Business Only

Chapter 40

XAVIER POV

She's about to walk out the door.

I'm not going to lose her again. I grab her hand, stopping her from moving any further.

"I need to leave Xavier." She says, heartlessly.

"What? No! you're not going anywhere, I love you and I'm going to fight to keep you." I say almost irritably.

She throws her head back and laughs, but there's tears trailing down her cheeks. "Don't say you love me, because you're making a promise with my heart that I know that you don't intend on keeping."

Is this really what she thought, she thought that I'm going to leave her.

It wasn't my choice last time and this time I'm going to stay with her because she's all I need.

"That I can't keep? You made me lose my company, everything I've ever worked hard for and I'm still here!" I shout, maybe this will make her realise.

"You made me lose something even worse - you. You made sure every bit of my heart was burnt and then you left me." She turns away from me.

Her shoulders shaking at the weight of her silent sobs. She wipes her tears onto her sleeve before looking me dead in the eyes once again. The tip of her nose is a soft shade of red and her green eyes are like oceans, brimmed with tears.

"Lia I.." I want to hold her, console her and make everything better.

I take her hands into mine but she snatches them away.

"That's the problem Xavier. You love Lia, you remember Lia, you crave Lia...but I'm not Lia anymore."

"I love you."

"You don't." She's talking through her tears "you think you love me because loving me is a chance at finding Lia again, you have no reason to love Amelia. All Amelia ever did is lie to you, hurt you and ruin you.

"I love all of you." I say, what else can I even say.

Her eyes shine through the tears as she smiles, a smile that tells me 'aw you poor boy, you don't understand'.

"I'm sure you think that your Lia is hidden somewhere under my layers of defence and beneath my cold exterior." Her breathing hitches "But your Lia is not here." She puts her finger over my chest, at my heart, "she's in there, she's your fantasy."

"I want you. Lia isn't someone I'm looking for, Lia is you, your soul is Lia and I can't live without it."

Her eyes well up again "I'm sorry Xavier, but my soul won't be able to survive you again."

"I won't hurt you again." I promise sheepishly "I don't want to be your pain. I want to be your happiness, your love, your family...your healing."

"How can you heal me...when you're the reason I'm covered in scars?" She asks.

"I love you with everything I have, and your love in return is all I need." I'm saying anything at this point.