Off One's Rocker - Lashton

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

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Hugging is a good medicine.

It transfers energy and gives the person an emotional lift. You need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.   

Scientist says that hugging is a form of communication because it can sag things you don't have words for. And the nicest thing about a hug is that you usually can't give one without giving one.

There was one type of hug Luke loved.
One where Ashton put strength into it, using both arms, not just one.

Where he could bury his face into the curly haired boy's chest, this made him feel safe and secure, it makes him feel warm on the outside and the inside, it makes him feel wanted.

One that lasts for awhile, and one which gives Luke the impression that Ashton actually cared about him, that all this was not pity.

That's how the blonde felt right now. He was ecstatic, over the moon, that Ashton had asked him out. It was something which he'd dreamed about lately, yet expected it to be a fantasy.

Of course Luke said yes but he also doubted that the curly haired boy felt this way about him. He wondered if that he was just doing it out of pity. Just to make the anorexic love himself a bit more.

However, with the hug he was embraced in currently, his head and hand resting on the muscular boy's chest. Calmly he listened to his heathy heart beat and felt the rising and falling of his chest which indicated his lungs filling with oxygen and then deflated as it pumped it into his bloodstream.

Luke wondered how his heart beat sounded because he was certain that it still wasn't healthy likewise his lungs were probably also still weak. Sighing, the blonde felt sad.

He realised that his body was damaged. He understood that the consequences of himself not eating would lead to complications. Everyone was telling him that.

At the moment though, he was coping with eating. He didn't mind eating because he knew it would help vanish his swollen stomach. Yet once he had returned back to his normal emancipated self, he couldn't bare to gain weight and have fat cling to him.

Ashton sensed the blondes mood change and placed a gentle kiss on his head.  "I love you."

Sadly Luke smiled. "I love you too," he whispered truly. He did love Ashton, even this soon in the relationship (a few minutes really) but what he didn't love currently was himself.

Continuing to wonder, Luke thought that he should be happy Ashton asked him out, not insecure. Yes, Ashton was toned and muscular. Everything positive under the sun. And, yes, Luke himself was seen as a skeletal looking boy who considered himself fat. But at the end of the day, it was what was on the inside that counted.

Pushing away from his boyfriend, Luke untangled himself from Ashton's arms and sat by himself.

The gesture to Ashton seemed that the blonde was in a mood. "Have I done something wrong?" he quickly asked worriedly. He loved Luke and didn't want to loose him. Neither did he want Luke just to say yes because he felt he had to.

"You do want to go out with me, right?" he double checked nervously biting his lip.

From behind he saw Luke nod and they stayed in silence. Just their breathing could be heard.