Off One's Rocker - Lashton

Chapter Sixty-three

Chapter Sixty-three

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Luke held on tightly to Ashton's hand as they entered the cinema, he did not want Ashton to leave him. He could not let him go.

"How was therapy?" Ashton asked as she placed a cup of hot chocolate in front of the blonde and a coffee where he sat. They were early, so decided to sit and talk. Luke, once again reached across the table and held his boyfriends hand.

"Same as usual," the blonde shrugged simply.

"You seem down," Ashton remarked, slightly concerned

"Suposedly so," he agreed, too tired of lying.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything," the blonde laughed nervously.

"Even me?" Ashton asked with a pout. Getting up from his seat and sitting beside the younger boy. He placed a supportive arm around his small body, Luke letting his head rest on Ashton's shoulder.

"Besides you," he said, smiling a little up and the curly haired boy.

"Is therapy not helping?" Ashton asked knowingly. He had Sid as a therapist before and he knew his method. It was horrible, somewhat distraughtful, but extremly effective.

"Not really," Luke agreed. "It makes me feel worse."

"That's Sid for you," Ashton chuckled.

"Huh?" The blonde looked up again confused. Did Ashton have some sort of insight on what the therapsit had planned. He did, partially. But, it was mainly just two years of experience.

"Sid's method is very different from any other therapsits and that's why Alex did not want to help you any more. He knew he couldn't."

"And Sid can?" the younger asked confused.

"Well, for starters, look at this," the curly haired boy smiled, giving the anorexics stuffed tummy a tap. Luke blushed a deep red. "You're eating!"

"Four slices of cake!" Luke disagreed disgustedly.

"Why do you do it if you don't want to?" Ashton asked, trying to get the boy to figure out the man's tactics.

"Because I have to," he moans, his tone raising out of annoyance.

"You don't. You can just refuse like you used to do," he stated simply.

"I'll get in trouble."

"Eating one slice of cake is enough. Don't you think he is trying to prove a point?"

Luke sat up, gulping. His blue eyes were threatening to spill tears. In his mind, his boyfriend had just called him fat. "No," he shook his head, completley confused.

"You have a problem, Luke," he told him irratatedly.

"I have many," Luke agreed.

"He's focusing on your eating problems," Ashton sighed. Worried by how Luke always shut down anything to do with eating. Whether he eats too much or too little, he will find a way to avoid the situation.

"I know that," Luke huffed, a single tear dropping down his cheek.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, the older boy reached forward to wipe the tear from his cheek. "He want's you to realise that you eat too much."

"Only sometimes," Luke protested, another tear trailing down his cheek, which was quickly wiped away by Ashton's index finger.

"But, when you recover, you just eat and eat Luke. You still binge now. You just became scared again and you're trying to hide behind that fact by starving yourself."

Luke knew it was true. He did not want anyone to know that he over ate a lot of time. Hence why he decided to either purge or to starve himself. Either way, it was always a result that was triggered by eating too much.

"I'm sorry," the blonde whispered, his body falling into Ashton's chest.

"Don't be Luke. None of this is your fault," he reassured the blonde, placing a small kiss on his head.

"My mind is messed up," he mumbled, hating the lack of control he had.

"Mine is too. Sid helped me overcome it though," the curly haired boy encouraged the hope of recovery.

"Sid hates me," Luke recalled after he told him to leave.

"I hate you too, sometimes. You can be a pain in the ass. Either way, he won't give up on you until you are fully recovered."

"I have secrets Ashton," he warned.

"I know you do," he nodded in agreement, his hazel eyes flickering down to the boy's wrists.

"I won't tell nobody, ever."

"Not even me?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

"I know one of them though."

"I know you all do, but I won't let you get evidence."

"I'll never give up on you Luke, I love you way too much," he sighed, pulling the boy in closer for a hug.

"I love you too," Luke agreed. "I thought I was loosing you after the way I've been."

"Never."

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