that way, but I just thought you didn't feel the same way.

- Barry, I've been in love with you since the first day we worked together. At first I thought it was just a crush that lead nowhere and when Ronnie returned, my feelings for him and our story spoke louder, but after his death I understood that there was only one person who could make me happy, and that person is you. I thought about telling you so many times how I feel about you, but you liked Iris ... I know it may look bad but I was really happy the day you told me that you and she were done.

- But if you liked me, why did you date Justin?

- Because a part of me didn't want to accept these feelings. Maybe a part of me thought that you might have to leave me one day and I would be here with a broken heart again. When I am with you I feel happy, safe, confident and at the same time insecure and afraid. 

- Caitlin, I ...- Barry said but I interrupted him.

- You're the first person I liked after that disaster with Ronnie and it scares me. You came to STAR Labs and changed my life completely. I love you, Barry Allen!

"You don't even know how happy I am to hear that," he said, approaching me, until he ended the distance between us and kissed me.

- Sorry I didn't tell you in the morning.

- It doesn't matter, what matters is that you're here now.

He hugged me and honestly I never felt so good, so safe in anyone's arms. These feelings I have for him are so good and so scary at the same time.

- You must be so cold.- he said looking at my clothes, all wet.

- If you want me to tell you the truth, I even forgot that I was wet.

- We do it this way, while I prepare dinner, you will take a hot bath.

He went to his room and gave me some boxers and a sweater. I took my clothes and went to the bathroom. The water was so warm and I knew it so well when it fell down my body.

Fifteen minutes later I appeared in the kitchen again, but this time with the clothes he gave me dressed, I sat on a chair and we talked and dated for the rest of the night. I didn't notice that I fell asleep, but I know I woke up in my boyfriend's room and in his arms.

Boyfriend! Who knew this day would come? From an early age I always thought that things between me and Barry would just stay in friendship and I was happy about it, but I always imagined what it would be like to have a romantic relationship with him and now I can know it. For some time I took the step of wanting to get on with my life, as Ronnie died a long time ago and Barry was the right person for the next step.

I looked at him again and since I didn't want to wake him up, I closed my eyes again, even though I couldn't sleep anymore, at least I could enjoy being with him like that. I knew that sooner or later we would have to wake up and get up for another day at work, but I want to take advantage of every second that I can be like this with him, without worries or people around us.